Tsugu no hi -Tozasareta Mirai-（つぐのひ ー閉ざされた未来ー）

Update

Oddly enough, this is the most viewed post on this blog and the old link to the game was dead so I updated it. The whole series of games are also now on this one convenient page as well: https://www.gamemaga.jp/tsugunohi/.

I will definitely try the latest Showa kara no Yobigoe so stay tuned!

Original Post

I was trying to play Blood Drive for Halloween but it's obvious I'm not gonna finish it any time soon (probably wasted too much time playing Majin Tensei), so here's a quick look at a dead (ha!) simple game that only takes 15 minutes or so to finish: Tsugu no hi -Tozasareta Mirai-, the latest in a series of freeware games so popular(?), it even spawned a movie.

JK and shoes, what more do you want?

The "gameplay" if you can call it that, consists of moving left until you get to the river. Apparently, things are not going as you'd hoped (you're a JK, isn't that good enough?!) and you decide to redo the day somehow.

Anyways, after repeating the walk a few times, there is a little bit of scary to enjoy especially with headphones. On the phone, it was a bit annoying that I couldn't hide the browser bar but I somehow managed to cope.

The ✋ woman! Worry about the ✋!

Score: 2 JK first world problems, cry me a river out of 5

Not much to say about this one except it's not the worst way to spend 15 or so minutes.

Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely

The Bouncer（バウンサー）

I'm going to try to keep this post short because it would be super ironic if I spend more time writing this blog post about The Bouncer than actually playing it. Long time readers might have guessed already but yes, I'm trying to make more room by getting rid of games I can finish quickly and boy was this one quick.

The story mode took me about 1.5 hours to complete and I was able to beat it twice more to see the other two endings in about 3 hours. I would have been pretty pissed if I bought this game at full price day 1 but I payed $5 a decade later so I didn't mind. To put things into perspective, this game came out the same year the PS2 was released. It feels like a tech demo and I'm sure Square was able to utilize the technology for later "real" games.

In 2000, I was barely subsisting on cup ramen not buying cutting edge games

I do remember watching an ad for FF10 somewhere in Japan and was totally blown away by the graphics. The cut-scenes in The Bouncer are pretty much on par with FF10 so I'm sure rich gamers would have been impressed at the time.

The gameplay was alright I suppose. Thankfully, it wasn't too hard except for this one really annoying escort mission with a ton of robots. Eventually, after a few tries, I just learned to run past most of the robots and gave up on getting all the exp points.

Thank god there's only one escort mission

There are even a few alternative scenes depending on which character you choose and of course, different ending for each of the 3 characters. I didn't play through every possible scene but I did play through it with each of the 3 characters and that was good enough for me.

The load times were fast which meant I could hardly read the character's back stories

While I suppose you might be able to extend game time by buying more controllers and playing with up to 3 other friends, there are much better fighting games. Of course, I have tons of friends but you know, it's tough to get together with the pandemic and all. Yes, let's pretend that's the reason why I always play single player games. (T_T;)

I should note that you can unlock and play as other characters from the game in Survival and Versus mode but whatever, I have better things to do. The credits music was pretty good at least. Oh yeah, and this game has both English and Japanese so if you switch the language before beating the game, you can get the English credit music as well. The English dub is pretty generic. Man, as usual, I don't know how non-Jhipsters can stand it. 

Better than Koda Kumi at least

Score: 2 didn't bother to spend time to come up with a witty comment here out of 5 (3 hours to beat)

Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely

EXTERMINATION（エクスターミネーション）

I wrote in an earlier post that I'm not getting any younger and that I should probably stop wasting time playing obscure and mediocre games with the time I have left before I kick the bucket. So what better way to listen to my own advice by playing EXTERMINATION for the PS2?

These little buggers are so annoying

To be fair, this is an early PS2 title and the first survival horror game on the console. If you consider that the PS2 was still fairly new at the time, the graphics are impressive compared to say the Biohazard series on the PS1. However, it's not 2001 anymore, and I'm assuming Biohazard 4 is way better. I dunno because for some reason I could never finish games in this genre. The only Biohazard game I was able to beat was 5 which is definitely NOT survival horror.

In that sense, I guess EXTERMINATION is a good starter game for people like me who can't handle a limited number of saves. In this game, as long as you can get to certain areas, you can recharge your battery and save as much as you want and even refill all your regular ammo. I also found the number of health packs were adequate to get through the game without too much difficulty. I did feel I was running a bit low for the last boss but was able to make it after a couple tries.

It's like a ribbon but rechargable! Technology!!

For a survival horror game, it's pretty low on the scare factor. You are exploring a base or lab or whatever near the South Pole that's being infected by some kind of bacteria. I dunno if it's just me but like Corpse Party: Blood Drive, I never found organic goop to be that scary.

Eww, did you try ingesting disinfectant or shining a flashlight on yourself?

The camera is pretty crappy typical of this era and you have to rely pretty heavily on the auto-aim to shoot. At the beginning, I was killing everything but then figured out that it was a waste of time. All the enemies just respawn so a couple hours in, I realized it was much faster and easier to just run around everything.

I beat this game in a little under 6 hours and was so glad when it was finally over. For such a short game, it felt pretty long. Basically, imagine about 4 hours of running around and dodging everything you see except for the occasional boss fight. Not only was the gameplay fundamentally pointless and flawed, the story was bad as well. Minor spoiler here but when you finally beat the game, you get friend zoned. WTF?!

Score: 2 I don't get the story. Why didn't he just wait for the bacteria to disappear one day like a miracle? That's totally a valid strategy! #MAGA (6 hours to beat)

Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely

Tantei Jinguji Saburou - Mikan no Rupo（探偵 神宮寺三郎 未完のルポ）

There was a story going around way back in the day about people waking up in a bathtub full of ice with a scar. I had no idea that organ theft was a thing before and it kind of freaked me out (as intended). Much later, I watched a movie called SPL 2 about organ theft. Well, I didn't actually watch it but I sure as hell watched the fight scenes a ton. (Max Zhang is so bad ass!)

Pretty much the only parts I watched

So why the hell am I talking about this in a post about a Jinguji game? I'd like to think I've played my fair share of detective ADV games. They may be about serial killers, criminal masterminds, or grand conspiracies. A bit of a spoiler warning here but this is probably the first "hard boiled" detective story I played about illegal immigration, unsafe working conditions, and harvesting umm "reusable assets". Sorry about the spoiler but honestly, how many of my 3 readers were actually planning on playing Mikan no Rupo? Don't worry, you're not missing out on much.

The game starts out with a pretty good opening sequence of a murder, pretty typical of this genre. This series came back after a long 6 year hiatus with quite a big leap in technology on the PS1 compared to its Famicom days. While most of the game is not voiced, there are few anime cutscenes with voiced dialogue. There are also a couple odd but brief 3D sections where you walk around talking to people. Finally, there's a pretty crude car chase minigame. Besides the brief dabble into I guess "cutting edge" PS1 technology, it's an ADV menu game just like the previous entries.

The copious smoking part at least is accurate

Odd coincidence but this game asks you to pick a character to play as, at different points during the game just like the last game I played, Jui. I'm not sure if I missed anything significant based on who I picked but just like Jui, I have no desire to play it again to see the differences.

I missed this part because I picked Yoko instead

Score: 2 lung cancers out of 5. Don't worry kids, smoking was totally healthy back in the 90s! (Disclaimer: This is absolutely not true.)

I dunno, I thought the game was alright even though it did put me to sleep quite a number of times. I mean literally fall asleep as I deliriously tried not to drop my PSP before the sweet embrace of sleep rendered me unconscious. To put it mildly, it was not as exciting as SPL 2 fight scenes. I already dumped my 1500 yen budget re-release copy of the game.

I honestly don't remember this part, probably was unconscious

Still, the story had some moments of good human drama, and the main plot as I said certainly covered some interesting topics. It was also much better than the Famicom games I've played so far so hoping to see the series get even better over time. Especially since there still so damn many games left to play.

Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely

Atelier Elie: The Alchemist of Salburg 2（エリーのアトリエ 〜ザールブルグの錬金術士2〜）

This is gonna be a short post because I really don't have much to say about Atelier Elie. It's pretty much the same game as the previous entry except you are Elie (duh).

The little drama CD included with the game gives a bit of background on her story but Japanese only (sorry non-Jhipsters). This game, like the rest of the Salburg series has never been localized so this game gets the obligatory +0.5 Jhipster smug points.

Wow, this is SO interesting. Too bad it's Japanese only... Aww...

So Elie is a direct sequel on the same console with the same graphics, locations, and recurring characters. Yes, you get to give the weapon shop owner some hair growth tonic again. The only noteworthy addition to the gameplay are the new "blend" and "original" crafting methods. Finally, you can mix and match as you like for infinite possibilities! You want to use 2 nyuzu? How about 2.1 nyuzu? Or even 2.2? You might improve the quality from B to B+ and get a better reputation! Ugh, fuck that, google time.

You used 2.8 green neutralizers instead of 2.9?? You fool!!!

I will admit that I may have graded the first game a bit harshly as we "pro" reviewers tend to do with a game that doesn't hand-hold you with baby gamer tutorials. Now that I have a better understanding of how these games work, I do admit that it gets addictive trying to scrounge up the ingredients without getting killed, scraping up some cash to buy the rest of your equipment and reference books, and managing your fairy slaves ahem "helpers". But saying this game is fun is akin to saying, "Wow, I feel so much better after I tidied up my room!" I mean, who the fuck wants to "play" a game that basically consists of real work and trying to eke out a living to pay off your expenses? Oh...

Look at that tanuki's smug face as he exploits the working class...

Score: 2.5 At least Elie's character design matches today's social standards of ambiguous gender traits! out of 5

I mean the game is fun and all but only in small doses and in my case, several months of breaks in between. I also foolishly agreed to become Meister Rank which extends the game for another 2 years. Elie went back to her village in my ending and I have no desire to play again even though I missed out on recruiting Marie from the first game. I also made gold but the game didn't seem to care.

One of the many events I missed, oh well

In general, without following a guide, I feel like I probably missed out on a whole bunch of events just like the first game. I even almost missed the fact that you could take a carriage to another city because I didn't keep speaking to random people in the town at random times. Oh well, whatever, I'm over it. Ok, time to play Atelier Lilie!

Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely

Murder on the Eurasia Express（ユーラシアエクスプレス殺人事件）

You may have noticed there are a lot of these interactive movie games on this blog lately. As usual, I need to make room to further drown myself in the delirious pleasure of shameless consumerism (aka hoarding). Err, excuse me, I mean, "engage in my personally enriching hobby of video game collecting".

What's the point of buying more games when you have a giant pile?
When are you going to have time to actually play all those games?
Don't you think there's better things to spend your money on?  ▼

Murder on the Eurasia Express beats the record for being the shortest of the bunch so far, clocking in at only about 2 to 3 hours. Unlike the anime games I've been playing recently, this is FMV with OMG, real people!!

Wow, the hair rendering looks so realistic!

Even though there were a lot of cheesy FMV games with the advent of the CD-ROM, I still enjoyed them back in the day. Just being able to hear "real" music instead of sound chips and midi was mind blowing at the time. One game I particularly enjoyed as a kid was Burn Cycle (rating board, what's that?). They should make a sequel with the new body, what with all these pronoun switching these days (if you played, you know what I mean).

This game was unfortunately not as good as Burn Cycle unless you dig the "train full of high school Japanese girls" setting. Unfortunately, I didn't recognize most of the cast but I think they're pretty famous? I did recognize Fukuda Kyoko and oh boy that was a quick flashback to the past. Since this game came out in 1998 and she was born in 1982, she actually should have been going to high school at the time, if my gamer math is correct. Then again, why the hell would you want to go to school when you can act in a mediocre 6,800 yen PS1 FMV murder mystery game?

Oh crap, my book report is due tomorrow!

Yeah, 6,800 yen for a 3 hour game. Ouch. Of course it's way cheaper now but can you imagine if someone were to try to sell a shitty 2-3 hour game for $60 today??

Rating Pending? I'll rate it right now: diarrhea

They would rave about how amazing the shit game is of course! Because everything is backwards now! Fortunately, this game is at least entertaining... somewhat. You can only go to a few carriages and the lounge and you're just basically going from room to room asking questions. There's a time limit too, which is annoying.

Arbitrary time limits that make you restart the game? We love those!!

For some weird reason, you can look at every person's chest and knees and no worries, you can stare at the crotch of the guys too if that's your thing. And no, there is absolutely no point of looking down in terms of beating the game.

Teacher's knees here because looking at high school girls' knees is sick.

Turns out that I've been mentally scarred by all the moe social media outrage vis-à-vis chichi bukuro blood drives, wrinkled/clear skirt, etc. that I forget what regular Japanese girls look like. Oh yeah, I totally forgot that most Japanese girls are flat as a board!

Turns out clothing is pretty effective at covering body parts... IRL

Score: 2 There's an important clue on one of the girl's chest! If you inspect each one carefully, you'll discover that you're a pervert! out of 5 (2.5 hours to beat)

Anyways, you go from room to room, asking questions and uncovering more questions to ask. Swap the disc, repeat, and finally at the end of disc 4, you have to actually do some thinking to present the correct evidence to identify the killer.

It's just like Murder on the Orient Express but with Japanese girls and the mystery not even remotely as interesting and there you have Murder on the Eurasia Express in a nutshell. However, I still gave it a score of 2 as barely worth checking out because I felt the human drama was interesting enough to warrant a couple hours of your time.

One of the girls gives you (the camera) a kiss at the end and your secretary is different depending on how fast you beat the game, etc but no way I'm going to replay just to see those minor differences.

At least the manual is really nice. Took a quick pic before purging.

Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely

DS Yukemuri Suspense Series: Free Writer Tachibana Maki - "Touyako, Nanatsu no Yu, Okuyu no Sato" Shuzai Techou（DS湯けむりサスペンスシリーズ フリーライター 橘 真希 「洞爺湖・七つの湯・奥湯の郷」取材手帳）

Unlike the crazy long title, this is one of those short games that I try to knock out every now and then in order to thin the herd so to speak. Clocking in at under 8 hours, this ADV game for the DS is about 3 girls traveling to hot spring locations for a travel magazine and getting caught up in various mysteries along the way. Be prepared to enjoy much naked deltoids as this game features live photos similar to Machi by Chunsoft. In fact, according to my expert research (Wikipedia), several people were involved in the making of both games.

In the Switch remake, the shoulders are covered by a tasteful cloak

There are 3 chapters in all and each chapter is from the viewpoint of one of the 3 girls. Personally, I thought Satomi was the cutest. Unfortunately, I was unable to find any other games or AV works featuring her. By AV, I mean Audiovisual works of course, you freaking perverts.

Honestly, I'd go out with all three but my standards are low #IncelGamer

The interesting aspect about this game is that it's by Zenrin, a map company that for some reason decided to branch out into video games very briefly. Each chapter features a map of the hot springs town and you have to navigate to the correct location based on clues and whatnot. Ahhh, brings me back to the good ol' days in Japan before smartphones. "So yeah, take the B-2 east exit, make sure to go up the stairs to your right NOT the escalator. Then turn left at the 7-11 and look for a large sign with a blue bird on it. Take a right and look for another 7-11 that doesn't sell oden. Go to the house next door, tap twice loudly, and follow the cat that comes out of the alleyway to the ABC-Mart. My house is just around the corner in the basement of a snack. EASY. Make sure to say hello to the Mama-san on the way in!"

The Zenrin marketing is just annoying enough to make me hate them

The dialogue was interesting enough to read as the girls banter with each other. The mysteries were nothing to write home about but the short length made it mostly tolerable. Interestingly, after you finish each chapter, you can look up more info on the hotels, attractions, and sights of each location. Who knows if any of this information is still accurate but it's interesting for a video game at least.

How the heck am I supposed to check-in from my DS?

Score: 2.5 cheers to much improved modern life thanks to $900 iPhones, $100/month data plans propped up by telecom monopolies, soaring healthcare costs, and... hmm... nm out of 5 (7.5 hours to beat)

Overall, the game was interesting enough, particularly with the tie in to real travel locations. It even came with a giant blue sticker to seal your user registration card for a chance to win a trip for two. Unfortunately, I was just a wee bit too late to apply and missed the deadline.

Proof that yes, I owned this game before dumping it at Gamestop

In the end, did I like this game enough to keep it around? Naw, I need to make some room in my closet for my complete Funko Pop Fortnite collection or whatever the kids are wasting their parent's money on nowadays. Ok, boomer.

I'm so cute! Global warming? Growing wage gap? #MeToo? Eh? ♥️ What's that?

Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely

Ripple Island（リップルアイランド）

Continuing on my late "OMG, my phone can emulate old consoles!" discovery thread, I also recently finished Ripple Island. This is a perfect contrast to Hoshi wo Sagashite... because it was released in the same year but on the Famicom. Unlike the doable game by Sega, this is yet another FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE to beat ADV game from SunSoft just like Dead Zone.

FamiCan, like NintenDon't for positive Jhipsters

There's no way I was going to spend hours getting stuck trying to beat this without the help of a guide. Let's all just agree that I don't have enough time in my life to waste and no I'm not talking about having trouble finding time between life's responsibilities any more. I'm literally talking about how much longer I have to live now that I'm old.

Thanks Jacob for putting it all into perspective. Time to play some 30+ year old games!

Ripple Island, in my opinion, is virtually impossible to beat without a guide though maybe slightly less impossible than Dead Zone thanks to the removal of those really specific menu options like "place", "open", "pull", and "pour self some whiskey and cry about squandered youth". The game is split into 5 areas and the first area is super doable. You just gotta walk around, talk to a few folks in the town, pick up your girl, and drug what looks like a gopher. (Whew, good thing PETA didn't have Jhipsters back then!)

Fuck you stout, weasel, whatever you are

As soon as you get past the gopher asshole blocking your way, the King tells you about some lost treasures blah blah defeat evil emperor etc., etc. Then onto Area 2 where the shit hits the fan. To start, you have to knock on one certain tree to get some acorns even though it looks identical to every other tree. You know, there's an unwritten rule in ADV games that necessary items should be distinguishable even if it's just a few pixels. But nope, no respect for the genre here. Hey, why don't you try just knocking on this random tree, identical to every other tree in the fucking FOREST. What, you didn't try every possible action on every possible background item?

Welp, you're fucked. Hope you got a password handy!

Once you know what to do, the game is pretty short so I guess that means it's ok to get completely stuck? There are several points where if you screw up, there is no way to progress, for example, trying to hit on the female fox (you sicko). Another example is not dyeing that fucking white flower red, which by the way is completely hidden in some random bush. I loved (sarcasm) how they bait you with the red flower you can never reach on the cliff. Can you imagine, buying this game at full price on release, and getting forever stuck in Area 2, after playing for like a couple hours? Well, I guess if you were rich enough to be buying Famicon ADV games on release, you could probably afford the strategy guide.


Score: 2 Where is the "fuck" option? What, this isn't a PC88 hentai game? out of 5

Excuse me?? What about my panties?

Anyway, with the help of a guide, it's a cute game with nice visuals and several endings (thank god for save states). The story is simplistic but that applies to every console ADV game I played so far on this generation (PC88 Master Race for the win!). You travel with a cute girl, talk to animals, and ride a giant flying squirrel. What more could you want?

Not even deserving of a squirrel seat? See, this is why we have Incels today.

Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely

Hoshi wo Sagashite...（星をさがして･･･）

Hoshi wo Sagashite... is one of the few ADV games on the Sega Mark III and of course since I wasn't born a Japanese kid with money (curse you, non-Japanese parents!), I had no idea about this game growing up. Hopefully, none of you took my weeb joke seriously because knowing what it's like to live as a Japanese salaryman, let me just say being Japanese isn't all that it's cracked up to be.

Sure, you're having fun now, but wait till you're working 8-9 (no, not 1 hour)

This is one of the few early ADV games that I think is totally beatable without a guide. In fact, I finished it in a few hours with virtually no cheating. I only looked up the minor ending differences. Sure, I putzed around a bit trying to figure out how to order a drink at the bar but mostly if you go around talking to people and banging on stuff, you'll get through it. The menu items are a bit weird such as the option to "eat" even though you don't eat a single thing the entire game. You do have to drink in one part but I guess it would be too obvious if the menu was just "drink".

Yum, fresh meat!

So my screenshots are a little weirdly proportioned because I don't know why I didn't think of this before but the phone is like the perfect platform to knock out these early console ADV games. The shitty touch controls aren't an issue for navigating a menu and it's so handy to just try random shit when you're out doing random shit in real life. Nothing like trying to eat a cat creature with wings that can talk while you're in the checkout line at the grocery store!

Shopping for your GF while shopping for your pretend GF IRL #Gamers

So yeah, this is a pretty cute and simple story about buying an egg for your girlfriend Laila that hatches into the creature you see in the cover. There's really not much to say about the story except I guess maybe environmentalists will get a kick out of it. Mio, the species of that little creature is I guess kinda cute? But let's face it, it's not going to be a grumpy cat or baby Yoda on the social medias any time soon.

Did not sell merchandise or generate even one meme - 0 out of 5 review

Score: 2.5 Yes! This game is not fucking impossible! out of 5

Overall, definitely a neat little title that is probably the best looking ADV game on the system. You'll know what I mean if you look at that Sherlock Holmes game. (My eyes!) Best of all, I loved that it's actually beatable without having to similarly beat your head on a hard surface. Definitely not a bad one to check out on your phone while you're out, presumably doing important stuff in real life (ya right).

And unlike in real bars, she'll actually talk to you!

Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely

Otogiriso Soseihen（弟切草 蘇生篇）

A sound novel is a term trademarked by Chunsoft and is really just a fancy word for what some would call visual novels ironically with no voice acting. The sound here is referring to SFX and a novel doesn't really talk to you at least back before Audible became a big thing for busy Millennials. Anyhoo, I figured it was my Jhipster duty to check out Chunsoft's sound novel series starting with Otogirisou. I played the PS1 remake and the intro gives off a really good vibe.

Oh boy, this looks scary!

Unfortunately, the writing doesn't quite live up to the enhanced graphics. You can finish this game in a few hours and is designed to be replayed many times. According to the manual, you should replay at least 10 times to get to the "truly interesting" parts.

Oh man, this DOES look scary!

I thought the idea behind the game was certainly interesting. There are tons of dialogue options (supposedly over 1,000) and while the basic premise of the events are the same, it's slightly different and feels fresh every time. For example, the first playthrough shows a photo of the inside of your car while the next playthrough might have a little animation with trees whizzing by.

I'm a sucker for these old school photos

Unfortunately, the freshness lasts maybe about 4 or 5 playthroughs and you quickly realize it's the same basic scenarios. You're driving in the car with your girlfriend Nami, some accident happens, you happen upon a mansion in the woods, etc. etc. The dialogue options get sillier and sillier as well with tons of cheesy puns and it's clear they don't really reflect on the following dialogue.

Ketchup on your salad eh?

Since these scenes are designed to be stitched together in semi-random order, after the first few playthrough, it was mostly a tedious exercise of holding down circle. No skip option is just such a time sink. One might say it's amazing that the story still holds up together even when it shifts and changes but to me, it just means that the story is not that involved.

The rain moves in the background. It's like a novel but EVOLVED!!

Score: 2 desperately trying to get with your gf no matter how fucked up things get out of 5 (15 playthroughs)

Some of the endings were good and it was interesting somewhat but overall I was underwhelmed. Sometimes it got a bit too silly for me and I just couldn't tell if the game was trying to be scary or funny. It wasn't particularly good at being either.

Unfortunately, the story is just not as scary as this picture suggests

However, being the obsessive compulsive that I am, I couldn't help but find all 10 endings to get the pink bookmark. Due to how the story changes up, there wasn't a clear guide and it wasn't that easy but I soldiered through it. The manual suggests some ecchi fanservice with the pink bookmark but I mean, don't get your hopes up. You're not going to be seeing Corpse Party style low angle shots of a girl hanging in a toilet stall. (You sicko.)

Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely

The Super Dimension Fortress Macross: Do You Remember Love?（超時空要塞マクロス 愛・おぼえていますか）

If one of my many, many readers were to ask me which I liked more, Gundam or Macross, I would definitely have to go with Macross. As my long-time readers are aware, I like music so that's a no-brainer for Macross. I also think the battles with Valkyries are cooler, the way they transform to take advantage of each form etc. Though I'm not quite sure the point of the half plane/robot form.

So far, I've only watched the first Macross TV series (all 36 episodes!), Macross Frontier, and the first movie from which this game is based on. The movie is pretty good though the plot is obviously super rushed to fit 36 TV episodes in under two hours. The soundtrack is awesome and the old school hand drawn battle scenes are simply amazing with intricate details we'll likely never see again with all this fancy computer shit these days (old man grumblings).

God, I love this 80s shit!

As for the game, I played the PS1 version and it is a pretty good looking side-scrolling shooter. It also summarizes the movie in between levels with a mix of short animated clips and some audio narration. You may want to watch the movie first before playing the game unless you really want to save yourself time from watching the movie.

Intro cutscene in the game actually takes place before the movie

So yeah, the presentation is pretty good and it plays ok as a game. However, there's only like 11 levels and you can literally beat the whole thing in a day. As a busy, pro reviewer, I love that I can finish the whole game in no time and put it up for sale on ebay. Being a shmup (EXTREMELY RARE!!! BID NOW!!!), I'm hoping to make a little profit by selling this back. Sooo glad I didn't waste that money on an S&P 500 ETF fund, making market average returns like a real adult.

The graphics are pretty good for a PS1/Saturn game

Now, I'm not like a super expert shooter gamer. Sure, I played the shit out of Astro Warrior as a kid and almost beat U.N. Squadron (rented, never owned unfortunately) and as a typical gaming hoarder, I have a stack of games to play one of these days. But even as a novice to the genre, I really wouldn't say this was a good shooting game. It's more about experiencing the movie via a video game like one cool part where you play it sideways. (Is playing a side-scrolling shooter on the side actually like playing it straight? Here at Jhipster Gamer, we tackle life's most important questions!)

1st level again, I assure you I beat the game, just not on an emulator for screenshots #FakeGamer

I mean, yeah, it's technically a game. For instance, you can change forms and I guess it kinda matters because only the robot form can shoot backwards and when the boss is in background but really, it doesn't matter for the most part. Mostly, you'll just be constantly holding down and releasing the square button to fire like a million missiles. There's also not a lot of room for you to maneuver because you take up so much of the screen. This becomes particularly apparent when the Meltrandi show up.

Score: 2.5 prepare to be humming those damn catchy 80s tunes for a while out of 5 (optional 0.5 bonus Jhipster smugness points for never having to know what the fuck Robotech is)

Captain, we have Harmony Gold USA on target, permission to fire?

Overall, despite not being a very good game, it's a pretty nice package as long as you didn't pay full retail price for a few hours of gameplay. I played through it twice on normal and hard and I was like, "Meh, I guess it was fun." At the very least, it gave me a good reason to finally finish watching the movie. I felt bad for Minmay, I would definitely marry her or even Iijima Mari if she wasn't like 60 now. Sigh...


Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely

Double Cast（ダブルキャスト）

Long time readers of the blog (all 2 of you) may have noticed some recurring themes. Honestly, I'm running out of timely and topical material to keep these posts interesting. After all, there is nothing more boring than reading somebody's breakdown of a video game in a "traditional" review.

One issue is that YouTube is now a pedophile infested commercial sell out and I'm no longer interested in watching  "collectors" engage in their unhealthy obsessions. Speaking of unhealthy buying habits, there are going to be lots of anime games coming up. As I found out with Momotenshi, these games are great to blast through in about 5-10 hours and are easy to purge from the ever growing pile.

So why don't I start by giving a quick summary of the story of Double Cast, follow it up with my thoughts on the gameplay, and conclude with the good and bad points about the game... BOOOORIIIING!!

Wake me when you're finished or if Shitaku shuts down

Double Cast is the first title in the Yarudora series of anime games that I'm working on purging. As an anime, the animation is a bit rough at times and it's definitely not as well produced as Momotenshi. There were several scenes where it looked it was drawn by different people. However, it has a skip feature so that's a big advantage. Unfortunately, the skip option is buried in the option so I actually slogged through it 10 or so times before discovering the feature.

Not very automatic if you have to press △ IMO...

I played the PSP version as I owned the UMD (emphasis on the past tense). Fortunately, there is no real issue with the aspect ratio because the original PS1 game also had widescreen with a big black section for the text. You can either choose to view the text on top or adjust the aspect ratio to make room on the bottom. (why would you do that?)

I swear, this is like the 3rd WicDonalds I've seen in a anime/game.

Unlike some of the more "anime" type of anime games, this is definitely an ADV game with a whole butt load of endings and a fair number of dialogue choices. For the life of me, I couldn't figure out which choices mattered and I got stuck on a couple of bad endings. After the frustration of getting the same ending a few times, I eventually resorted to looking up a guide. The guide, by the way, has a whopping FORTY-FOUR playthroughs to get 100% completion. Like, fuck that shit, I played through it enough to watch all the endings and even then I only got like 93% or so. Good enough for me, I say.

These black screens show the MC's emotion without showing his face

Some saavy gamer who's played this game might catch me in the act and say, "Hey, these screenshots are from like the first 5 minutes of the game! I bet you didn't even play it!!" Oh my, you got me! Time to make an apology video on YT. I'M GOING VIRAL!!! Actually, I just loaded this up in an emulator to post some screenshots after I played it for like 15 hours (most of it spent watching it skip forward). I never could bother to figure out those plugins or whatnot on my PSP to take screenshots.

Trigger warning! There are a couple panty shots. (Spoiler: Pure white)

Score: 2 the panti is pure white but the girl... not so much out of 5 (15 hours played)

Kidding about trigger warnings aside, this anime/game is not super gory like Elfen Lied but the fact that I even compared the two might be a sign that some shit is going to go down. By the way, am I crazy or is Elfen Lied not even that great an anime?

Overall, I found the story pretty cliché and mediocre. I mean, it's a group of college kids making a movie and the title is Double Cast. Not so hard to guess what the game is about. The OST at least was pretty good. I jammed to a few tunes.

Granted, I haven't played a ton of these interactive anime games but the mechanics at least were ok provided you looked in the options menu. I can only hope that the later games offer up a better story and animation. However, watching the same anime over and over with a few scene variations is not exactly my cup of tea so maybe this isn't my type of genre. At the very least, I was able to sell this one on the ol' eBays to pay off 1% of my latest payday loan. #MAGA (obligatory hashtag)

Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely