I was curious about these harem spinoffs that appear to be almost obligatory at this point for the Science Adventure series, especially for a game as dark as Chaos;Head Noah. Even though this game follows the events of the first game, it was easily able to sidestep the issue of what happened in Shibuya with the whole delusion "science" (emphasis on the quotes) thing. Unfortunately, in the real world, being delusional doesn't affect reality (unless of course, you're a Trump supporter).
All this science is what I love about this series
Takumi has matured a bit after the events of the first game so he's ever slightly less annoying (but still pretty damn annoying). As you would expect from a harem fan-service love comedy, the story is far more light-hearted compared to the first game. To be honest, the gore in the Cero Z version of Noah was a little too much even for me. Fortunately, you don't have to worry about dead babies, etc. this time around. Also, this was before the Soyney Cali era so you could still get away with Cero C for a sliver of fabric without holy rays of damnation.
There is a button to hide the text but... are you really that desperate?
This game does get the obligatory +0.5 Jhipster smugness bonus point. I'm not sure why but they didn't even localize the original game much less this fan-service sequel. I suppose non-Jhipsters could try to do whatever non-Jhipsters do if you're that desperate to see a tiny bit of panti. I mean, I won't judge (you sicko).
But if I hide the text, how would you know what's being said here?
As for the story, I suppose it was a decent follow up adventure to the events of the first game. This time, it's a standard galge ADV where you just have to choose the Mousou triggers that corresponds to each girl's route. In that sense, the story does get a bit boring as it follows the same main narrative just with a different girl. I got so tired of reading the same but slightly altered events and explanations from Erin. Oh yeah, speaking of Erin, she's the sole new character stuck in your computer. I liked Erin's concept and VA and had a few chuckles especially when you scroll up. However, I felt her lack of involvement in the events of the story was a missed opportunity.
2014 when you could still joke about being a lolicon
Speaking of dubious behaviors around fictional underage characters voiced by adults (I feel like I have to point this out), yes, there is an imouto route. There is no incest of course though for reasons I won't go into due to spoilers, the game does bring up some valid points as to why they might not be related. Genetically though, it's a pretty weak argument.
Remember kids, Cero C is ok if you're 15 or older!
As you can imagine for a consumer title, the whole thing is just a big tease. The fact that the routes all follow the same major plot does make the game feel a bit lazy and requires quite a bit of text skipping. Two routes were especially disappointing because they were practically identical. If you played the first game, you could probably guess why since it's Yua.
Yeah, they don't do jack. Not even censored non-sex.
Score: 3.5 What's wrong with imouto naked apron? She just wants to feel comfortable while cooking! out of 5 (24 hours to beat)
Overall, I would say the game is fine. It has some funny moments and it was entertaining enough. The quality of the game is pretty high like the rest of the series so it does get a slightly above-average score. Now, I just need to delete all these screenshots from my sister's computer since she's all complaining about hentai porn or something.
This was NOT the reaction I got when my sister found these pics
If this got localized, do you think they'll go with "mouth rape" for the translation?
I know you are but what am I?
The tips are very helpful, never knew what NTR meant. No, really!
No, don't talk about the law! It's called plausible deniability!
Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely
There was a story going around way back in the day about people waking up in a bathtub full of ice with a scar. I had no idea that organ theft was a thing before and it kind of freaked me out (as intended). Much later, I watched a movie called SPL 2 about organ theft. Well, I didn't actually watch it but I sure as hell watched the fight scenes a ton. (Max Zhang is so bad ass!)
Pretty much the only parts I watched
So why the hell am I talking about this in a post about a Jinguji game? I'd like to think I've played my fair share of detective ADV games. They may be about serial killers, criminal masterminds, or grand conspiracies. A bit of a spoiler warning here but this is probably the first "hard boiled" detective story I played about illegal immigration, unsafe working conditions, and harvesting umm "reusable assets". Sorry about the spoiler but honestly, how many of my 3 readers were actually planning on playing Mikan no Rupo? Don't worry, you're not missing out on much.
The game starts out with a pretty good opening sequence of a murder, pretty typical of this genre. This series came back after a long 6 year hiatus with quite a big leap in technology on the PS1 compared to its Famicom days. While most of the game is not voiced, there are few anime cutscenes with voiced dialogue. There are also a couple odd but brief 3D sections where you walk around talking to people. Finally, there's a pretty crude car chase minigame. Besides the brief dabble into I guess "cutting edge" PS1 technology, it's an ADV menu game just like the previous entries.
The copious smoking part at least is accurate
Odd coincidence but this game asks you to pick a character to play as, at different points during the game just like the last game I played, Jui. I'm not sure if I missed anything significant based on who I picked but just like Jui, I have no desire to play it again to see the differences.
I missed this part because I picked Yoko instead
Score: 2 lung cancers out of 5. Don't worry kids, smoking was totally healthy back in the 90s! (Disclaimer: This is absolutely not true.)
I dunno, I thought the game was alright even though it did put me to sleep quite a number of times. I mean literally fall asleep as I deliriously tried not to drop my PSP before the sweet embrace of sleep rendered me unconscious. To put it mildly, it was not as exciting as SPL 2 fight scenes. I already dumped my 1500 yen budget re-release copy of the game.
I honestly don't remember this part, probably was unconscious
Still, the story had some moments of good human drama, and the main plot as I said certainly covered some interesting topics. It was also much better than the Famicom games I've played so far so hoping to see the series get even better over time. Especially since there still so damn many games left to play.
Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely
Well, here we are, Final Fantasy goddamn FIFTEEN, 29 years into the series. We are halfway to the point where Squeenix will probably need to avoid roman numerals for 30. That'll make searching on google about the game a bit... tricky to say the least. But I really do hope they make 16, 17, and so on instead of fucking with it like all the other companies eg "Final Fantasy One X1 Pro" or god forbid just "Final Fantasy".
Cindy will have a cameo in FF XXX in hologram form
I bought this over 2 years ago used for about $25 so I don't have any of the DLC. I usually try to wait for the inevitable GOTY version but I got suckered in early with the Assassin's Creed limited time quest. It was pretty fun and even had parkour gameplay that's not part of the regular game. I did miss the Moogle Chocobo Carnival event but whatever, who cares.
I'm guessing not available on Stadia (cause didn't buy that shit)
I still remember the FF13 Versus trailer oh so many years ago. I'm not even gonna google how long ago that shit was cause it'll just make me feel old as fuck (again). But yeah, what is there to talk about that hasn't already been said? Do I want to go into the whole Cup Noodle thing? Or talk about the movie/anime/DLC multimedia franchise approach to the story? I'm sure all the "pro" gamer sites have all that covered so let's just fucking talk about the game.
The GEICO collab ad campaign
You have to hand it to the Square part of Squeenix, if there's anything consistent about them, it's that they like to change things up. FF15 is unlike any game I've played before. It's a virtual road trip, instagraming, cooking game with your male buddies with no BL elements whatsoever.
Chicks love guys that can cook (if you look like Ignis that is)
I guess I can talk about the battle system which was ok I suppose. There were a few places where the monsters seemed to be over powered especially in the last chapter but I just learned to avoid them. The economy is also kind of broken as you can bungle your way through with Elixirs. Mostly I just spammed attack and it's a mainstream game so you'll get through it without a great deal of effort. Magic is completely useless this time around as you have to craft like 3 at a time, they hurt your own party more often than not, and the cool off period is incredibly long. But really, is FF15 a fantasy game about defeating evil, fighting bad guys, and watching a story unfold in an interactive entertainment medium? Nah.
Menudo with Curry and Nan??? Hmm, I have a hipster food truck idea...
Like I said, FF15 is all about taking photos with your pals, taking photos of your food, bugging Ignis about his can coffee while you cruise, and camping out with Coleman gear. I dunno if I would call it a fun game but it was certainly interesting and to a certain extent relaxing. Sometimes, I would let Ignis drive and I would kill time reading something on my phone in the real world. Other times, I would try to use fast travel but it's not fucking fast at all.
I'm sure this will be fixed on PS5 remastered GOTY re-milk edition
The photo algorithm they implemented seems pretty ingenious. For example, at the end, when you pick your favorite photo, I picked one with Iris and her bother was like, "uhh ok... should I be concerned?" So obviously, there's some logic in there to know that she was in the photo. It also made the ending just really funny. I giggled at least. Yeah, I have a weird sense of humor.
I will choose imouto everytime, anybody's imouto will do.
I put in about 70 hours for the Platinum, the last 10 or so spent mostly fishing and trying to make that special soup to kill the mountain. I'm not sure how many of the 70 hours were spent multitasking while cruising around, etc. For us Americans, if you're going crazy from all this winning while being trapped in the house, this might be the game for you. (#MAGA 2020! aka "let's fuck ourselves for another 4 years")
Who needs real life when you can catch 91 kilograms of fish from home?
Score: 4 Going outside? Pfft, over rated. out of 5 (70 hours for platinum, 48 hours to beat)
This game by all measures is a solid above-average 3.5 game. It was pretty fun, the graphics are amazing but the story is a bit weak. However, I'm going on a whim here and giving it a 4 great game score mostly because I appreciate that Squeenix is still around to make big budget Japanese RPGs. Sure, you can't pan to the bottom to see Iris's underwear in gallery mode but at least it's not trying to shove whatever social message is trending these days in your face. (I can't wait to pre-order Beyond Good and Evil 2 #sarcasm!)
I'm assuming there's a PC mod to get full 360' camera control
At the very least, despite the weak story being spread out over a film, anime, and I assume DLC, I really enjoyed the ending. There's nothing like a set of Coleman logo camping chairs to get you invested into the characters. (Please click on my Coleman affiliate links to support the site!)
Don't those Coleman chairs look so comfortable? Buy yours today!
More screenshots to compare resolution pixels with Stadia since I will be reviewing it once I become pro gamer reviewer and get free shit... one day.
29 years of technical advancements right here
Don't you just hate the idiots that try to compute at the pump?
The 2016 version of fan service, properly masculine and assertive. Oh how far we've fallen.
Ironically this collab mission is still playable while Terra Wars lasted all of 176 days.
Better IMO than Asscreed 3, I would stop playing AC but they keep giving me free copies!
Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely
Some of you may recall that I didn't like the first Yarudora game Double Cast that much. After all, that's a post currently tied in first place for the record of most number of people to leave a comment. Unfortunately, it was not able to reach what would have been a record at 3 people but at least I know 2 people know what I'm talking about.
Would it kill you to leave a comment? Anybody? Hello?
Maybe this post will finally reach the record because I'm happy to report that the 2nd game in the series was much more to my liking. It may not be everybody's cup of tea as it's not suspenseful like Double Cast but I like these sweet, wistful love stories. This old man remembers back when I was young lad, playing FF7 by myself, holed up in my room. Back then, we jerked off to Tifa even if her boobs were a single triangle polygon, none of this complaining about sports bras. Ahh, to be young again!
Ack, the sun... and a girl! That's like gamer kryptonite and garlic!
Even if you prefer a more dramatic story like the first game, I'm sure all (three) of us can agree that the animation is much improved in this game. The PSP version constantly nags you with trailers of the other games when you reach an ending so I was reminded of how bad the first game looked every time I saw the trailer.
The story is about a young girl you run into that appears to have lost her memories... AGAIN. Yeah, I guess if you're going to make a sequel, might as well keep the same theme? However, this time, it's just a cute girl in a school uniform that thankfully isn't violent (except for the panty shot kick to the face).
This plot has a twist: normal brain functions! Ah wait, nope, false alarm. Amnesia again.
You know, normally ADV games have a separate system save file that tracks what choices or endings you've seen and how many hours you played across your various saves. This allows you to save at what looks like an important point and then try both ways without having to play again from scratch. Unfortunately, these Yarudora games require you to keep saving over one file after you reach an ending. Even though the skip function is pretty good, it was annoying to have to start over and over again.
Fortunately, at least this game makes use of that annoyance by having some clever variations and endings depending on the last ending you saw. For example, if you make the right choices to make Tomoko happy in the beginning of the game, she offers to show you her legs. Like any normal gamer, I wanted to see that again, but on the subsequent playthrough, even if you make the same choices, and you're like, ok time to show your legs, she's like, "What the fuck you talking about?" I thought that was pretty clever. My translation may not be totally accurate. The only Japanese words I know are "Rasengan" and "kawaii" after all.
巨乳死すべし？ I'm fine with any size.
In fact, the last ending I unlocked was Bad Ending 12 because it requires 3 consecutive playthroughs. First, you have to slap Tomoko, then the game asks you at the beginning of the second playthrough if you're ok with violence towards women and if you respond, "Yes, the bitch deserved it." (again paraphrasing), you unlock Bad Ending 17. Then, you have to slap Tomoko again, and she fucking knocks you out with 3 hits to unlock Bad Ending 12. I think there's a lesson in there somewhere but I sure can't figure it out. After all, I'm just a normal, cruel, cisgender, white male with no perspective on anything other than how awesome life is.
Huh? Doesn't white privilege mean I get all the Japanese girls I want?
Score: 3.5 "Best not to think about how old Mayu looks like" out of 5 (9.5 hours to unlock all endings, 93% complete)
Ahem, joking aside, I thought this game was well done overall. The animation was good, both Tomoko and Mayu were cute and well voiced, and the music was great. At the very least, my plan to purge this game to make room was thwarted and I'll likely be holding onto my PS1 copy for now. Out of all the interactive anime games I played so far, if I were to recommend just one, this would be the one... at least for now. I'm not the only one that dug this game and the soundtrack as there's a theme song cover from Saekano, a reference I totally didn't get till now. (This old man still prefers the OG version, but cool cover for the kids.)
Oh I get the reference now! (Official anime game expert here)
I don't remember if there was a direct reference to this game in Saekano. It's been a while since I watched both seasons. Maybe playing the Saekano game will jog my memory (yet another game in my ever growing pile of games).
Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely
I was pretty hyped for IA/VT Colorful as evidenced by the fact that I bought it only 8 months after release. As a cheapo gamer, I try to wait for the "Best" garbage edition before I buy the OG cover that's actually resellable. That puke yellow shit is practically unsellable on eBay. (#GamerTips)
Ah, the old "fuck you, buy the original release ya cheapskate!" edition.
Given that I only know of two other non-Miku Vocaloid console rhythm games: the GUMI-defiling atrocity Megpoid and Project 575, I was looking forward to this as one of the few alternatives from Sega's grip on the micro-genre (my own pro game journalist term for "niche" like "micro-celebrities" minus the dick pics). On the other hand, I also wanted to save this one for a rainy day so I only played a bit here and there. Fast forward a full 3 years after buying the game, I decided it was fine time to wrap it up.
So stupid! I'll never be PRO game journalist if I keep finishing my games!!
First off, the major big benefit of playing the one and only rhythm game based on IA Vocaloid is that all the songs are totally new with nothing recycling from previous games (there aren't any duh). I have to give major props to the nice selection of songs included within the game (gasp!) and the professional quality unlike the ParaPhray amateurs with Megpoid. As the title implies, the UI and gameplay are very colorful and pleasant to the eyes.
Of course there's DLC. 300 yen per song with no set discount?! Pfft, skip.
The songs and PVs are all good, including some really musically interesting (aka weird) tracks such as Chiri Chiri Juso. I really liked the songs by out of survice and Party Party was also pretty catchy just to highlight a few. All in all, the tracks were solid and I have to say some of the animation on a couple of PVs were outstanding.
Good shit, I watched this in PV mode at least 3 times
However, one minor downside is that this game was not as fun as the Diva games in terms of playing around with costumes and accessories. First of all, only a smaller selection of songs support costumes (no accessories) and it just wasn't as fun to play dress up. Also, there are no mini games or having to spend hours to get a stupid goddamn cuckoo clock. That's a good thing if you didn't get my drift. In fact, I'm not even sure why you have to go to the items menu to "get" your costumes after they unlock because you don't need any sorts of points to get em.
No Diva points to grind here and most importantly no fucking patty cake.
In terms of the gameplay, I found that the difficulty was very fair. The double presses are always parallel eg up+triangle, left+square so the platinum is very doable for those comfortable with the genre. The only tricky parts are some of step up plays on hard mode. The random mode is the only way you get double key press that don't match and that can get quite confusing. I was not able to finish all the steps because of the 10 star difficulty with hidden notes on STEP 21. I might be able to do it with a lot of practice but it's not required for the platinum so I didn't feel like it.
DJMax veterens be like, "Is this a joke?"
Score: 3.5 now, can somebody PLEASE make a decent GUMI game?? out of 5 (37 hours for platinum)
Add another solid title for the Vita as one of if not the best handheld console for rhythm games. I thoroughly enjoyed this little "hidden gem" from Marvelous. Now, Diva F 2nd is totally a better game in many ways but since it has all those songs from the PSP titles, I gave this one the same score for being totally fresh. I don't know a lot of IA songs but I can see myself becoming a fan. Unfortunately, there doesn't seem to be any sort of sequel in the works but one can hope.
As an aside, this game is rated Cero C with a needle icon likely due to just one song. Boy, those Japanese sure are sensitive about drugs. Oh I know! Let's rip IA from all media works as punishment! (RIP Judge Eyes Pierre)
Another favorite track of mine though it has drugs. #Boycott!
Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely
Continuing my public service to the internet by providing witty prose about Japanese only games that no other English speaking person in his/her/popular-gender-neutral-pronoun right mind would play, here's part 1 of Iriya no Sora, UFO no Natsu. Fucking finally! I managed to slog, mostly half asleep, through this game, part of DS Dengeki Bunko series aka "oh wouldn't it be cool if the DS was like an ebook reader?" (The answer: not really.)
Kindle? Pfft, not nearly enough moe
While I normally play all my DS games on my New (not actually new) 3DS LL (Jhipster for XL), for games in TATE mode, the heavier model puts too much strain on my delicate gamer wrists so I usually bust out my regular 3DS for these occasions. For those not up on gamer terms, TATE is the weeb term for vertical screen（縦画面）primarily for shooters or shmups as the expert Youtube "gamers" (hoarders) call em. Speaking of shooters, this game comes with one in the form of a mini game that uses the touch pen to target enemies.
Extra weeb cringe if you pronounce TATE like Tater tots.
It was ok, about as good as you'd expect for a mini game hidden in a sound novel. I wouldn't exactly rave about it as some awesome shmup "hidden" gem to BUY NOW BEFORE PRICES SKYROCKET!! Or actually maybe I'll do exactly that as I'm looking to purge this one out of the collection. Anybody want my copy for the super fair price of $99.99?
There's also an annoying quiz mini game with questions about the story. Making even ONE mistake requires you to start over and while you can skip 5 questions they come back around again basically requiring you to memorize every single question anyway. Getting a 100% perfect completion is a fucking ordeal but it unlocks an extra side chapter. I know this because I played through the stupid quiz more times than I'm willing to admit to do a perfect run.
I actually read the whole thing and completed this quiz. Yes, I have no life.
All of the mini games are unlocked by finding cards that are hidden by tapping certain words of interest in the story. The cards naturally can be used for a card battle game that apparently supports up to 4 player multiplayer competition action. I would guess that 4 people with 4 copies of this game unlocked all the cards and got together to play against each other probably exactly zero times in this universe.
As for the meat of the game, which is the book, you can read it for yourself free, provided you're fluent in Japanese of course. I did like the artwork which is primarily the reason why I bought this game in the first place (yeeaah, I need to stop buying shit based on the cover). Unfortunately, the music and sound effects are unremarkable and totally forgettable. In fact, I forgot about them already.
I should've checked Metacritic first (pfft, ya right)
While the reviews are pretty good overall, personally this story was just not for me. It was perhaps too slow paced or maybe a bit too unrealistic for my tastes. I don't know what it is but it did serve as an excellent way for me to knock myself to sleep faster than popping some Benadryl. I really wouldn't recommend this one unless you want to waste 20 hours of your life. Or you can just watch the OVA anime through the magic of Youtube. (Content ID so totally legal, right?) In the end, I really regret wasting my time on this... Alrightly then, onto part 2!!
I'm not sure if I was awake the whole 18 hours...
Score: 2.0 but does it support TATER tot mode?? out of 5 (18 hours to complete)
Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely
I know almost nothing about the Leaf brand of games because it's smut which I abhor but from what I can gather, they started out with a Mahjong trash smut game on the PC-88 and followed it up with a trash garbage smut RPG after which, they released three heathen trash garbage barf filth visual novels called the Leaf Visual Novel Series.
RPG with memorable cast such as DURK BOLT, who also moonlights as pool cleaner and pizza delivery boy
Of course, I have no idea what most of these games are about and I wasn't able to find any screenshots probably because they were ignored by the wholesome internet community due to the filthy contents. As we all know, the internet HATES porn.
Girls from the Shizuku remake; I have no idea how this image got here.
All three games in the series were later remade with better graphics, full voice, and some with new characters, more endings etc. but unfortunately the first two games Shizuku and Kizuato are PC fap machine only. I avoided looking up anything about them in the fear that I might get inadvertently contaminated. Fortunately, ToHeart, the third entry was cleaned up for the holy rays "Oh Lord, please save us from sins of the flesh" Purestation.
I'm sure God will approve (or your diety of choice)
I'm afraid to say I had actually owned 3 copies of this game at one time until I purged my PS1 copy. Now, I only have the PS2 mega box and PSP limited edition exclusive UMD disc. Whew! Glad for the extra space!
No I don't have Trump tiny hands, this is actually the size of two PS2 games
While I know nothing about the first two games, Sizuku was kinda stupid with the whole denpa sex waves thing and at the same time extremely violent. Kizuato was also very dark and violent but it had a story line that seemed simple at first but actually had many hidden layers. In this game, I guess they were trying to go with something more cheerful and light-hearted or whatever but really it's just about the most vanilla, generic galge you can imagine. Like if DDLC was actually the game it pretends to be in the beginning but add a bunch more girls and you essentially have ToHeart. I could give it some slack if it was the first of its kind for innovation or whatever but no, it came out in 1997.
As dumb as Shizuku was, the music was not bad at all
I don't know if they were trying to ride the simulation Tokimeki/Sotsugyou bandwagon but going through each day of the calendar made the first run slightly more boring than watching grass grow. I'm actually impressed at how many ways they were able to describe getting out of bed, brushing your teeth, getting ready to go to school, etc. The all-ages remake is a lot better than the original 18+ version as it has auto mode but it's still mostly the same game except for a bunch of mini games inside the game. The shooting mini game is actually pretty good but I just wish you could skip it when you replay for all the numerous girls' endings.
Not bad for a game in a game
Once you reach one ending, you can skip all the daily routines (Thank the Lord!) and just go through picking the same girl at one of the 4 locations. The funniest route is definitely Remi due to her crazy American dad that carries a gun inside the house with live ammunition. The characters in this game definitely have a funny image of America probably based on the writer's impressions. After all, there normally aren't any car chases except that one time a car flipped over running away from the cops next to my house. And it's not like Americans all walk around carrying guns and firing them all over the place like fucking idiots... Ok... yeah... I guess it's pretty accurate after all. #ColdDeadHands
No real father would walk around with a dangerous rifle near children (looks up gun death statistics...) Oh.
Overall, I'm glad to be finally done with this yawn borefest. You would think in a setting with fully autonomous maid robots and psychic powers, things would be a little more interesting but nope. The only highlight is the voice acting and 90s anime nostalgia theme songs. My favorite girl was Rio just because she sounded cute. The various radio segments were cool too and bonus Jhipster points as it's not scripted and require near native listening comprehension (yours truly).
Needs more holy rays for the naked shoulders IMO
Score: 2 maybe the original sex scenes would have spiced it up but I guess we'll never know out of 5
While I'll never play the 18+ PC version, I can't help but wonder if Multi and other maid robots have you know... all the parts... for umm... various "functions".
All I could find of the PC version, you have idea how hard it is to find porn on the internet!
Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely
Right after I finished Diva f (lower case "f" for Vita version), I was on some kind of Miku high and played the sequel pretty much non-stop for 2 weeks straight though I guess I did pop it in probably the day I bought it like 3 years ago (#hoarder).
This is what my actual weeb room looks like. Yes, I'm also blonde American wearing yukata everyday.
The first song that popped up was freakin' Melt (again?!) along with 105 pieces of DLC on PSN which pretty much puts the final nail in the coffin of the DLC-free gaming golden age. So things weren't looking too good from the get-go and my fears were confirmed as the song list features lots of repeats from the PSP games.
Firmly in the DLC fuck-me-in-the-ass era
Fortunately, it's not nearly as bad as the wholesale recycling they did on Diva 2nd and Diva 2nd Extend and none of the songs from Diva f are reused. So if you're one of those new kids who never played on the PSP, all the songs will appear new to you. Marketing would probably even call it a remake of the classics with enhanced graphics and gameplay. After all, they brought back all the popular songs such as World is Mine (for the 3rd time but who's counting?) and even made completely new videos for some of them.
Of course, for me, as a veteren of the series, it's a bit of a disappointment especially since there's been a new Miku song released every day except one for the first 10 years of her existence so there should have been plenty of new songs to choose from. At least they brought back my favorite from Diva Extend Musunde Hiraite and even added more eyes cause MORE IS BETTER.
Not as scary now after playing this song for 20 times+
It's still a good set as they picked out only the good songs from the PSP era and added a few new songs I really liked. At the very least, there is now almost no reason to buy Dreamy Theater for any of the PSP games given how overpriced they are and with the weird requirement of having to prove you own the PSP version, the first one actually requiring you to plug in your PSP!
PSP "classics" now in full HD glory!
The other nice tradition they continued is automatically unlocking all the modules you already purchased (using diva points) from the previous game. Despite the large list of DLC, the game comes with a number of great looking modules ("for free") combined with all the modules from Diva f. My personal favorite was "Bless You" followed closely by "Heart Hunter" and "Honey Whip" cause garter belts #hentai #loser.
Some of my favorite songs in this game were Hello, Worker and Knife. I was especially impressed that they changed the little picture on the character's resume in Hello, Worker depending on which character you pick. This kind of attention to minor detail is what gets me hard... err I mean "inspired".
Of course, you can use the matching Luka module with suit+tie but this is how I dress at work #MericanBlond
Another awesome new song was Kagerou Days because if you get the Chance Time at the beginning of the song, you get a TOTALLY NEW video. That was pretty cool and I wish they do that with more songs going forward. Overall, I was quite satisfied with the volume of content given that I paid $25 for a used copy #cheapogamer.
The weird cone shape is actually fancy gelato, I saw it in Sunshine City. Miku is so hipster!
As for the gameplay, I'm by no means a professional musician but I play a pretty mean sax and terrible at the piano. I can pretty much only play Moonlight Sonata (the first movement only of course, or as music snobs will tell you Op.27 No.2 Mov.1, cause Mov.3 is a clusterfuck). Anyway, I'm just trying to say I dabble in the musical arts and I know I'm repeating myself when I say that Project DIVA is not exactly the best series of rhythm games. And yet for some reason, I can't stop playing them and DIVA F 2nd is probably the most "rhythm-y" game in the series so far.
I didn't try playing the same keys as the PV but they look legit to me.
I usually turn off the sound effects because they are not part of the music (DJMax shoutout!) but this time, they introduced different sounds for each mechanic and I really liked that satisfactory long note pop, like the one they had for Project Mirai on the 3DS.
Try dem graphics on the 3DS. You suck Nintendy! #consolewhore
Besides the skins (DLC cash in) and challenge items, the only major gameplay change is they took the star "scratch" mechanic to the next level, introducing "W" double scratch and these really annoying connected stars that are hard to time unless you remember how it matches the music. I mentioned that the whole touch mechanic in the previous game didn't really bother me as it was an easy way to rack up points. Well, this time, I had weird issues where my swipe didn't take and I actually ended up using two fingers just in case. Meh.
Freakin' stars, you're blocking my view!!
Now that we talked about the main game, it's time to dive into the goddamn trophies. I fully understand that riajuu who only play games as a recreational activity to have fun (whoa, crazy concept!) probably don't give two shits about trophies. If you're one of these sickening people probably with friends IRL or god forbid, in a relationship, the story ends here.
Ofc there's a riajuu app. There's an app for everything now
But if you're a "REAL" gamer or alternatively, a cheap bastard who wants to make sure she's getting full value from the enormous amounts of money she wastes on an unhealthy game hoarding habit (hypothetically speaking of course), then it's time for me to talk about the Diva Room and the FUCKING clock.
Fuck you Sega, respect my time!
The Diva room was a fun distraction in Diva f from the main point of fucking playing the rhythm game. At no point did I ever think, "oh I hope they REALLY beef up the Diva Room features instead of oh I dunno, adding more new songs?" and yet here we are. You can't just rub heads until they're satisfied anymore, you have to stop just before this new heart meter breaks. You can't just shower your Divas with presents, you have to wait in game time (so just coming back later does nothing). Oh, was unlocking random calligraphy and sketch events annoying? Let's add a whole bunch more random item events and change it so you can't repeatedly give the same present to make it EXTRA time consuming, yay!
There's a 50% chance of getting this event. Ya having fun yet?!
The final fucking straw was the goddamn clock, which requires accepting 78, SEVENTY FUCKIN EIGHT requests. Say hello to hours of head rubbing, presents, waiting (in game time), and fucking patty cake after patty cake as you grind your way to your fucking precious trophy, ya loser.
If you're worried about memorizing patty cake, let me assure you, you'll fucking memorize it
If you noticed that this blog post seems to have a lot more screenshots than usual, well, it's because I was fucking waiting for the next head rub or present, jumping from room to room to room, again and again.
Score: 3.5 Couldn't find any panchira this time but I hope a SJW investigates to see if there's any camel-toe textures like PUBG out of 5 (51 hours for platinum)
In the end, if you don't care about trophies and especially if you skipped all the PSP games, this is probably the best Diva game in the series so far. It's so fun to play around with the modules and accessories and while the scratch swipe was a bit annoying, I got used to it. You can also configure scratch to use analog to match the PS3 but I found it was not sensitive enough for me.
Glad I don't work with her, sexual harassment waiting to happen
I will be sad when I run out of Project Diva games to play so I'll probably take a break for a while. Maybe I'll play some of the other Vocaloid games that came out around this period.
I got a lot of these fucking screenshots while rubbing head so here ya go.
This might explain the Cero C rating but then why was it B on the PSP? #Localization
I'll troubleshoot your computer problems ANY time
Can't think of a clever caption here cause all the blood for my brain went uh somewhere "else"
Yeah, so this game is pretty much a Dark Souls ripoff but with music
If they ever make the swimsuits DLC, I'm gonna fucking boycott #entitled
Thankfully, the cat ears are NOT DLC
This is when Miku becomes a god in our alternate timeline
How I feel when I get a PERFECT
This rainbow skin requires clearing a song with each character 50 times which was annoying cause fuck Kaito.
You can see many pantsu in edit mode *wink wink*
No, I didn't buy these skins. It was free at one time. Sorry if you missed out!
Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely
