Criminal Girls 2（クリミナルガールズ２）

I pride myself on never buying games at full retail price on release but gosh darn, I liked Criminal Girls INVITATION so much that I couldn't resist pre-ordering the sequel with scented eyemask, etc. (Still smells good!) I did however inexplicably manage to resist shelling out for the spanking stick (I dunno even what to call it) as tempting as the notion of owning such a great collector's item would be for my game collection (plz, plz pick up on the sarcasm).

Oh hi hunny, didn't see you there! Oh this? It's nothing, just my new video game

But alas, before even starting the game, I knew that it would be missing that Imageepoch magic that's so hard to measure called "fun". I played it for a few hours and dropped it due to its grindy nature and the slightly off putting character design. Now, almost 4 years later, I finally grinded the plat out in about 50 hours. NIS released a patch soon after release to add a "Casual" mode probably realizing their "Normal" difficulty was the equivalent of "it's just like Dark Souls!" mode in other RPGs. Still, I managed to resist the temptation to lower the difficulty all the way up to the final true boss.

After grinding for a few more hours, I tried to beat the last boss at level 51 but it kept healing itself faster than I could damage it so I eventually cracked and set it to casual. Yeah yeah, I know, gamer fail. Maybe now, I can finally be a pro reviewer and actually make some money. At least you get a ton of exp so I did eventually beat it on normal at level 56 after beating it in casual 4-5 times. Yes, you have to beat the final boss and true final boss 8 times each (16 total) to watch all the endings. Ugh.

This is just like that time I beat Sekiro without using my hands

The endings aren't even all that great. It's like one CG per girl (reused twice) and some bit of dialogue. The other major disappointment was the lack of content after the final boss. Based on the first game, I was hopefully expecting both Maya and Enri to join your party. But no, unlike the amazing end of the first game, the post endgame content was just a token 2 extra floors and yay another boss you have to beat 8 more times... RIP Imageepoch, how I miss you so.

This doesn't include the 5 hours in the other save file for beating the previous final boss BLEH

The battle system while pretty much the same on the surface to the first game, somehow felt lacking. They added a coaching mechanic that will help or hinder depending on not sure exactly what but I didn't really find it that useful. Also, the skills didn't seem to complement each other for any cool strategies. The reason why the first game was so fun was how sometimes things play out just right like a finely tuned Magic deck. This game was just like, "ugh Yurine, why oh why didn't you suggest the revenge move when you know the boss is about to hit your party like 10 freakin' times. STUPID GIRL!"

Hey don't judge me because my girls are all S instead of M!

On the other hand, the punishment... err excuse me, motivation portions definitely pushed that Cero D rating to the limit. The funny part was the game was obviously self aware of the times with dialogue along the lines of, "Sensei, you'll get locked up for that these days." And then it proceeds to show one of your students chained up so that her face is pressed up against Shinoa's breasts. Kuroe especially was like got dayum! Hope the UN doesn't see this! (For more reasons than one) I'll have to self-censor adjust this next screenshot to align closer to global values as non-Jhipsters might not be able to handle it. After all, my $.001 of monthly Adsense money is at stake here. #FreeH■■■K■■■

Hey, I'm just trying to protect the pride of "our" country (wink wink)

Overall, I enjoyed the game, my negativity really just speaks to how good the first game was. This one is pretty decent as sequels go. It certainly didn't destroy the whole premise of the first game and shat on my childhood memories like the turd Chrono Cross. It's more of the same just... not as good. Ok, but not great. At least coupling TWO girls in motivation really shows innovation in that department.

Screenshot to illustrate the S&M mechanic, what are you trying to look at??

Also, always a nice Jhipster smugness bonus when the English version is censored though it just looks weird because they mostly just removed the chains/bindings yet kept them in the same positions. At this point, I would normally complain that the fact that these games weren't kept in Japan contributed to the climate of commercial games today but honestly with all that's going on with the cancer of Twitter and FB and the fact that anybody can become outraged at anything, I feel like it was inevitable. Some (don't know of a better way to say this) white guy thinks Love Live! is somehow better than another anime sexually(?) even though it's the shittiest anime I've ever seen. In summary, we're all fucking doomed.

Couldn't have said it better myself, Enri...

Score: 3.5 I'm not one of those creepy bloggers agonizing about Tifa's breast size in the FF7 remake but while we're on the topic, what cup size did the pixel analysis indicate? out of 5 (50 hours to beat)

The 16 repetitive boss fights and especially the lack of effort at the end left such a sour taste at the end, I honestly wanted to dock the score down to a 3 average but as one of the last games of this type we'll likely ever see (at least on Censorstation), I left it at a 3.5 and poured one out for the end of an ecchi era. If Criminal Girls X comes out on consoles, I'll probably buy it, but I'm sure it'll be watered down. After all, it's not censored if you do it to yourself right resetera??

It's not censorship because the devs are trying to make money! #LOGIC

Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely

Senran Kagura SHINOVI VERSUS（閃乱カグラ SHINOVI VERSUS -少女達の証明-）

I'm going to be real here for just a second and admit that yeah, the gamergate jokes are getting kind of a bit stale. I mean sure, it was a sad and pathetic showing for mankind err... excuse me peoplekind from both sides but c'mon, it was also freaking hilarious! But alas, every joke must run its course and I need to move on to something else (millennial jokes?). Now, what game was I going to talk about again? Oh fucking Senran Kagura SHINOVI VERSUS? IT'S GAMERGATE TIMEEEE! Let's party like it's 2014!!!

Welp, there goes my Adsense $.015 per month ad revenue

Just kidding, just kidding! Of course I'm not actually going to go full retard to rant and rave about the irreparable harm these evil vidya games are causing to our otherwise flawless society nor am I going to get all hot and excited about anime boobs cause c'mon, that's creepy as hell. Besides, putting up clickbait screenshots does nothing for me since they don't actually generate money. (That might explain why I haven't seen as much Shitaku clickbait lately though it's probably only because I haven't visited that hellhole in years.)

This looks bad but she's gonna get a check for $130G so it's totally cool. #MAGA

No, what you're going to see is the top-notch, A-class, quality game journalism that you've come to expect here. The always purely unbiased review of these works of arts based solely on their artistic and functional merits.

This expression of iron will and determination from the strong female cast will serve as a great role model for future... um... panty designers?

The first thing to discuss is the platform as I opted to stick with the original Vita version and not the PC version on Steam. I don't own the Steam version but I'll be happy to give it a try if anybody sends me along a review code, given how professional my reviews are and all. Ahem, going back to the Vita version, even though it looks pretty darn impressive for a 2013 portable game, it does have load times that are long enough to get annoying. I've probably read the tips on the load screen a million times and I'm willing to bet at least few hours of my total game time were probably spent just waiting.

Too bad this isn't the loading screen to keep me "busy". Eww, that's gross! LOSER!

This sequel does take place right after the events of the first game so I personally would recommend playing Burst on the 3DS first. The last boss in the first game is actually pretty cool. The director did say that a lot of people skipped the first game when talking about the remake: Burst Re:newal so maybe you can start there? Nyu is of course, the Kanji for "breast", but I'm sure all my savvy readers got the pun.

How are you supposed to make money on your own in-product ad? Dumies!

The plot in this game was actually surprisingly decent. Sure, there's a lot of filler about girls talking about candy birthday party etc., but it actually continues and resolves some of the plot points from the first game. It even ties together some events such as Katsuragi's parents with one of the schools, which I won't get into cause spoilers.

This game actually has some pretty good plot points.

Minor story spoiler so skip the next section if you care...



I did briefly wonder why Yagyu wore an eyepatch from the first game and when Shiki guessed it sealed some sort of hiden ninpou, that's exactly the kind of thing you would expect from countless shounen manga.

Holy fuck, I thought this was supposed to be a happy game? (Note the Kanji for "head" and "mom"...)

It's refreshing that it actually just turned to be a perfectly ordinary eye patch and as for the reason why she wore it... well let's just say that when Hibari asked her if she would wear another eyepatch for her if she died, Yaguu replied, "of course". Then Hibari realizes that she won't be able to see and they both laughed but I just imagined Yagyu deciding to give up her eyesight to remember the death of close ones. Seems pretty tragic. It really made me reflect on the importance of appreciating your loved ones and their safety and happiness.

The story really makes you think... about life...n stuff...

As for the gameplay, it was pretty easy but also satisfactory button mashing. I was genuinely surprised that they were able to pull off not just one but TWO more schools essentially doubling the number of playable characters from the first game.

Yawn, boooring! Bring out the new girls!

All 20 characters play pretty distinctively too such as Yozakura's delayed gun fists or Hibari's infinite butt bounces. The game was easy enough that I almost never got to use the Zetsu Hiden Ninpou as it requires you to be low on health. Eventually, I spent an hour of so with all the characters just to see the ninpou for fun such as the giant strawberry cake move.

I hope some kid doesn't try this at home for clicks.

Maybe if I played online with some human players, I would see some more depth in the fighting system. Yeah, even though I bought this game new a looong time ago with the online pass, of course the rooms are deserted now. The game also sells DLC coins to make unlocking panties easier but this was still in the early DLC fuck fest days so it's pretty easy to unlock most of them with the free in-game currency. No need to pay real money for fake panties.

Most of the 98 panties are just color variations... I think. Um, it's not like I spent hours unlocking em all!

Score: 3.5 If Shitaku feels uncomfortable playing this game, maybe switch to boxers? out of 5. (53.5 hours for platinum)

I think I've gone on long enough so time to wrap up this impartial and amazingly in-depth game review. While I would normally dock a game for annoyingly long load times, I gave this one a break cause you know, Vita is obsolete, has like 2 megs or memory, thank god for the Switch savior blah blah blah. It's a pretty fun game overall and I put it slightly above average just for the volume of content and kudos for really ramping up the number of memorable characters. When I can remember most of the names of 20 characters, that means they did a pretty good job.

Misogynistic fashion design 101

I also liked playing around with the various hair, outfit, and accessories because that's just the kind of shit I like to do, I guess. If you like to mash buttons, mess with outfits, and listen to girls talk about I dunno Ninja girl stuff, this game is for you. Oh yeah, and sometimes, every once in a while, people fucking die (but nobody you care about cause we got ourselves a bona fide franchise here!).

Also have to point out the nice fat 43 page Vita manual #goodoldays

Some bonus screen shots for my social studies thesis paper.

It's not just about boobs but also real quality writing

These blocking turtles were annoying as fuck

Nothing to see here. Move along.

Sure the tears looks bad but she's got $150G check coming so... #MAGA?

No seriously, it's a pretty fun game.

Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely

FLOWERS - Le volume sur été -（FLOWERS夏篇）

I actually finished this Summer sequel to FLOWERS all the way back in 2016 but for some reason, never bothered to finish this post. Since I got Winter coming in the mail, I figured I might was well get this squared away. While I lucked out on a ebay snipe for the first game, I got suckered into pre-ordering the rest of the three games like an idiot. I didn't have to preorder because it's not like I'm caught up but then how could I miss out on the drama CD preorder bonus?! I can't miss that! To summarize, I'm still trying to pay back the interest on the payday loan to pay for the last payday loan. Thankfully, there are only 4 seasons on Earth so I'm done for now unless they're going to pull some Venus season or cosmic shower shit.

For some reason, google search for sucker turns up hundreds of trump pics? Weird!

Just like the first game, the art style is wonderful, and the great cast of characters are all back except for one girl (which if you played the first game, is no surprise). Erika is the main character this time around, which is cool I guess. You get to see the main character from the first game so it is definitely a sequel in terms of having to know what happened before to have any clue of the events in this game. However, it doesn't resolve anything from the first game. I'm assuming that will happen in Winter after Prototype has taken all my money (and then some).

You wanna stop by my room after this? For um... tea?

While I really liked the first game, a lot of the charm was in the first impression of the great art and relaxing music. However, human nature rears its ugly head once again as it's not nearly as impressive the second time around. I still really like the series and I will finish all four games for sure but this sequel definitely lacked the oomph of the first game.

Great OP though a bit spoilerish... as usual
What else is there to say except it's more of the same? This time around they "fixed" some of the super niche trivia questions though the convenient rewind feature didn't make it too much of a hassle anyway.

The new character is attractive and I liked their interactions as the two main characters this time around are both kind of assholes (#tsundere). There's some student/teacher action this time as well thought nothing explicit or even barely suggestive. Even when the girls are in their underwear, it's all classy and nothing lewd or anything that appeals to horny, unsightly males.

This is like seeing my mom in her underwear... ugh.

Score: 3 But did they have SEX? OH C'MON! How can you leave that out... AGAIN?! out of 5

FLOWERS is always a good relaxing time for when you need a break from all that hyper sexual imouto, incest, gamergate, Trump school shooting trainer (ssh don't mention guns!), fireboarding mamma jammas CIA shit. Yeah... I'm feeling the urge to dig up that drama cd pre-order bonus right now in fact.

Nothing like a little Yuri to solve all your life's woes

Additional bonus screenshots because I need to clear them from my PC for um... space purposes.

There is absolutely nothing suggestive about this whatsoever

I forget the explanation but pretty sure it was totally wrong

It's been a while so I don't remember what "want to do it?" refers to... LOL

Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely

Trails in the Sky SC Evolution（英雄伝説 空の軌跡 SC Evolution）

OH MY GOD.

Sora no Kiseki SC Evolution is a fucking loooooooooooooooooong game. Got dayum! That's really the first thing I have to say after 118 hours of trailing in the sky... or something...

Game too long, doesn't respect reviewer's time. Score: 0 out of 5 -Shitaku

Of course, now that the original PSP game has finally been localized (oh, welcome to 2006, non-Jhipsters), you might think you can beat this game under 60 hours, but remember I'm playing through the main story like an audio-book and listening to hours and hours of professional voice acting takes a lot longer than the version that's now 12 year's old. (Sorry, non-Jhipsters).

Most don't know SC secretly means Shit-hole Countries cause Japan is racist unlike USA

I started playing Sora no Kiseki SC Evolution right after I finished FC, which is always a mistake. I mean, I always do this even though I'm always burnt out from the previous game and inevitably, I drop the game after a few hours. Though in this case, it didn't really matter because I had zero chance of finishing such a long RPG without dropping it at least 3 or 4 times (or 5... or 6). The only reason I was probably able to finish it was my vain attempt to catch up every time Falcom announced or released another game in the series. At any rate, once I got up to Chapter 5 clocking in at 60 hours, I got far enough in that I figured, fuck it. Time to GIT GUD.

Unfortunately, that's not a coincidence as chapter 5 is when you're done traveling the lands of Liverl for the 2nd time. Ala FF X-2 style, Falcom saved a buttload of work by recycling all the exact same locations from FC. It's reasonable to expect a game to start slow as it introduces the setting and characters so I gave FC a break for the slow start. However, I naively didn't expect to do the same thing AGAIN in the sequel. Yeah, you finally get to go to the docks at the Capital (big whoop) and that tantalizing locked room in the sewer of Rolent (spoiler: there's nothing in it), but 90% of SC's locations are recycled and milked to death. So while the highlight of FC was all the detailed sprite trinkets, I was definitely less impressed this second time around.

Wow, I didn't know Libeeru was spelled like that in English. I guess better then Liverpool?

However, what WAS impressive was the sheer amount of dialogue and how much of it was voiced. If you thought FC had tons of dialogue, you ain't seen nothing yet as SC probably has more than double the previous game. In addition, there's TONS more variation depending on who you decide to take in your party compared to FC which had fixed party members for the majority of the game.

The level of variation in the voiced dialogue was made possible probably only because the original developers didn't have to worry about voice acting. It only takes a dev a few copy and paste operations and a switch statement to code up "Let's go, A-kun and B-ko!", "Let's go, B-ko and C-chan!", "Let's go A-kun and C-chan!", etc., etc., etc. Some of the dialogues even depend on what you did in the previous game ala Mass Effect (before EA took a huge dump on it). When it came time to voice the Evo version, I really don't envy the enormous job that was in store, especially for poor Estelle-chan. I highly doubt that the newer games such as "Steel at its natural temperature" would have the same level of immersion, though I would be highly impressed if it did.

Notice the little pacman to replay the voiced dialogue. (Sorry non-jhpisters)

Falcom also could have taken the lazy route and decided not to voice at least the side quest dialogue, but nope, they soldiered through and even though the VA quality of the various NPCs sometimes sounds like Falcom friends and family members pitching in to help, I at least applaud the effort. Fei, the mechanic, is a hottie though cause she kinda sounds like my ex. (We broke up because they changed her illustration style to be based on the manga spin-off instead of the canon light novel.)

Hey, where's the Falcom friends & family cast credits?!

As usual, the game is chock full of side quests and not all of them are just filler. You'll probably miss a few hidden ones unless you are playing with a guide. The one for chapter 2 was an absolute BITCH, and was actually the most difficult battle in the entire game because FUCKING JIMMY dies in one hit and it's game over (hard mode ofc). There were literally times when you would lose the game even before your first turn. If I was smart and bought the accessories that prevent sleep and confuse for all 4 party members at the Capital, it would have been much easier as you can keep casting absolute guard on FUCKING JIMMY. Of course the store in Zeiss didn't have JACK SHIT. I finally made it with a bunch of Evade 2 Quartz and plenty of items for the status ailments after like 10 tries.

You know what was surprising though? Just by completing this optional sub-quest, FUCKING JIMMY takes his stupid pirate treasure to the museum and you can talk to him throughout the next chapter. Eventually, he ends up applying for a job at the museum. Presumably, none of this would have happened if you didn't complete the optional sub-quest and would have affected even a tiny bit of dialogue in Chapter 8. I didn't check but it would be almost impossible to see every tiny piece of dialogue in this game.

Music was not bad. A bit better than FC.
A couple variations I did check for fun was even a tiny change depending on the order in which you spoke to NPCs or party members. For example, when I spoke with the lady at the restaurant in Rolent, she mentioned her daughter wanting to see Estelle and Estelle replies, "Actually, I already said hi" based purely on the order in which you spoke to two NPCs. Most of these tiny variations in dialogue are voiced as well and really adds immersion to the world not unlike Fallout.

The attention to the tiny sprite details also added to the immersion. While I was a bit disappointed at the heavy recycling of the towns and locations from the first game, I still enjoyed seeing the various tiny expressions in the character sprites and the little accessories. This is the kind of game where if the character were to make an omuraisu (hypothetically speaking), you would see the tiny eggs cooking in the frying pan and a dot of ketchup on the finished product along with the salad.

As a Tiny Kitchen fan, I approve of this game.

The gameplay, while the same as FC, was more interesting as you get more powerful orbments. While in the first game, I almost ignored Arts because of how long they take to cast, this time around, thanks to upgraded orbment for 40-50% reduction in cast time, I made way more use of Arts buffs. Having absolute guard even in a small circle was almost OP as I just bunch my characters and cast after every attack.

As for the story, well, it was a bit of a disappointment honestly. There's nothing wrong with it and it's a perfectly fine, orthodox (what we call Jhipsters call "King's road") story. However, when you experience a story that spans two games and over 150 hours, you kinda end up having super high expectations on a grand finale. And let's just say, while the story wasn't bad, it was certainly no Xenogears. The new art and videos were a pretty good addition at least IMO. I mean, if it wasn't misogynistic that is.

Oh settle down, spoiler freaks, she's right on the damn LE game cover

While I really did want to give this game a score of 4 as a great game, the ending just doesn't deliver greatness. Also regarding the length, while I had fun with it and it's chock full of content, I'm a very busy man and I would like to move on to my next paycheck... err I mean review. I'm not doing this for fucking free you know? Oh oops, actually, I am doing this for free cause OH MY GOD I'm playing games... for fun?? CRAAAZY. So yeah, fuck you Kotaku, this game gets a 4 just for the hours of fun and entertainment.

Score: 4 ok sure why not but WTF is up with Ren's voice? Don't they have lisp speech therapy in Japan?? out of 5 (118 hours to beat)

Having said that though, I'm totally burnt out and I definitely WON'T be starting 3rd anytime soon. Maybe I'll get to it when Falcom releases Subzero Steel 6 Kai.

I mean c'mon, you get to see an NPC hungover, throwing up in the shower. GAMING GOLD!

At the end of the day, I had fun times with all the NPCs and the side stories. I just have to wonder how the story would have turned out if Joshua was ugly and not a fucking ikemen. Where's the representation for ugly, fat men in gaming today?! #GamerGate.

Oh, and FUCK YOU JIMMIE!

Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely

Renai 0 Kilometer v (恋愛0キロメートルv)

It took almost 6 months but I finally finished my 3rd galge: Renai 0 Kilometer v. So I guess I'm practically an expert on the genre, eh? As far as I know, this Vita port is identical in content to the PSP version, which added a whopping 4 extra routes and 2 whole new characters. The only difference is that for some reason the Vita version is ridiculously expensive. I got my "copy" on a PSN sale (yeah, I'm still a sucker).

Don't worry Himuroya, you'll soon get your own route and even a theme song! No H though cause Cero C. Sorry!

One of the additional characters is voiced by none other than Tamura Yukari and she ironically plays the role of a High School student trying to become a voice actress. Tamura Yukari is famous for being eternally 17. (Sorry I have to explain this basic stuff for the non jhipsters). The 2 new characters don't have anything to do with the main story, they're just 2 broads you meet on the street (you playa you!).

So yeah, the main story is pretty much as you'd expect in a galge. It kinda reminded me of Marmalade Boy except more harem-ish. Without getting into the details, just in case anybody reading this is interested in playing it (pfft yeah right), you end up living with a bunch of girls who live next door (hence the 0 kilometer). Basically, 3 imoutos and 1 oneechan (if that's your thing) whom you're legally allowed to boink. Of course, I'm only guessing about that part because I played the censored "oh let's have a date at the mall teehee" Cero C consumer port.

A reader sent in this shot of the 18+ you're going to hell PC version. Thanks xxxOnePieceInYoFairyTailxxx!

Beside the silly premise, I thought the story was actually pretty good. Nothing happens outside the realm of normal reality in this one. No stupid magic tools pooped from a tree or time traveling Suzuha (though as I said Yukari IS in the game). However, even though the situations are very mundane, the dialogue is pretty damn funny. And though I did get tired of the game a bit with all the side routes, the main routes did keep me interested once I finally got to them. Also, a lot of 4th wall breaking humor. There was even a part where the girl said something embarrassing and disabled the backlog temporarily.

Noooo, my backlog!!!!!

The art style wasn't bad though some of the characters have tailored boob pockets and American porn silicon boobs. (Hate to break it to the protagonist, but dem melons ain't natural dude.)

Also conveniently serves as a face pillow in a pinch

Beside the fake boobies, I liked the design for characters that didn't get some uh "work" done. There are also a few scenes using a completely different art style which I thought was charming and cute.

This was apparently before she went in to get some "work" done

Overall, I was pleasantly surprised by this title and though I probably paid a bit more than I wanted to even with a "sale", at least I enjoyed my time with it. I would say, check it out if you can find it for a good price and don't mind a run-of-the-mill, imouto/oneechan-fetish, love triangle... urr heptagon story. I am of course talking to fellow jhipsters only, trophy whores aren't welcome.

I don't even bother talking about galge music anymore cause it's so generic
Score: 3 real boobs aren't shaped like that! ...or so I've read online... out of 5

While the Amazon Japan reviews rag on the Vita port for being pretty much a PSP game plopped onto a Vita cart, technically it was just ok. Yeah, the audio quality ain't exactly PC quality but oh well, at least it wasn't full of bugs like Harvest OverRay. All these Vita galge ports seem like a cash grab to me anyways. Hey, as long as it helps the Vita. You hear me Sony? Make a Vita 2, you chicken shits!!


Additional screenshots for the next generation of galge aficionados.

Dat Cero C steam is damn aggressive.

LOL this part was so funny! (Sorry non jhipsters...)

I never thought I'd say this but I think I can use an imouto break actually

Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely

FLOWERS

This was my first time and I wasn't sure how it would turn out at all but I was undeniably curious. It started all very gentle with graceful hand holding and innocent smooches at first and I couldn't wait until what happened next.

I'm talking about playing a Yuri game for the first time of course. DUH! As soon as I saw the cover of FLOWERS I knew I just had to try it just based on the art style alone and it definitely does not disappoint in that department.

Poor girl, can't choose? Bring both your friends and let's figure it out "together" HEH HEH HEH

Not only does the art look great, but the voice acting is superb as well. You can always tell you got a good cast when one person voices a set of twins and yet still manages to make each character distinctive and easily distinguishable.

Voiced by one girl (HAWT I'm sure)

The music is pretty good too. The in-game music is mostly tasteful classical and pleasant BGM that stays out of the way but the OP and ED were great as well.

OP with Shimotsuki Haruka? HELL YEAH
This is not one of those typical PC eroge that get all the smut and nasty ripped out for the Cero C consumer port. Both the PC and Vita version don't have any kind of sexual content whatsoever. Of course, that's how I prefer it since I'm such a CLASSY gamer that hates boobs and sex.

Playing through FLOWERS, I could feel my stress levels instantly go down as I relaxed with the shenanigans of shy and gentle otome trying to get along in an all-girl boarding school. Sure, if you just want to rip heads off and do other barbarian, brutish activities, this game may seem a bit boring to you. However, for us CLASSY gamers who hate sexual stuff but somehow totally into seeing two girls kiss, there's a lot to like in this game. Especially for those filthy, filthy trophy hunters.

Unlike the 90% of people who "beat" under 20 minutes, I actually played through this game.

While the ending was very unsatisfying given that this is a 4 part series (ugh, I'm gonna need to buy THREE MORE of these??), overall, I thoroughly enjoyed my first foray into the world of Yuri. I can definitely get into this genre.

Oh yeah and for non-jhipsters, there is an official English release on PC amazingly enough.

Score: 4 yeah, maybe I scored this one just a tad high but the first time is special after all out of 5



Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely