Undertale

I learned not to get swept up by internet hype especially since I STILL regret paying even a single cent for "oh look at me cover all the hipster selling points" indie title Gone Home. But as even my nephew recommended it, I guess I had to try Undertale at some point especially since I live in my sister's basement for free #MillennialMinimalistGamer.

What my room looks like minus piles of games, empty dew cans and hentai wall scrolls.

I decided to get this one on (my sister's) Switch during the recent #BLACKFRIDAYKILLERDEALSCLICKNOW!!!! even though I would have preferred to play this on the Vita. I skipped the Vita because digital games are region locked and I didn't want to waste the money and space on a physical copy. I'm not a weeb so I really didn't want to play this in Japanese and cringe at how they tried to translate all the stupid puns nor did I want to have to reset my Vita to NA region. The Switch version miraculously has no region restrictions and even comes with both languages. I'm sure glad I went the English route because the JP version doesn't look like it uses any Kanji. I guess what was an unfortunate technical restriction from the Famicon days is now some sort of weird hipster retro fashion statement. Fuck off.

Speaking of ぎじゅつ, have you heard of fucking Unicode?

Even in English, I noticed a weird usage of singular "they" to refer to the Player, which in our time was a sentence agreement grammar error. I thought it was an easy problem to fix by asking your gender but then I remembered nowadays that would be a PC nightmare with whatever popular genders youngers are identifying with this week. So yeah, I guess they don't have to worry about grammar no more and by "they", I was referring to me. So should I start talking about the game or finish off with another round of old man ramblings?

I feel like every indie game I played has at least one picturesque, scenic road. +1 hipster point?

Given how hyped this game is for reasons I cannot fathom except I guess not everybody has played 30 years of masterpieces that were never translated to English, the question is not if this game is overrated but by how much. After all, DDLC pretty much lived up to the hype for me so miracles do happen. Well, I'm happy to report that Undertale is only very mildly overrated. Unlike other shit hipster titles, this game actually has some substance and is even fun to play. The combat system is challenging and the music is really good all around.

The entire OST is good, which is quite a feat.

As for the story, it was pretty good and yes, I'd hate to say it but for the hipsters, it does have that Mother 3 vibe. I don't know if Toby played Mother but I wish he could have at least added a dash option like Mother 3.

I thought this was gonna be a place for some revelation but no, it's just where the boat takes you back.

To see the true ending, you do have to play the game twice but it's not that much of a chore since the game is pretty short. The characters were charming enough that I did feel bad about deleting the game but hey, what are their lives compared to the extra space so nephew can play the next trendy game?

Not everybody made it in my first playthrough (sorry lesser 🐕)

I think the story had potential to make this a 4 great game but I didn't quite get the narrative about the Player. I don't want to go into spoilers but yeah, I don't understand the reason for why you were still there.

Overall, it was a good game but I'm still glad I didn't waste my money on an overpriced physical copy. At least it's not published by Super Limited "you might need to suck some dick to get a copy" hipster publisher.


Score 3.5 out of 5 (played maybe around 5-15 hours even though the Switch knows the actual FUCKING number and no I'm not going to install stupid parental control app just for record of hours played)

I might have gone for a 3rd playthrough to complete the trophies but oh, Switch doesn't have trophies. How am I going to know I'm fully enjoying a game without trophies? And also, the Switch is fucking heavy to play in bed, portable my ass. Oh I guess I was supposed to stand it up and play with my (non-existent) friends IRL during a trendy party on my urban roof? Thanks Nintendo for making me feel inadequate. Ok, that's it for my mini Switch rant, sorry.


Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely

Doki Doki Literature Club!

Wait, let me explain. In my Jhipster defense, I first found out about Doki Doki Literature Club! in my Jhipster news feed. I wouldn't have even heard about this English-only game if it wasn't for how super Jhipster I am. Um... so yeah... TAKE THAT! (Ego takes 200 points damage! Status: Bruised)

Little known fact: I also know English

I initially scoffed at the idea of playing a visual novel in English. UGH! This looks like some weaboo Japanese wanna-be galge soft porn. However, I was intrigued enough to as least give it a shot. After all, what did I have to lose? The game is FREEEEEEE and the only thing required was some of my time, merely a small chunk of my ever shrinking allotment as time viciously inches forward to my eventual demise. No biggie. So yeah, did I mention this game was totally free? Gratis?

Sad English games require legalese cause lawsuits even for a silly galge

Fortunately, it was not that long and I was able to reach the ending credits in about 3 hours. The art style definitely looks like a game that's desperately trying to look Japanese. I won't go into the story details because don't you hate spoilers?

I ain't writing no poem. Time to uninstall this shit.

Like when you're just trying to look up a song from the game and there's the screenshot for the final boss RIGHT in the suggested videos...

This is a not caption

Sometimes, I wonder, what it would feel like to KILL the spoilers, not like literally but more like feeling the crunch of bone and flesh with some blunt 🔨instrument🔨. In a figurative sense I guess.

Do you guys ever wonder about stuff like that?

Anyways, I thought this game was pretty neat. I was a bit disappointed by the lack of variety in music and routes. Natsuki's route is pretty sparse; would've been cool to see more of her. Even though 英語, I managed to skim through 全く読んでない

どうでもいいだろう
何の意味もないんだよ
何もかも

Score: 4.444444死死死死死死死/#ERROR

Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Who the fuck cares, nobody reads my blog anyway
2 - Worthless, like this blog.
3 - Get Out Of My Head. get out. getoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetoutofmyheadgetout
4 - fuck it
5 -















i'm right behind you