P.T.

This is probably going to be the first and only post I do on a demo but P.T. is pretty special in a couple of unfortunate ways, the primary one being that we'll likely never see the full game. Yeah #FuckKonami and all that.

The assholes of course also completely wiped the demo from PSN. In fact, P.T. is the only reason I bought a first revision console. I normally wait a few models for the various improvements before buying a console. If it wasn't for P.T., I would probably own a PS4 Pro or maybe I'd be waiting for the PS5 since it's supposedly backwards compatible. But when I heard that the game was getting pulled, I went out and bought the damn console that day. It was actually already unavailable in the US region but fortunately, I managed to snag a copy on JP PSN.

Nice looking "free" demo, you just need a $399 console!

So, I had this thing sitting on my PS4 since then, and I played it here and there for brief periods of time over the years because yes, it's scary as fuck.

I guess it's not that bad playing in broad daylight but naw, I played with headphones alone in the dark of course. The sound effects are so good with headphones.

Silent Hill is an English series but I went with the Jhipster subtitles

Hideo Kojima is well known for fucking with you. My first experience was hours wasted trying to kill Psycho Mantis before resorting to looking up the 2nd player trick. My next WTF was the Metal Gear Rising PS3 theme. It had the typical cool wallpaper with Raiden when one day, my PS3 booted up to some moe shit. Ha ha funny Hideo, lucky my wife didn't see it. (That is if I had a wife.)

Anyway, I was playing one day, and paused the game as I was scared as fuck as usual and all of a sudden it started saying some satanic sounding shit from the pause menu! Holy fuck, that freaked me out.

I hate it when my lunch leaks. Nice idea to count how often on the wall!

Anyways, I've been playing P.T. for a while before I finally decided to finish it recently. I didn't get stuck until the part with all the paintings with rolling eyes and shit. Eventually, I had to look up the solution with the bathroom peeping hole. Also, the final bit with the three baby laughs...

I think I see something in the hole but I don't want to know what.

This demo is pretty short once you know what to do and it was definitely less scary on a 2nd playthrough but I took it nice and slow the first time. If anything, it's a great substitute for coffee if you want to stay awake.

Score: 3.5 fuck this game, how the hell am I going to go to sleep now?! out of 4

As a demo, I would rate this one as 5. I mean it was "free" (finger quotes), scary as hell, and really made everybody hyped for a new Silent Hill game. But I don't really have a rating system for demos. As a game, it would give this a solid 3.5 above average score for all the cool things it does even if you're really just roaming the same hallway repeatedly in a loop.

Hey, it's a million times better than roaming a whole house in Gone Home. Seriously, fuck that hipster game.

Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely

Final Fantasy XV（ファイナルファンタジーXV）

Well, here we are, Final Fantasy goddamn FIFTEEN, 29 years into the series. We are halfway to the point where Squeenix will probably need to avoid roman numerals for 30. That'll make searching on google about the game a bit... tricky to say the least. But I really do hope they make 16, 17, and so on instead of fucking with it like all the other companies eg "Final Fantasy One X1 Pro" or god forbid just "Final Fantasy".

Cindy will have a cameo in FF XXX in hologram form

I bought this over 2 years ago used for about $25 so I don't have any of the DLC. I usually try to wait for the inevitable GOTY version but I got suckered in early with the Assassin's Creed limited time quest. It was pretty fun and even had parkour gameplay that's not part of the regular game. I did miss the Moogle Chocobo Carnival event but whatever, who cares.

I'm guessing not available on Stadia (cause didn't buy that shit)

I still remember the FF13 Versus trailer oh so many years ago. I'm not even gonna google how long ago that shit was cause it'll just make me feel old as fuck (again). But yeah, what is there to talk about that hasn't already been said? Do I want to go into the whole Cup Noodle thing? Or talk about the movie/anime/DLC multimedia franchise approach to the story? I'm sure all the "pro" gamer sites have all that covered so let's just fucking talk about the game.

The GEICO collab ad campaign

You have to hand it to the Square part of Squeenix, if there's anything consistent about them, it's that they like to change things up. FF15 is unlike any game I've played before. It's a virtual road trip, instagraming, cooking game with your male buddies with no BL elements whatsoever.

Chicks love guys that can cook (if you look like Ignis that is)

I guess I can talk about the battle system which was ok I suppose. There were a few places where the monsters seemed to be over powered especially in the last chapter but I just learned to avoid them. The economy is also kind of broken as you can bungle your way through with Elixirs. Mostly I just spammed attack and it's a mainstream game so you'll get through it without a great deal of effort. Magic is completely useless this time around as you have to craft like 3 at a time, they hurt your own party more often than not, and the cool off period is incredibly long. But really, is FF15 a fantasy game about defeating evil, fighting bad guys, and watching a story unfold in an interactive entertainment medium? Nah.

Menudo with Curry and Nan??? Hmm, I have a hipster food truck idea...

Like I said, FF15 is all about taking photos with your pals, taking photos of your food, bugging Ignis about his can coffee while you cruise, and camping out with Coleman gear. I dunno if I would call it a fun game but it was certainly interesting and to a certain extent relaxing. Sometimes, I would let Ignis drive and I would kill time reading something on my phone in the real world. Other times, I would try to use fast travel but it's not fucking fast at all.

I'm sure this will be fixed on PS5 remastered GOTY re-milk edition

The photo algorithm they implemented seems pretty ingenious. For example, at the end, when you pick your favorite photo, I picked one with Iris and her bother was like, "uhh ok... should I be concerned?" So obviously, there's some logic in there to know that she was in the photo. It also made the ending just really funny. I giggled at least. Yeah, I have a weird sense of humor.

I will choose imouto everytime, anybody's imouto will do.

I put in about 70 hours for the Platinum, the last 10 or so spent mostly fishing and trying to make that special soup to kill the mountain. I'm not sure how many of the 70 hours were spent multitasking while cruising around, etc. For us Americans, if you're going crazy from all this winning while being trapped in the house, this might be the game for you. (#MAGA 2020! aka "let's fuck ourselves for another 4 years")

Who needs real life when you can catch 91 kilograms of fish from home?

Score: 4 Going outside? Pfft, over rated. out of 5 (70 hours for platinum, 48 hours to beat)

This game by all measures is a solid above-average 3.5 game. It was pretty fun, the graphics are amazing but the story is a bit weak. However, I'm going on a whim here and giving it a 4 great game score mostly because I appreciate that Squeenix is still around to make big budget Japanese RPGs. Sure, you can't pan to the bottom to see Iris's underwear in gallery mode but at least it's not trying to shove whatever social message is trending these days in your face. (I can't wait to pre-order Beyond Good and Evil 2 #sarcasm!)

I'm assuming there's a PC mod to get full 360' camera control

At the very least, despite the weak story being spread out over a film, anime, and I assume DLC, I really enjoyed the ending. There's nothing like a set of Coleman logo camping chairs to get you invested into the characters. (Please click on my Coleman affiliate links to support the site!)

Don't those Coleman chairs look so comfortable? Buy yours today!

More screenshots to compare resolution pixels with Stadia since I will be reviewing it once I become pro gamer reviewer and get free shit... one day.

29 years of technical advancements right here

Don't you just hate the idiots that try to compute at the pump?

The 2016 version of fan service, properly masculine and assertive. Oh how far we've fallen.

Ironically this collab mission is still playable while Terra Wars lasted all of 176 days.

Better IMO than Asscreed 3, I would stop playing AC but they keep giving me free copies!

Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely

Undertale

I learned not to get swept up by internet hype especially since I STILL regret paying even a single cent for "oh look at me cover all the hipster selling points" indie title Gone Home. But as even my nephew recommended it, I guess I had to try Undertale at some point especially since I live in my sister's basement for free #MillennialMinimalistGamer.

What my room looks like minus piles of games, empty dew cans and hentai wall scrolls.

I decided to get this one on (my sister's) Switch during the recent #BLACKFRIDAYKILLERDEALSCLICKNOW!!!! even though I would have preferred to play this on the Vita. I skipped the Vita because digital games are region locked and I didn't want to waste the money and space on a physical copy. I'm not a weeb so I really didn't want to play this in Japanese and cringe at how they tried to translate all the stupid puns nor did I want to have to reset my Vita to NA region. The Switch version miraculously has no region restrictions and even comes with both languages. I'm sure glad I went the English route because the JP version doesn't look like it uses any Kanji. I guess what was an unfortunate technical restriction from the Famicon days is now some sort of weird hipster retro fashion statement. Fuck off.

Speaking of ぎじゅつ, have you heard of fucking Unicode?

Even in English, I noticed a weird usage of singular "they" to refer to the Player, which in our time was a sentence agreement grammar error. I thought it was an easy problem to fix by asking your gender but then I remembered nowadays that would be a PC nightmare with whatever popular genders youngers are identifying with this week. So yeah, I guess they don't have to worry about grammar no more and by "they", I was referring to me. So should I start talking about the game or finish off with another round of old man ramblings?

I feel like every indie game I played has at least one picturesque, scenic road. +1 hipster point?

Given how hyped this game is for reasons I cannot fathom except I guess not everybody has played 30 years of masterpieces that were never translated to English, the question is not if this game is overrated but by how much. After all, DDLC pretty much lived up to the hype for me so miracles do happen. Well, I'm happy to report that Undertale is only very mildly overrated. Unlike other shit hipster titles, this game actually has some substance and is even fun to play. The combat system is challenging and the music is really good all around.

The entire OST is good, which is quite a feat.

As for the story, it was pretty good and yes, I'd hate to say it but for the hipsters, it does have that Mother 3 vibe. I don't know if Toby played Mother but I wish he could have at least added a dash option like Mother 3.

I thought this was gonna be a place for some revelation but no, it's just where the boat takes you back.

To see the true ending, you do have to play the game twice but it's not that much of a chore since the game is pretty short. The characters were charming enough that I did feel bad about deleting the game but hey, what are their lives compared to the extra space so nephew can play the next trendy game?

Not everybody made it in my first playthrough (sorry lesser 🐕)

I think the story had potential to make this a 4 great game but I didn't quite get the narrative about the Player. I don't want to go into spoilers but yeah, I don't understand the reason for why you were still there.

Overall, it was a good game but I'm still glad I didn't waste my money on an overpriced physical copy. At least it's not published by Super Limited "you might need to suck some dick to get a copy" hipster publisher.


Score 3.5 out of 5 (played maybe around 5-15 hours even though the Switch knows the actual FUCKING number and no I'm not going to install stupid parental control app just for record of hours played)

I might have gone for a 3rd playthrough to complete the trophies but oh, Switch doesn't have trophies. How am I going to know I'm fully enjoying a game without trophies? And also, the Switch is fucking heavy to play in bed, portable my ass. Oh I guess I was supposed to stand it up and play with my (non-existent) friends IRL during a trendy party on my urban roof? Thanks Nintendo for making me feel inadequate. Ok, that's it for my mini Switch rant, sorry.


Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely

Yahari Game demo Ore no Seishun Rabu Kome wa Machigatteiru.（やはりゲームでも俺の青春ラブコメはまちがっている。）

Despite the fact that I appear to be a super professional expert of Japanese ADV games, I'm actually relatively new to the genre. After all, it took a bit a time to become a fully fluent, college reading level master of Japanese-foo moon symbols and all that jazz. Also it helps that the "pros" at IGNorant, Shitaku, PolySJW, etc. have as much knowledge as well... a room full of communication and media studies majors, which actually pretty much explains everything.

My master's thesis: "Protesting the tyranny of the graduate thesis patriarchy by submitting a single misogynistic image"

I kind of got off track (once again) but what I was trying to say is Yahari Game demo Ore no Seishun Rabu Kome wa Machigatteiru. aka Oregairu aka Hamachi aka blah blah SNAFU oh look at my creative writing degree! is the first light novel → anime → "interactive medium" adaptation ADV game I've played. Sure, I have a pile of oreimo, haganai, sakurasou no pet, etc. etc. in my Closet of Shame™ gathering dust but god forbid I actually try to play my shit. Nope, I'd rather boot up a digital PSN game in my never ending quest to make room on my tiny Vita memory card (FU Sony). I got it on a PSN "sale" (#broke) but fortunately, you can now get both this game and the sequel on the PS4 for the amazing price of $80! (TODO: add affiliate link for $$$).

If you want to see this CG without the text, you'll have to buy it yourself (or YT I guess)

I have to say, for my first "licensed" game, I was quite impressed at the quality and volume of content. I haven't read the light novels but I did watch both seasons of the anime and it was ok, I suppose. Honestly, it was so long ago I forgot most of it but I did appreciate that it wasn't another typical harem dry hump orgy like nisekoi, haganai, oreimo, SAO (barf), etc., etc., etc.

Maybe I should become an anime critique (#jk #NotALoser)

The story in this game takes place during summer break and of course you have your usual heroine routes with Yukinon and Yuigahama. For some odd reason, I found Yuigahama's voice annoying even though Kujou Karen from Kinmoza is one of fav characters of all-time. In fact, I would marry Naochan in a second if given the chance.

Fuck Yuigahama, where's Nao's route??

Anyway blah blah, more of the same shit as the anime. The REAL highlight of this game are the characters that didn't get much air time due to being a trap or not being in the same school (you're too old for junior high). Yes, it's back. IMOOOOUTO TAIMUUU! Nothing like JC (don't Google Japan that) incest action to- wait, who's banging on the door?!

Just to be clear, this is not from the game.

So yeah, if you liked Komachi and thought you wanted to see more of her than her brief scenes from the first season, this game is for you. You can enjoy living vicariously through an anime loner boy hanging out at home during summer break waking up your imouto for breakfast. #BUYNOW!!

Imouto "tehe" (≧▽≦)ゞ in PJs, what more can you ask for?

Or if you're into traps, funny enough but Totsuka is one of the Heroine routes and he has the most complicated route with the most CGs. Unfortunately, the scenario writer (and original author) kept things consistent and didn't take the non-canon ending chance for some real BL, which seems like a missed opportunity... if you're into that shit I mean, which I'm totally NOT! #120%Straight

Unfortunately, the game doesn't take it to the next level

I also appreciated that Hachiman was voiced as well since I'm American and get a severe allergic reaction to BIGLY words. I'm not one of those creepos who needs a silent protagonist to immerse themselves into the game so it didn't bother me one bit. Pretty much everything is voiced which is great for multitask audio drama style play except oddly for his lines in the silence breaker sections. This is a section where you have to pick certain lines to increase or decrease the heart meter within a certain number of tries featuring Live2D fancy graphics.

Jesus, enough with the fucking teasing!

You have to fail and succeed all of these for a couple trophies so it's kind of a pain in the butt. In fact, getting platinum on this game is nigh impossible without a guide IMO. While I was easily able to unlock all the endings and collect most of the CGs, to get every type of mail involved things like raising Totsuka's flag, leaving Yuigahama's dog Sable with Yukinon, fail a silence break with her and then take Sable for a walk with both Totsuka and Yukinon.

Ahh Subject: Re4 the good ol days before all this line stamp shit.

In fact, even the trophy whores on psnprofiles took at least 3 hours to waste their money for a fucking trophy. If you think about these people staring at their Vita for that whole time, skipping text, and selecting dialogue options without reading them, you can kind of get a sense of how fucking loser they are. For the record, I took my time enjoying the content off and on for over a year and 7 months so I'm totally NOT a loser.

Thanks imouto for the plat!!!

Score: 3.5 unfortunately, there is no Kinmoza game so you'll just have settle for this ten hour video out of 5

I would buy a Kinmoza game for reals

All in all, if you liked the anime and want to see more of it, in particular Komachi or Totsuka, you can't go wrong with this one. The story is more of the same, it's polished, and there's a lot of content for your Oregairu fix (you have a weird addiction).



Additional screenshots for the Imouto museum.

Oh hell yeah, I would post the CG after she strips but well, why don't you buy it yourself via my affiliate link? (TODO: add link to fund game hoarding habit)

Ah, the old "maybe we're not related so not incest?" imouto route trick

Uh oh... what's going on down there?

Totsuka has the most CGs to unlock (#TRAP)

I just want to know for sure if there's a penis or not. The public deserves to know! #TruthMatters

Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely

Shiin（死印）

Shiin is one of my insta-order games based purely on the cover art. Yeah, I'm still a sucker that way but as a big fan of horror games, how could I resist? I was even stupid enough to pre-order the PS4 version just for the extra goodies. I really should cancel that but then what about that 25 minute voice track CD?

There's one born every minute

As much as I love every horror game, especially on the Vita, I have to say this one was ultimately a disappointment. Given that it's by EXPERIENCE, you might expect this to be some kind of DRPG with horror elements. While I didn't expect quite that much, I was hoping for something at least with some exploration.

Your stats like the cake are a lie

If you've played Corpse Party: Book of Shadows, the gameplay is very similar to that game. There's a few rooms, hallways, and the like but that's about it. You move your flashlight around and investigate stuff. You can also pick an item to use from your backpack. Sometimes you have to make choices called Deadly Choice where you will die if you make too many wrong choices. No biggie because you can pick retry and try again though you may have to skip some text. That was a bit annoying.

 Need a hand? Haw haw haw haw!

The one unique part of this game is the boss fight at the end of each chapter. Given the clues that you pick up in your investigation, you have to pick the correct items to use every turn. However, it's nothing more than making educated guesses given the clues and retry if you don't pick the right items.

If this game is not a DRPG at all, it's not even a great ADV game. While Book of Shadows has its flaws, at least it had some character development and voice acting. I liked the fact that this game had characters of every age and gender and no qualms about killing any of them if you make the wrong choices. But there's almost no voice acting and very little dialogue. In fact, the entire game is very short and I beat it in a little over 10 hours while taking my time.

Think of the children!!!!

Thankfully, they released a new chapter that was free for a limited time and also included in the PS4 version. Since I was all up in the latest gaming news, I was able to nab it right away but the free download period is already over for the Vita version. (Sorry, fellow Jhipsters.) With the new chapter, I was able to enjoy the game for a few more hours and frankly it sorely needed that extra content.

Score: 2.5 oh I forgot to mention all those naked women in the game out of 5 (14 hours to beat)

Even ghosts have the decency to cover the important bits

In the end, despite the short length and all its flaws, I enjoyed the game. It has some great art that oozes with atmosphere. The story while minimal, at least had a satisfactory ending. And while the music lacked variety, the songs that it did have were excellent. The game was not that scary either so it might be a good one to try for those easily spooked.


Good music but apparently not in the CD soundtrack (LOL first comment)
The downloadable last chapter also hints at a new aberration so perhaps there's a sequel on the way. I hope EXPERIENCE can use this first entry as a starting point to a more fulfilling series. I appreciate they tried something new but would hope they do a more thorough job the next time around.

Hey, you girls see my wallet? My money vanished like a ghost!

Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely

In search of GOTY for 2017

So in general I try to keep an open mind which is why all my GOTY posts are prefaced with "In search of". However, my current GOTY for this year is so strong, I highly doubt that I will find another game to top it despite the fact that I've so far played a total of about 3 games released in 2017 and beaten only one.

Is it the obvious choice: Persona 5? No stupid, this is a Jhipster blog and Persona 5 came out in 2016. Anybody following me on Twitter (the 2 people) could probably guess what my GOTY is and drum roll....

DJMax Respect

The DJMax portable series is my favorite rhythm game series but I've never written about them here because I usually like to finish a game before I post about it. For rhythm games, I like to at least clear all songs on the highest difficulty barring one or two that's clearly there to be nigh impossible. But holy shit, the best I can do on DJMax is 6-button mode on normal difficulty. 8-button mode and extreme difficulty is beyond what I would consider to be human levels of skill.

This isn't even that hard but in my defense, it's been years and I'm rusty.

DJMax Respect is, no question, the pinnacle of the DJMax series. Though I usually prefer portable systems for rhythm games, I'm actually glad this was on the PS4 instead of the shitty Vita baby buttons AKA the "thumb killer". And don't even get me started on the "when is this going to be on Switch" whiners. I was worried about lag but I've had zero issues even with wireless headphones and wireless controllers. Anyway, one day I'll do a full write-up of the whole series. For now, suffice it to say, this game is fucking awesome.

Fuck YEEEAAAAAH!!!

Other games I tried

Doki Doki Literature Club!
A great indie title, highly recommended (it's FREEEEE!!!) but it's in English... and cupcake is not really a thing to bring to school in Japan at least as far as I'm aware...

Games I plan to try later

Too many to list...

Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely

Kairisei Million Arthur（乖離性ミリオンアーサー）

Let me tell you a story about a foolish gamer who for some reason no sane individual can surmise decided to go about collecting all the trophies for Karisei Million Shits Arthur. He got all the way up to the last gold trophy which involves collecting 100 yes ONE HUNDRED Ultra Rare cards. He gave up on this stupidly repetitive task for many months until a collaboration event with Peach Beach Splash gave out 5 ultra rare cards with 20 名声, the equivalent of 100 identical cards. Giddy with excitement and disbelief he laughed at the fools for essentially giving away the gold trophy. Without hesitation, he went ahead and maxed out by combining all 5 cards but alas no trophy??!!

The tragic folly and downfall of a foolish gamer

With a pounding heart and shaking hands, he looked at the card details to discover to his shock and dismay that it had only gone up to 90 instead of 100. The fucking UI only said MAX so he had forgotten he needed to max out the level of one of the 5 cards FIRST, then evolve it to Million Rare, and THEN combine the other cards as Ultra Rare cards only have a max of 90 名声. Screaming in frustration and anger, this foolish gamer, instead of deleting this piling heap of garbage, decided FUCK YOU SQUARE, I'm going to do this the hard way. He then proceeded to waste his life away for the next 10 days until he finally achieved his empty, meaningless, and pathetic goal.

The end result of a fool's quest and his loss of valuable time and life

Oh, and I think there's a game in there somewhere.

Score: 0 fuck you fuck you fuck you Square Enix out of 5.

Some of the cards have cool art, I'll give it that. But I think it's ridiculous they still haven't finished the main storyline 9 months after release. Whatever, the story is meh anyways. I DON'T CARE.

Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely