Dragon Knight II（ドラゴンナイトII）

You know, these are complicated times and I don't think I'm alone in thinking everything is going down the shitter in more ways than one. But oh well, life goes on, and there's nothing like a classic DRPG to remind you of the simpler days before hawk tuah crypto scams or trying to make rent in this economy. If you're looking to just explore some dungeons while enjoying some old school art, Dragon Knight II will fit the bill perfectly.

The days when you didn't have to buy no crypto for some hawk tuah

In the second iteration, all the girls from the village have turned into monsters. The cool part of this story setup is as you rescue these girls, the weaker enemies no longer show up in random encounters, which really cuts down on the grind from useless encounters. I played through the PCE-CD version, which features voice acting but cleans up all the nudity. So you can either opt for some pixel boobies on the PC or voice acting and auto-mapping.

Don't expect anything more risqué in the PCE-CD version

For completeness, I took on the burden of also trying out the NSFW PC-98 version. It's pretty much the same except the major difference of what happens when the girls you rescued come visit you at the inn to "thank you". The PC Engine version features more comedic episodes without any actual hanky-panky going on. 

Just a friendly village neighbor stopping by for a chat!

The 18+ version, well let's just say that you're probably safe because this village supposedly doesn't have any young men and well, it's a fantasy world anyway right? So no reason to worry about STDs!

I'm always impressed at how good these early PC games look given that it came out in 1990. In fact, I would argue it looks better than a lot of art these days, notwithstanding all the AI shit recently. Putting aside the seggs, this is a fun and simple DRPG you can finish very quickly especially if you follow a guide. You do also get some party members and one can even use magic, which I've mostly just used to escape the dungeon.

 

Don't remember if the PCE version had panchira but definitely not acceptable "modern standards"

Score:  3 "Does hair color count as DEI?" out of 5

Overall, I just had so much fun, I was tempted to give an above-average 3.5 score but objectively, it's a fun and simple dungeon crawler. It's certainly a good reminder of how people weren't so anal about stupid shit back in the day. I liked it so much, I might even finish the PC-98 version to see the rest of the "action".

Oh, I forgot to mention that there's not a single strong female character in the entire game. Sofia is not nearly obnoxious enough to match up to "modern standards". In fact, the whole premise of the game is literally damsel in distress. Awful game, 0 out of 10! (Courtesy of IGNorant)

If you want to see more boobies, play it yourself

Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely

Dragon Knight（ドラゴンナイト）

Dragon Knight is a DRPG where you save the kingdom/town of Strawberry Fields by defeating Dragon Knights. No literally. Dragons that are also knights (spoiler alert?). Personally, I think the game would have been much better if it had SPACE Dragon Knights but I digress.

The knight jumps into the dragon's mind... or something

Because I'm retro old-school, I first played through the original PC version. Not surprising for this type of game, but the kingdom/town is comprised solely of women. Now, I'm not sure how that works since Luna's mother is in the game and hence they must have some way to reproduce. Either they have some secret scissor magic (LOL) or maybe they hire out for some umm... outside help.

Luna, hate to break the news but your dad is... um... a test tube

One of the major problems with the PC88 version were the long load times and significant lag. The game was sluggish even at a blazing FOUR MHz so I dialed up the juice in my emulator all the way up to eight, count em EIGHT MHz!! Maybe the PC98 version is much better but I always have issues with those emulators.

8 MEGA POWER!!!

There's really not much to say about this game except that it's a very, very simple RPG with one attack and one heal spell, no items, and limited equipment. Now, as far I as I could tell, there is no automap feature and while I would love to map stuff out myself (ugh no), I have a life so I looked up the maps on the Suupaa Information Highway.

Nothing like a BACKLER to fend off them monsters

It's essentially a DRPG version of 闘神都市 except without all that sex. In fact, there is no sex whatsoever as you're practically a saint, saving all these women from the goodness of your heart. #WhiteKnight #FriendZone #ClosetSexOffender

What? Clothing? THE NERVE!

Unless you're really insistent on seeing some nipples, it's better to just play the PCE CD remake as it has an expanded story and nothing is cut. In fact, a lot of stuff has been added including bits of fabric or hair in some key strategic spots. I do have to point out that the the PC R-18 version has one image that probably won't be legal today thanks to America's proud work in changing the Japanese sexist laws. Thanks America! I won't put up the image of the match girl here so you'll have to play yourself if you're curious.

Is that one pixel going to make this blog NSFW??

I have to admire the fact that this game has different music for each of the 6 dungeon floors but man, PC88 music is not something you want to jam to for any length of time. I would put a link to one of the songs but nope, here's another screenshot, you horn dog!

There's like 3 other characters that look identical to this one

The PCE CD version is quite a faithful remake as all the dungeon maps are the same EXCEPT oddly enough the 6th floor. In addition to adding SUUPAA CD-ROM POWER voice acting, the game balance was also significantly tweaked. In general, the PCE version is almost TOO easy except for the weird difficulty spike at the black dragon. I grinded for a while there just to discover you only need to survive a few turns to win. MEH

Pretty much the same as PC except for, well try to guess.

Because of the addition of voiced dialogues, you can no longer change the main character's name from Takeru. A fair amount of dialogue was added with some minor plot changes including dialogue lines to hint at a larger story. Another big change is the ability to have a second party member. There's quite a few lines of dialogue in the original version where the main character complains that nobody ever tags around to help. I guess the developers took this to heart and decided to address his complaints. Also, the remake has automap though since I knew where everything was at this point, it was kind of moot (except the 6th floor).

This screenshot makes this look like an actual decent RPG

Score: 2.5  you're probably still googling "match girl" aren't you? out of 5.

I would say this game was a 2.5 including the remake given that it's based on a game from 1989. Yeah, the mechanics are dead simple but sometimes I'm in a mood to play a brain dead RPG without having to think about complicated shit like um... items. I had fun with it even though it's not a great game by any means.

SJWs in a rage right now might want to listen to these lyrics
Some extra screen shots cause, "Hey, I need to make some clickbait revenue too you know!!" I AM a "professional" after all!!

Pretty much the same as PC except for well... what do YOU think?

I tried to go back to the town and NUTHIN

Yeah, I actually finished this shit... TWICE. Don't know why

Next time, I'll probably just stick with the console shit

Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely