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Sunday, December 2, 2018

Undertale

I learned not to get swept up by internet hype especially since I STILL regret paying even a single cent for "oh look at me cover all the hipster selling points" indie title Gone Home. But as even my nephew recommended it, I guess I had to try Undertale at some point especially since I live in my sister's basement for free #MillennialMinimalistGamer.

What my room looks like minus piles of games, empty dew cans and hentai wall scrolls.

I decided to get this one on (my sister's) Switch during the recent #BLACKFRIDAYKILLERDEALSCLICKNOW!!!! even though I would have preferred to play this on the Vita. I skipped the Vita because digital games are region locked and I didn't want to waste the money and space on a physical copy. I'm not a weeb so I really didn't want to play this in Japanese and cringe at how they tried to translate all the stupid puns nor did I want to have to reset my Vita to NA region. The Switch version miraculously has no region restrictions and even comes with both languages. I'm sure glad I went the English route because the JP version doesn't look like it uses any Kanji. I guess what was an unfortunate technical restriction from the Famicon days is now some sort of weird hipster retro fashion statement. Fuck off.


Speaking of ぎじゅつ, have you heard of fucking Unicode?

Even in English, I noticed a weird usage of singular "they" to refer to the Player, which in our time was a sentence agreement grammar error. I thought it was an easy problem to fix by asking your gender but then I remembered nowadays that would be a PC nightmare with whatever popular genders youngers are identifying with this week. So yeah, I guess they don't have to worry about grammar no more and by "they", I was referring to me. So should I start talking about the game or finish off with another round of old man ramblings?

I feel like every indie game I played has at least one picturesque, scenic road. +1 hipster point?
Given how hyped this game is for reasons I cannot fathom except I guess not everybody has played 30 years of masterpieces that were never translated to English, the question is not if this game is overrated but by how much. After all, DDLC pretty much lived up to the hype for me so miracles do happen. Well, I'm happy to report that Undertale is only very mildly overrated. Unlike other shit hipster titles, this game actually has some substance and is even fun to play. The combat system is challenging and the music is really good all around.


The entire OST is good, which is quite a feat.

As for the story, it was pretty good and yes, I'd hate to say it but for the hipsters, it does have that Mother 3 vibe. I don't know if Toby played Mother but I wish he could have at least added a dash option like Mother 3.

I thought this was gonna be a place for some revelation but no, it's just where the boat takes you back.

To see the true ending, you do have to play the game twice but it's not that much of a chore since the game is pretty short. The characters were charming enough that I did feel bad about deleting the game but hey, what are their lives compared to the extra space so nephew can play the next trendy game?

Not everybody made it in my first playthrough (sorry lesser 🐕)

I think the story had potential to make this a 4 great game but I didnt quite get the narrative about the Player. I don't want to go into spoilers but yeah, I don't understand the reason for why you were still there.

Overall, it was a good game but I'm still glad I didn't waste my money on an overpriced physical copy. At least it's not published by Super Limited "you might need to suck some dick to get a copy" hipster publisher.


Score 3.5 out of 5 (played maybe around 5-15 hours even though the Switch knows the actual FUCKING number and no I'm not going to install stupid parental control app just for record of hours played)

I might have gone for a 3rd playthrough to complete the trophies but oh, Switch doesn't have trophies. How am I going to know I'm fully enjoying a game without trophies? And also, the Switch is fucking heavy to play in bed, portable my ass. Oh I guess I was supposed to stand it up and play with my (non-existent) friends IRL during a trendy party on my urban roof? Thanks, Nintendo for making me feel inadequate. Ok, that's it for my mini Switch rant, sorry.


Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely

Saturday, November 10, 2018

Corpse Party: Blood Drive(コープスパーティー BLOOD DRIVE)

If it wasn't painfully obvious, I'm a pretty big fan of Corpse Party: Blood Covered Repeated Fear and while I was disappointed by Book of Shadows, overall I like the franchise (and actually Hysteric Birthday is pretty damn funny in a weird way). So given that BLOOD DRIVE is the last and final game at least for Tenjin elementary, I wanted to take my time with it (and no it has nothing to do with the pile of untouched games in my Closet of Shame™ #denial).

Alright Ayumi, it's time to fucking end this.
Looking back, it's been a fun ride over the years and Corpse Party was personally my gateway into a whole genre of games that is now one of my favorite pastimes to curl up on a rainy evening. After supper, I like to grab a nice glass of wine, cuddle up in my bed, turn down the lights and fucking shit in my pants. It stinks like hell but I get the full sensory experience that way.

What? You got a FUCKIN' PROBLEM WITH MY HOBBIES?!!!
This game has the usual crew and all the familiar characters you've come to love over the years. Ayumi is her usual chicken self, crying and freaking out while consistently making the worst decisions evar in classic horror flick style. Satoshi is back as generic and boring as ever. In fact, I cracked up at the VA's commentary bonus section when he mentioned that he doesn't think Satoshi is actually the MC. I mean, DUH! And who can forget- NOW LOADING

NOW LOADING
NOW LOADING
NOW LOADING
NOW LOADING

You're going to be staring at this face a LOT
Yes, I know this is the Vita and all and I've complained about it for other games but JESUS, the game has fucking loooooooong load times. Not only does it take forever to do silly things like open the status menu, but it takes FOREVER to boot up the game. Why THE FUCK does it have to process trophies and "initialize" the system every time? The system is already fucking there, I played the game just yesterday! Did you mean "instantiate"? Holy mother of fuck, do something useful like reticulating some splines. Optimize, fuckers!

Maybe 5pb. needs to learn some Japanese cause 初期化 shouldn't run EVERY TIME.
The worst offender was in Chapter 9 because the basement takes forever to load and yes I eventually got good at avoiding the swinging blades but until I got the hang of it, I had to die 5 or 6 times and each time, waiting for the damn thing to load was not fun times. Not to mention the fact that you need to play this chapter at least twice and more likely 3 times for the trophies. I don't know the technical details but it all has to do with the fact that they wanted to take it to the next level with 3D.

Unity engine SUCKS. I know cause I'm a gamer in my mom's basement!
I mean, I'm glad they made the effort and didn't just do another visual novel like the previous two games, though there's so much reading, it still is practically a ADV game. I'm not particularly fixated on the classic 2D indie vibe either but I would have appreciated if it didn't take ages to load. The game crashed on me a couple times too, once right at the end so yeah, technically, this game does not impress.

I don't want to sound racist or anything but maybe back off a bit on the offshoring dev team?
Putting aside the technical aspects, the story is pretty good. If you liked the other games so far, you won't be disappointed by this one. It kind of reminded me of that 3rd Batman movie with Bane. Things just kept escalating to the point where it's obvious that this is meant as the final chapter and there's really nowhere for the story to go any further.

I also liked that new character Magari and her fashion sense. I won't post screenshots of her like all the YT clickbait thumbnails but to give you a hint of what she looks like, she's got a 🌟 shoved in her crotch. Nice.

I lived in a danchi (what we refer to as "projects" in the hood) and well it wasn't that bad.
I don't know if it's because I'm getting desensitized over the years but I definitely think this one is not as scary as the original or even Book of Shadows. It's at about the same level as Hysteric Birthday (but this one is not hysterical) maybe because the whole organic theme really didn't do it for me in terms of scare factor.

I mean it looks gross but scary? Nah.
I did jump every time I ran into a piano wire or some spikes. They did add a bunch of new mechanic to the Unity 3D exploring parts and it was whatever. Your health restores every time you save so I didn't feel too much tension over it but then it would have been annoying if it was too hard and required you to restart. All in all, I guess it was friendly enough for the new kids. I wasn't too fond of the fact that the characters have as much stamina as a typical obese American and can barely run a few feet before having to pause for breath especially when climbing those spiral stairs repeatedly.

These things were more annoying than scary
The game did try to get clever with like 2 puzzles at the end which seemed... random. One of them still makes no sense to me and can be solved by guessing.

I don't get it. Oh well, move along.
Score: 2.5 oh those memories, good times, good times out of 5 (23 hours for platinum)

Overall, as I listened to the staff commentary at the end (Seiyu nerd here), I did share a lot of their feelings of nostalgia and bittersweet sadness at it all coming to an end. The VA for Kizami even said it felt like he was graduating. I did reminisce on all the good times like the head that fell off tripping on piano wire and the panties showing as the body swung around by the neck in the toilet stall. Oh, and who can ever forget the death by suffocating via Yui sensei's butt or the swimsuit contest in the freezing rain outside Tenjin elementary?

Gravity defying skirt? See, Unity can't even do basic physics!
Yes, it's sad but all good things must come to an end. This game is pretty good I guess, but it definitely has a lot of issues. Still, it's a Corpse Party game with the signature dummy head 3D sounds and awesome music. The OST was really good except for one very annoying track that had some dubstep (damn kids!). Whomever thought hearing a dubstep drop on loop was a good idea, well, it's not. Idiot.

Good shit as usual

In the end, overall as a series, it was a fun ride and I appreciate Blood Drive for ending it. I will now bid this series adieu and am looking forward to a whole new cast of victims in Corpse Party 2.

God damn it Sony, the light rays need to be covering the whole body to protect the poor children!

Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely

Binary Domain(バイナリー ドメイン)

This may come as a surprise to regular readers of this blog (all 2 of you) but I'm actually a pretty big fan of FPS and 3rd person shooters (TPS?) or at least I was while still devs cared about the single player campaign and not whatever battle royale garbage they're trying to hawk these days (damn kids). Yes, I played Wolfenstein and later the free shareware part of Doom probably on somebody else's computer. I played the Quake games, Unreal, Half-Life (including the original), blah blah blah so I have probably well over 10 if not 20 years of shooting enemies dead. And yet somehow I have no urge to own guns in real life and would be perfectly happy not having to worry about what other idiots might do with them but let's not get into that cause it's fucking depressing, not even joking.

It's not fucking Doom (1993), it's Doom. I hate it when they steal the original name.
Anyways, for reasons I can't begin to fathom, most of these types of games are American so I didn't talk about it here as a Jhipster but here we have a 3rd person shooter by the Ryo ga Gotoku studio. I played it in English because Japanese dub for English speaking characters is meh (don't confuse Jhipsters with weebs). It takes place in Japan and logically, the Japanese characters speak in Japanese amongst themselves so the "English" dub is definitely way to go.

She's Chinese but Asians all look the same, right? #racist
I play all my shooters on PC because I'm old school and will always play with keyboard+mouse unless it's a console exclusive. This one is a pretty standard over the shoulder Gears of War cover system type of game but the damn robots suck up a lot of damage at least on Hard difficulty. It's actually harder in the beginning until you upgrade your weapon.  Near the end, you'll be popping robot heads like Trump's doctor pops pills.

Damage being like 0.01%. Prepare to pump hundreds of bullets to take this puppy down.
The distinctive feature of this game is the whole voice command thing which I turned off cause I'm not going to be saying "Yeah" into a mic like an idiot. In fact, I had to Google the fact that you HAVE to turn off the voice command in order to use the keyboard to pick your reply. Picking the right answers and also playing well will raise affection levels with your team members while friendly fire will do the opposite, which is annoying because they're constantly running into your line of sight. Parts of the story will change depending on how well you get along with the characters which makes this game feel definitely Japanese.

You can't have a Japanese game without a geisha, right?
Of course, I didn't give a fuck about the guys or Rachael (pretty much also a guy in my book) and spent most of the game with Faye and Cain. Having only one hottie definitely does NOT feel Japanese so I was stuck with Cain as the third wheel. I don't think getting chummy with Cain does anything for the story but I don't care about Steam achievements so I'm happy with the ending I got and have little urge to play through it again.

As for the story, the whole robot vs human thing has been done so many times, it's almost impossible to have an original story. The only thing I would say is that the game tried to be a little bit original and didn't do anything too cliché like Blade Runner or something. The main character was a bit fishy being called the Survivor and all but I won't give anything away. Overall, like the rest of the game, it was fun enough.

You only kill robots so I guess that doesn't make you a murderer #BeAllYouCanBe
Score: 3 but wait, what if we were all robots in the Matrix in somebody's dream? Whoaaaa, deep. out of 5 (14 hours to beat)

I always have a shooter on the side as an outlet after hours of hardcore RPGing or hours and hours of ADV reading. I still play on hard mode because hardcore gamer here of course. This game does unlock yet another level of difficulty after you beat it. It was fun and all but I got my fill and won't be going for a replay. It was an average enjoyable experience and not much more than that. At the very least, it was WAY better than my previous shooter outlet: TimeShift (sigh, the shit I play).


Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely

Sunday, October 28, 2018

Tsugu no hi -Tozasareta Mirai-(つぐのひ ー閉ざされた未来ー)

I was trying to play Blood Drive for Halloween but it's obvious I'm not gonna finish it any time soon (probably wasted too much time playing Majin Tensei), so here's a quick look at a dead (ha!) simple game that only takes 15 minutes or so to finish: Tsugu no hi -Tozasareta Mirai-, the latest in a series of freeware games so popular(?), it even spawned a movie.

JK and shoes, what more do you want?

The "gameplay" if you can call it that, consists of moving left until you get to the river. Apparently, things are not going as you'd hoped (you're a JK, isn't that good enough?!) and you decide to redo the day somehow.

Anyways, after repeating the walk a few times, there is a little bit of scary to enjoy especially with headphones. On the phone, it was a bit annoying that I couldn't hide the browser bar but I somehow managed to cope.

The ✋ woman! Worry about the ✋!

Score: 2 JK first world problems, cry me a river out of 5

Not much to say about this one except it's not the worst way to spend 15 or so minutes.

Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely

Wednesday, October 17, 2018

Hatsune Miku: Project DIVA F 2nd(初音ミク -Project DIVA- F 2nd)

Right after I finished Diva f (lower case "f" for Vita version), I was on some kind of Miku high and played the sequel pretty much non-stop for 2 weeks straight though I guess I did pop it in probably the day I bought it like 3 years ago (#hoarder).

This is what my actual weeb room looks like. Yes, I'm also blonde American wearing yukata everyday.
The first song that popped up was freakin' Melt (again?!) along with 105 pieces of DLC on PSN which pretty much puts the final nail in the coffin of the DLC-free gaming golden age. So things weren't looking too good from the get-go and my fears were confirmed as the song list features lots of repeats from the PSP games.

Firmly in the DLC fuck-me-in-the-ass era
Fortunately, it's not nearly as bad as the wholesale recycling they did on Diva 2nd and Diva 2nd Extend and none of the songs from Diva f are reused. So if you're one of those new kids who never played on the PSP, all the songs will appear new to you. Marketing would probably even call it a remake of the classics with enhanced graphics and gameplay. After all, they brought back all the popular songs such as World is Mine (for the 3rd time but who's counting?) and even made completely new videos for some of them.


Of course, for me, as a veteren of the series, it's a bit of a disappointment especially since there's been a new Miku song released every day except one for the first 10 years of her existence so there should have been plenty of new songs to choose from. At least they brought back my favorite from Diva Extend Musunde Hiraite and even added more eyes cause MORE IS BETTER.

Not as scary now after playing this song for 20 times+
It's still a good set as they picked out only the good songs from the PSP era and added a few new songs I really liked. At the very least, there is now almost no reason to buy Dreamy Theater for any of the PSP games given how overpriced they are and with the weird requirement of having to prove you own the PSP version, the first one actually requiring you to plug in your PSP!

PSP "classics" now in full HD glory!
The other nice tradition they continued is automatically unlocking all the modules you already purchased (using diva points) from the previous game. Despite the large list of DLC, the game comes with a number of great looking modules ("for free") combined with all the modules from Diva f. My personal favorite was "Bless You" followed closely by "Heart Hunter" and "Honey Whip" cause garter belts #hentai #loser.


Some of my favorite songs in this game were Hello, Worker and Knife. I was especially impressed that they changed the little picture on the character's resume in Hello, Worker depending on which character you pick. This kind of attention to minor detail is what gets me hard... err I mean "inspired".

Of course, you can use the matching Luka module with suit+tie but this is how I dress at work #MericanBlond
Another awesome new song was Kagerou Days because if you get the Chance Time at the beginning of the song, you get a TOTALLY NEW video. That was pretty cool and I wish they do that with more songs going forward. Overall, I was quite satisfied with the volume of content given that I paid $25 for a used copy #cheapogamer.

The weird cone shape is actually fancy gelato, I saw it in Sunshine City. Miku is so hipster!
As for the gameplay, I'm by no means a professional musician but I play a pretty mean sax and terrible at the piano. I can pretty much only play Moonlight Sonata (the first movement only of course, or as music snobs will tell you Op.27 No.2 Mov.1, cause Mov.3 is a clusterfuck). Anyway, I'm just trying to say I dabble in the musical arts and I know I'm repeating myself when I say that Project DIVA is not exactly the best series of rhythm games. And yet for some reason, I can't stop playing them and DIVA F 2nd is probably the most "rhythm-y" game in the series so far.

I didn't try playing the same keys as the PV but they look legit to me.
I usually turn off the sound effects because they are not part of the music (DJMax shoutout!) but this time, they introduced different sounds for each mechanic and I really liked that satisfactory long note pop, like the one they had for Project Mirai on the 3DS.

Try dem graphics on the 3DS. You suck Nintendy! #consolewhore
Besides the skins (DLC cash in) and challenge items, the only major gameplay change is they took the star "scratch" mechanic to the next level, introducing "W" double scratch and these really annoying connected stars that are hard to time unless you remember how it matches the music. I mentioned that the whole touch mechanic in the previous game didn't really bother me as it was an easy way to rack up points. Well, this time, I had weird issues where my swipe didn't take and I actually ended up using two fingers just in case. Meh.

Freakin' stars, you're blocking my view!!
Now that we talked about the main game, it's time to dive into the goddamn trophies. I fully understand that riajuu who only play games as a recreational activity to have fun (whoa, crazy concept!) probably don't give two shits about trophies. If you're one of these sickening people probably with friends IRL or god forbid, in a relationship, the story ends here.

Ofc there's a riajuu app. There's an app for everything now
But if you're a "REAL" gamer or alternatively, a cheap bastard who wants to make sure she's getting full value from the enormous amounts of money she wastes on an unhealthy game hoarding habit (hypothetically speaking of course), then it's time for me to talk about the Diva Room and the FUCKING clock.

Fuck you Sega, respect my time!
The Diva room was a fun distraction in Diva f from the main point of fucking playing the rhythm game. At no point did I ever think, "oh I hope they REALLY beef up the Diva Room features instead of oh I dunno, adding more new songs?" and yet here we are. You can't just rub heads until they're satisfied anymore, you have to stop just before this new heart meter breaks. You can't just shower your Divas with presents, you have to wait in game time (so just coming back later does nothing). Oh, was unlocking random calligraphy and sketch events annoying? Let's add a whole bunch more random item events and change it so you can't repeatedly give the same present to make it EXTRA time consuming, yay!

There's a 50% chance of getting this event. Ya having fun yet?!
The final fucking straw was the goddamn clock, which requires accepting 78, SEVENTY FUCKIN EIGHT requests. Say hello to hours of head rubbing, presents, waiting (in game time), and fucking patty cake after patty cake as you grind your way to your fucking precious trophy, ya loser.

If you're worried about memorizing patty cake, let me assure you, you'll fucking memorize it
If you noticed that this blog post seems to have a lot more screenshots than usual, well, it's because I was fucking waiting for the next head rub or present, jumping from room to room to room, again and again.

Score: 3.5 Couldn't find any panchira this time but I hope a SJW investigates to see if there's any camel-toe textures like PUBG out of 5 (51 hours for platinum)

In the end, if you don't care about trophies and especially if you skipped all the PSP games, this is probably the best Diva game in the series so far. It's so fun to play around with the modules and accessories and while the scratch swipe was a bit annoying, I got used to it. You can also configure scratch to use analog to match the PS3 but I found it was not sensitive enough for me.

Glad I don't work with her, sexual harassment waiting to happen
I will be sad when I run out of Project Diva games to play so I'll probably take a break for a while. Maybe I'll play some of the other Vocaloid games that came out around this period.


I got a lot of these fucking screenshots while rubbing head so here ya go.


This might explain the Cero C rating but then why was it B on the PSP? #Localization

I'll troubleshoot your computer problems ANY time

Can't think of a clever caption here cause all the blood for my brain went uh somewhere "else"

Yeah, so this game is pretty much a Dark Souls ripoff but with music

If they ever make the swimsuits DLC, I'm gonna fucking boycott #entitled

Thankfully, the cat ears are NOT DLC
This is when Miku becomes a god in our alternate timeline

How I feel when I get a PERFECT

This rainbow skin requires clearing a song with each character 50 times which was annoying cause fuck Kaito.

You can see many pantsu in edit mode *wink wink*

No, I didn't buy these skins. It was free at one time. Sorry if you missed out!

Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely

Wednesday, October 3, 2018

Hatsune Miku: Project DIVA f(初音ミク -Project DIVA- f)

While Project Mirai on the 3DS was cute and all, let's go back to the REAL Miku games on Playstation; not that I want to get into the whole asinine console war nerd fuckery. I'm a vendor agnostic gamer connoisseur goddammit, not some Sony fanboi. Just because Sony is superior is every department and two faced Nintendy somehow gets a free pass when they whore themselves for money with DLC and Gacha microtrans "oh kids, it's not gambling!" family friendly facade... wait, what was I talking about again?

Let's rewind back to August 2012 to get a picture of how awesome Diva f was for its time. The Vita was just released probably at some ridiculous price 9 months earlier and Diva f came out along with a special limited model which I wanted but didn't get because no way was I gonna spend that much money. Yes, I still had a trace of constraint back in those days.

In retrospect, it's probably better that I didn't buy this.
This poor cheapo bought the budget re-release which thankfully doesn't have that god awful puke yellow "Best" label. It only took me over 4 years to finally finish this sucker so that might give you a vague idea of my backlog. (#hoarder) But anyway, if you were willing to shell out the cash, Diva f had mind blowing graphics compared to the previous PSP games. It really makes me wonder what ParaPhray was thinking when they released Megpoid the Music♯ almost a whole YEAR later.

Oh, how cute GUMI, you got a game too? Tee hee!
As a rhythm game, the Diva games are fun enough. In this iteration, they took advantage of the touchscreen to add a scratch mechanic ie swiping on either the front or back. It's no Beatmania of course, but I liked the new mechanic as the scratch timing is far more permissive than the regular buttons so it usually turns out to be an easy way to rack up points. It's a bit more clunky on the PS3 using the analog sticks so I definitely recommend the Vita version as it was originally intended. I also liked how they used the stars to good effect on some of the songs particularly at the end of Black Rock Shooter.


Not my favorite song but still fun to play (but maybe not EXTREME...)


And that leads right into the best part of this game: the video production values (thanks intro LIT 101!). I mentioned that Diva extend has some of the coolest looking videos in the series and it's obvious that Sega or whomever had honed their skills through the 3 PSP games and once again delivers great music videos with next gen Vita graphics (oh sorry, I mean previous gen old shitty specs, god bless the Switch!). The extra effect they added when you hit the big star was a really nice touch as it adds something unique to familiar Vocaloid songs.


Golly, what will they come up with next?!


Of course, not everything is all rainbows and Miku kittens. The song list is pretty good and has a fair amount of volume but I wouldn't say it's exploding with content exactly. At least they stopped recycling songs from previous games like they did in Diva 2nd and Extend. The PS3 version has a few more songs that you unfortunately have to buy as DLC for the Vita. As you can see, the good ol' days are coming to an end as DLC is starting to get more pervasive. No more free Haku module for you! You cheap ass freeloader who only wants to buy just the game by itself!

Only 309 yen for 3 modules? WHAT A DEAL!
Speaking of the times, I don't know if the graphics just got too good or what but gone are the days of wonton panchira starting from this game. They did a pretty good job of making sure you couldn't see up there in both the edit and photo mode. Despite the fact that the PSP games were a lot more lax about this kind of thing, this game got a higher Cero rating of C tagged with that "Sexual Content" icon. I guess those panty pixels just got too detailed or maybe it's the enhanced boob physics? Who knows? Who cares? Jesus, you gamers are so fucking creepy! #Losers

I'm not a creepy gamer who would watch a PV for disgusting panchira. In fact, I have no idea how this image got here.
As for the other features, I guess they're a fun enough distraction if you're a trophy whore. The AR features are just a gimmick as usual. My budget game did not come with the AR cards so I had to print them from the website but actually I just got the trophy from the equally gimmicky Live Mode on the PS3. Also, a lot of head rubbing went down in the Diva Rooms (I guess that's what they call it nowadays). I probably would have ignored most of that stuff if not for the trophies.

Way to promote violence Sony. Why don't you take some lessons from Nintendo?

I sleep in my underwear too! Umm... you wanna do a sleepover?
Score: 3.5 thank god we progressed as a society to treat women with the respect they deserve #ConfirmKavanaughNow #NotReally out of 5. (37 hours for platinum)

Overall, Diva f is a great looking game when moving to the next gen still meant a huge noticeable difference in graphics. While not the best rhythm game out there, there's a lot to enjoy, especially the Vita version, which looks way better than some of the video captures on Youtube.

Some bonus screenshots for the post-Trump apocalyptic Miku bible, our new Lord and Savior.

Jesus, where are these mysogynistic images coming from?! #ILikeBeer
The image gallery trophy was a pain as it's totally random.

This song came included as DLC so stop buying used, ya fucking cheapskate!

Yeah yeah, it's not 60fps though so totally garbage

I've seen enough. Time to go grab some curly cheese fries.

+1 yet another reason why Japan is the best place on Earth #weaboo


Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely