Ripple Island（リップルアイランド）

Continuing on my late "OMG, my phone can emulate old consoles!" discovery thread, I also recently finished Ripple Island. This is a perfect contrast to Hoshi wo Sagashite... because it was released in the same year but on the Famicom. Unlike the doable game by Sega, this is yet another FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE to beat ADV game from SunSoft just like Dead Zone.

FamiCan, like NintenDon't for positive Jhipsters

There's no way I was going to spend hours getting stuck trying to beat this without the help of a guide. Let's all just agree that I don't have enough time in my life to waste and no I'm not talking about having trouble finding time between life's responsibilities any more. I'm literally talking about how much longer I have to live now that I'm old.

Thanks Jacob for putting it all into perspective. Time to play some 30+ year old games!

Ripple Island, in my opinion, is virtually impossible to beat without a guide though maybe slightly less impossible than Dead Zone thanks to the removal of those really specific menu options like "place", "open", "pull", and "pour self some whiskey and cry about squandered youth". The game is split into 5 areas and the first area is super doable. You just gotta walk around, talk to a few folks in the town, pick up your girl, and drug what looks like a gopher. (Whew, good thing PETA didn't have Jhipsters back then!)

Fuck you stout, weasel, whatever you are

As soon as you get past the gopher asshole blocking your way, the King tells you about some lost treasures blah blah defeat evil emperor etc., etc. Then onto Area 2 where the shit hits the fan. To start, you have to knock on one certain tree to get some acorns even though it looks identical to every other tree. You know, there's an unwritten rule in ADV games that necessary items should be distinguishable even if it's just a few pixels. But nope, no respect for the genre here. Hey, why don't you try just knocking on this random tree, identical to every other tree in the fucking FOREST. What, you didn't try every possible action on every possible background item?

Welp, you're fucked. Hope you got a password handy!

Once you know what to do, the game is pretty short so I guess that means it's ok to get completely stuck? There are several points where if you screw up, there is no way to progress, for example, trying to hit on the female fox (you sicko). Another example is not dyeing that fucking white flower red, which by the way is completely hidden in some random bush. I loved (sarcasm) how they bait you with the red flower you can never reach on the cliff. Can you imagine, buying this game at full price on release, and getting forever stuck in Area 2, after playing for like a couple hours? Well, I guess if you were rich enough to be buying Famicon ADV games on release, you could probably afford the strategy guide.


Score: 2 Where is the "fuck" option? What, this isn't a PC88 hentai game? out of 5

Excuse me?? What about my panties?

Anyway, with the help of a guide, it's a cute game with nice visuals and several endings (thank god for save states). The story is simplistic but that applies to every console ADV game I played so far on this generation (PC88 Master Race for the win!). You travel with a cute girl, talk to animals, and ride a giant flying squirrel. What more could you want?

Not even deserving of a squirrel seat? See, this is why we have Incels today.

Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely

Hyperdimension Neptunia Re;Birth1（超次次元ゲイム ネプテューヌRe;Birth1）

This year is off to a good start as I finally finished the first Neptunia game or rather the remake on the Vita. The original game was actually one of the first games I bought for the PS3 as my first foray into the brave new world of region free gaming. I was so naive back then it was almost comical. I assumed that because the Blu-ray format allowed adequate space for dual audio that they would be selling the same game worldwide. While that was true for some large publishers such as Sony and Sega, little did I know that most everybody else would still essentially region lock games by removing all Japanese text and thereby requiring you to import it anyway.

As usual, fuck NIS America

I remember returning the game to GameStop baffled. After all, why would you want to play in a language that you don't understand? As I had no knowledge of weebs at the time, it made no sense to read English dialogue while listening to Japanese audio. Watching YT, now I know most skip through without actually listening to the Moonspeak. It still doesn't make sense to me but oh well, I guess better to import rather than pay sales tax that'll go toward building a stupid wall anyways. #MAGA What was I talking about again?

Sugoi! I think I heard kawaii in the dialogue!

Oh yeah so anyways, while I thought the original PS3 title was cool at the time with the weird breathing chests, I dropped it when I had to wait for the Lowee continent to connect in order to cross over. Many years later and I finally beat Re;Birth 1, which is totally different from the first game save for the basic premise and plot.

I'm sure I don't need to go over the whole personification of the game industry shtick like every other review out there. I do want to point out that Neptunia is actually called Neptune in Japanese even going as far as using an uncommon katakana combination （テュ） to get the correct phonetic sound (instead of the standard "chu" sound). I have no idea why they changed the name. After all, the Sega Saturn was not called stupid Saturnia. Of course, we're not new to the idea that localizers do stupid things so let's just move on.

Not my problem since I'm fluent in Japanese. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

First, let's talk about the most uninteresting part of the game which is the story and dialogue. Yeah, it's fun for the first few hours to talk about console wars and how the goddess powers are derived from shares but I dunno, I found both Neptune and especially Compa's voices annoying. Sure, you got the queen of tsundere Mingos for Noire and I loved how MAGES. calls her assistant (Christina's VA from Steins;Gate) but a significant portion of the dialogue was a snorefest.

LOL 助手 (sorry non-jhipsters)

Coming from a guy that liked listening to hours of Yuri dialogue about tea and snacks, I have to say you can only talk about purin so much in one game. Besides the filler dialogue and silly gags, I found the main plot was pretty boring as well. Other than fun game industry references, I didn't get much from the story except the message that piracy is bad mkay?

I mean I love purin as much as the next gal but I don't pontificate about it

Fortunately, the game play is much more interesting in that it's just broken. IGNorant once again proves that their "pro" reviewers don't actually play the games they review as one of the few positive points was that this game didn't require grinding. SERIOUSLY?! NO GRINDING?? Did you even bother to finish Chapter 2? Noire is the first example of how broken the progression system is as she will DESTROY you right after another boss battle to add insult to injury. You really do need those life rings as they raise your HP to a ridiculous amount.

It's ok to admit you didn't play. Oh wait you get paid for this? ...oh

The interesting part about this game is that you can pick up specs along the way to tweak the gameplay. It's almost like you're changing the game as you go, adding new dungeons, stronger enemies, etc., which definitely does fit into the whole meta theme. There is technically a limit to how much you can change based on how much "memory" you have but I never got close to running out.

Luckily, IGN probably never got this far. They don't like panties.

As you progress, you can use specs to just lower or increase the difficultly but what's the fun in that? Mostly, I grinded a bit after unlocking new enemies anytime a boss was overpowered (which happens quite a bit). If you don't use those specs, you're going to be grinding for a LOOOONG time. To give you an idea of how ridiculous the balance is, a regular enemy near the end might net you a few thousands exp points while the strongest unlocked enemy I killed netted almost 800,000 exp points. The different in grinding might number in thousands of encounters.

Oooh look at all that booty... er EXP that is!

I also changed my play style once I got 6 characters and discovered that your linked party member's HP recovers over time. Because Compa dies so easily later on in the game, I just swapped members in and out instead of bothering to heal them. Burning a couple discs that prevent status ailments was also really helpful.

The boss battles in the first half of the game also tends to drag out as you have to whittle down their guard before you can really start to do damage. Fortunately, things got a lot better after I used the spec to increase EXE meter charge speed. You hardly ever get to see those flashy EXE attacks until you use that spec. Then you'll be using them all the time (thankfully skippable). A couple of EXE special attacks and you'll break down boss guards in no time!

Tekken-chan hard at work

I thought it was especially hilarious that one of Broccoli's EXE combo skill was Acquarian Age. Yeah I wasn't able to finish that game but I don't think even many Japanese gamers would get that reference. You'll likely crack a few grins from all the game references such as the obvious Metal Gear guy in a box, the DQ rainbow bridges, and Steins;Gate fake phone calls, especially if you're a pro expert gamer like me.

Aaaah Acquarian Age Broccoli reference. Somebody there knows their shit!

Score 3 hey isn't that character from that game voiced by the VA from that franchise that merged with that one developer that went bankrupt that my sister's cousin's husband used to work at? Cool reference! out of 5

This game was a pretty fun time but not SUPER compelling. The dungeons are small and easy to get around. I also like super quirky game mechanics that are playful (RIP Imageepoch) but the main plot didn't get me hooked. There are some good moments and fun characters such as Broccoli (she's adorable nyu) but it's hampered by Compa's super fake and annoying voice. The music was also unremarkable. Overall, it's an solid average enjoyable experience.

At least Broccoli was adorable nyu

The end credits was pretty boss. We gamers are suckers for retro pixel style.

Oh those crazy panty days before the holy ray Cali Sony purge... #Nostalgia

Remember the good ol' days when people wrote blogs instead of sharing fake FB news?

Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely

Hatsune Miku: Project DIVA f（初音ミク -Project DIVA- f）

While Project Mirai on the 3DS was cute and all, let's go back to the REAL Miku games on Playstation; not that I want to get into the whole asinine console war nerd fuckery. I'm a vendor agnostic gamer connoisseur goddammit, not some Sony fanboi. Just because Sony is superior is every department and two faced Nintendy somehow gets a free pass when they whore themselves for money with DLC and Gacha microtrans "oh kids, it's not gambling!" family friendly facade... wait, what was I talking about again?

Let's rewind back to August 2012 to get a picture of how awesome Diva f was for its time. The Vita was just released probably at some ridiculous price 9 months earlier and Diva f came out along with a special limited model which I wanted but didn't get because no way was I gonna spend that much money. Yes, I still had a trace of constraint back in those days.

In retrospect, it's probably better that I didn't buy this.

This poor cheapo bought the budget re-release which thankfully doesn't have that god awful puke yellow "Best" label. It only took me over 4 years to finally finish this sucker so that might give you a vague idea of my backlog. (#hoarder) But anyway, if you were willing to shell out the cash, Diva f had mind blowing graphics compared to the previous PSP games. It really makes me wonder what ParaPhray was thinking when they released Megpoid the Music♯ almost a whole YEAR later.

Oh, how cute GUMI, you got a game too? Tee hee!

As a rhythm game, the Diva games are fun enough. In this iteration, they took advantage of the touchscreen to add a scratch mechanic ie swiping on either the front or back. It's no Beatmania of course, but I liked the new mechanic as the scratch timing is far more permissive than the regular buttons so it usually turns out to be an easy way to rack up points. It's a bit more clunky on the PS3 using the analog sticks so I definitely recommend the Vita version as it was originally intended. I also liked how they used the stars to good effect on some of the songs particularly at the end of Black Rock Shooter.


Not my favorite song but still fun to play (but maybe not EXTREME...)

And that leads right into the best part of this game: the video production values (thanks intro LIT 101!). I mentioned that Diva extend has some of the coolest looking videos in the series and it's obvious that Sega or whomever had honed their skills through the 3 PSP games and once again delivers great music videos with next gen Vita graphics (oh sorry, I mean previous gen old shitty specs, god bless the Switch!). The extra effect they added when you hit the big star was a really nice touch as it adds something unique to familiar Vocaloid songs.


Golly, what will they come up with next?!

Of course, not everything is all rainbows and Miku kittens. The song list is pretty good and has a fair amount of volume but I wouldn't say it's exploding with content exactly. At least they stopped recycling songs from previous games like they did in Diva 2nd and Extend. The PS3 version has a few more songs that you unfortunately have to buy as DLC for the Vita. As you can see, the good ol' days are coming to an end as DLC is starting to get more pervasive. No more free Haku module for you! You cheap ass freeloader who only wants to buy just the game by itself!

Only 309 yen for 3 modules? WHAT A DEAL!

Speaking of the times, I don't know if the graphics just got too good or what but gone are the days of wonton panchira starting from this game. They did a pretty good job of making sure you couldn't see up there in both the edit and photo mode. Despite the fact that the PSP games were a lot more lax about this kind of thing, this game got a higher Cero rating of C tagged with that "Sexual Content" icon. I guess those panty pixels just got too detailed or maybe it's the enhanced boob physics? Who knows? Who cares? Jesus, you gamers are so fucking creepy! #Losers

I'm not a creepy gamer who would watch a PV for disgusting panchira. In fact, I have no idea how this image got here.

As for the other features, I guess they're a fun enough distraction if you're a trophy whore. The AR features are just a gimmick as usual. My budget game did not come with the AR cards so I had to print them from the website but actually I just got the trophy from the equally gimmicky Live Mode on the PS3. Also, a lot of head rubbing went down in the Diva Rooms (I guess that's what they call it nowadays). I probably would have ignored most of that stuff if not for the trophies.

Way to promote violence Sony. Why don't you take some lessons from Nintendo?

I sleep in my underwear too! Umm... you wanna do a sleepover?

Score: 3.5 thank god we progressed as a society to treat women with the respect they deserve #ConfirmKavanaughNow #NotReally out of 5. (37 hours for platinum)

Overall, Diva f is a great looking game when moving to the next gen still meant a huge noticeable difference in graphics. While not the best rhythm game out there, there's a lot to enjoy, especially the Vita version, which looks way better than some of the video captures on Youtube.

Some bonus screenshots for the post-Trump apocalyptic Miku bible, our new Lord and Savior.

Jesus, where are these mysogynistic images coming from?! #ILikeBeer

The image gallery trophy was a pain as it's totally random.

This song came included as DLC so stop buying used, ya fucking cheapskate!

Yeah yeah, it's not 60fps though so totally garbage

I've seen enough. Time to go grab some curly cheese fries.

+1 yet another reason why Japan is the best place on Earth #weaboo

Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely

Yahari Game demo Ore no Seishun Rabu Kome wa Machigatteiru.（やはりゲームでも俺の青春ラブコメはまちがっている。）

Despite the fact that I appear to be a super professional expert of Japanese ADV games, I'm actually relatively new to the genre. After all, it took a bit a time to become a fully fluent, college reading level master of Japanese-foo moon symbols and all that jazz. Also it helps that the "pros" at IGNorant, Shitaku, PolySJW, etc. have as much knowledge as well... a room full of communication and media studies majors, which actually pretty much explains everything.

My master's thesis: "Protesting the tyranny of the graduate thesis patriarchy by submitting a single misogynistic image"

I kind of got off track (once again) but what I was trying to say is Yahari Game demo Ore no Seishun Rabu Kome wa Machigatteiru. aka Oregairu aka Hamachi aka blah blah SNAFU oh look at my creative writing degree! is the first light novel → anime → "interactive medium" adaptation ADV game I've played. Sure, I have a pile of oreimo, haganai, sakurasou no pet, etc. etc. in my Closet of Shame™ gathering dust but god forbid I actually try to play my shit. Nope, I'd rather boot up a digital PSN game in my never ending quest to make room on my tiny Vita memory card (FU Sony). I got it on a PSN "sale" (#broke) but fortunately, you can now get both this game and the sequel on the PS4 for the amazing price of $80! (TODO: add affiliate link for $$$).

If you want to see this CG without the text, you'll have to buy it yourself (or YT I guess)

I have to say, for my first "licensed" game, I was quite impressed at the quality and volume of content. I haven't read the light novels but I did watch both seasons of the anime and it was ok, I suppose. Honestly, it was so long ago I forgot most of it but I did appreciate that it wasn't another typical harem dry hump orgy like nisekoi, haganai, oreimo, SAO (barf), etc., etc., etc.

Maybe I should become an anime critique (#jk #NotALoser)

The story in this game takes place during summer break and of course you have your usual heroine routes with Yukinon and Yuigahama. For some odd reason, I found Yuigahama's voice annoying even though Kujou Karen from Kinmoza is one of fav characters of all-time. In fact, I would marry Naochan in a second if given the chance.

Fuck Yuigahama, where's Nao's route??

Anyway blah blah, more of the same shit as the anime. The REAL highlight of this game are the characters that didn't get much air time due to being a trap or not being in the same school (you're too old for junior high). Yes, it's back. IMOOOOUTO TAIMUUU! Nothing like JC (don't Google Japan that) incest action to- wait, who's banging on the door?!

Just to be clear, this is not from the game.

So yeah, if you liked Komachi and thought you wanted to see more of her than her brief scenes from the first season, this game is for you. You can enjoy living vicariously through an anime loner boy hanging out at home during summer break waking up your imouto for breakfast. #BUYNOW!!

Imouto "tehe" (≧▽≦)ゞ in PJs, what more can you ask for?

Or if you're into traps, funny enough but Totsuka is one of the Heroine routes and he has the most complicated route with the most CGs. Unfortunately, the scenario writer (and original author) kept things consistent and didn't take the non-canon ending chance for some real BL, which seems like a missed opportunity... if you're into that shit I mean, which I'm totally NOT! #120%Straight

Unfortunately, the game doesn't take it to the next level

I also appreciated that Hachiman was voiced as well since I'm American and get a severe allergic reaction to BIGLY words. I'm not one of those creepos who needs a silent protagonist to immerse themselves into the game so it didn't bother me one bit. Pretty much everything is voiced which is great for multitask audio drama style play except oddly for his lines in the silence breaker sections. This is a section where you have to pick certain lines to increase or decrease the heart meter within a certain number of tries featuring Live2D fancy graphics.

Jesus, enough with the fucking teasing!

You have to fail and succeed all of these for a couple trophies so it's kind of a pain in the butt. In fact, getting platinum on this game is nigh impossible without a guide IMO. While I was easily able to unlock all the endings and collect most of the CGs, to get every type of mail involved things like raising Totsuka's flag, leaving Yuigahama's dog Sable with Yukinon, fail a silence break with her and then take Sable for a walk with both Totsuka and Yukinon.

Ahh Subject: Re4 the good ol days before all this line stamp shit.

In fact, even the trophy whores on psnprofiles took at least 3 hours to waste their money for a fucking trophy. If you think about these people staring at their Vita for that whole time, skipping text, and selecting dialogue options without reading them, you can kind of get a sense of how fucking loser they are. For the record, I took my time enjoying the content off and on for over a year and 7 months so I'm totally NOT a loser.

Thanks imouto for the plat!!!

Score: 3.5 unfortunately, there is no Kinmoza game so you'll just have settle for this ten hour video out of 5

I would buy a Kinmoza game for reals

All in all, if you liked the anime and want to see more of it, in particular Komachi or Totsuka, you can't go wrong with this one. The story is more of the same, it's polished, and there's a lot of content for your Oregairu fix (you have a weird addiction).



Additional screenshots for the Imouto museum.

Oh hell yeah, I would post the CG after she strips but well, why don't you buy it yourself via my affiliate link? (TODO: add link to fund game hoarding habit)

Ah, the old "maybe we're not related so not incest?" imouto route trick

Uh oh... what's going on down there?

Totsuka has the most CGs to unlock (#TRAP)

I just want to know for sure if there's a penis or not. The public deserves to know! #TruthMatters

Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely

Senran Kagura SHINOVI VERSUS（閃乱カグラ SHINOVI VERSUS -少女達の証明-）

I'm going to be real here for just a second and admit that yeah, the gamergate jokes are getting kind of a bit stale. I mean sure, it was a sad and pathetic showing for mankind err... excuse me peoplekind from both sides but c'mon, it was also freaking hilarious! But alas, every joke must run its course and I need to move on to something else (millennial jokes?). Now, what game was I going to talk about again? Oh fucking Senran Kagura SHINOVI VERSUS? IT'S GAMERGATE TIMEEEE! Let's party like it's 2014!!!

Welp, there goes my Adsense $.015 per month ad revenue

Just kidding, just kidding! Of course I'm not actually going to go full retard to rant and rave about the irreparable harm these evil vidya games are causing to our otherwise flawless society nor am I going to get all hot and excited about anime boobs cause c'mon, that's creepy as hell. Besides, putting up clickbait screenshots does nothing for me since they don't actually generate money. (That might explain why I haven't seen as much Shitaku clickbait lately though it's probably only because I haven't visited that hellhole in years.)

This looks bad but she's gonna get a check for $130G so it's totally cool. #MAGA

No, what you're going to see is the top-notch, A-class, quality game journalism that you've come to expect here. The always purely unbiased review of these works of arts based solely on their artistic and functional merits.

This expression of iron will and determination from the strong female cast will serve as a great role model for future... um... panty designers?

The first thing to discuss is the platform as I opted to stick with the original Vita version and not the PC version on Steam. I don't own the Steam version but I'll be happy to give it a try if anybody sends me along a review code, given how professional my reviews are and all. Ahem, going back to the Vita version, even though it looks pretty darn impressive for a 2013 portable game, it does have load times that are long enough to get annoying. I've probably read the tips on the load screen a million times and I'm willing to bet at least few hours of my total game time were probably spent just waiting.

Too bad this isn't the loading screen to keep me "busy". Eww, that's gross! LOSER!

This sequel does take place right after the events of the first game so I personally would recommend playing Burst on the 3DS first. The last boss in the first game is actually pretty cool. The director did say that a lot of people skipped the first game when talking about the remake: Burst Re:newal so maybe you can start there? Nyu is of course, the Kanji for "breast", but I'm sure all my savvy readers got the pun.

How are you supposed to make money on your own in-product ad? Dumies!

The plot in this game was actually surprisingly decent. Sure, there's a lot of filler about girls talking about candy birthday party etc., but it actually continues and resolves some of the plot points from the first game. It even ties together some events such as Katsuragi's parents with one of the schools, which I won't get into cause spoilers.

This game actually has some pretty good plot points.

Minor story spoiler so skip the next section if you care...



I did briefly wonder why Yagyu wore an eyepatch from the first game and when Shiki guessed it sealed some sort of hiden ninpou, that's exactly the kind of thing you would expect from countless shounen manga.

Holy fuck, I thought this was supposed to be a happy game? (Note the Kanji for "head" and "mom"...)

It's refreshing that it actually just turned to be a perfectly ordinary eye patch and as for the reason why she wore it... well let's just say that when Hibari asked her if she would wear another eyepatch for her if she died, Yaguu replied, "of course". Then Hibari realizes that she won't be able to see and they both laughed but I just imagined Yagyu deciding to give up her eyesight to remember the death of close ones. Seems pretty tragic. It really made me reflect on the importance of appreciating your loved ones and their safety and happiness.

The story really makes you think... about life...n stuff...

As for the gameplay, it was pretty easy but also satisfactory button mashing. I was genuinely surprised that they were able to pull off not just one but TWO more schools essentially doubling the number of playable characters from the first game.

Yawn, boooring! Bring out the new girls!

All 20 characters play pretty distinctively too such as Yozakura's delayed gun fists or Hibari's infinite butt bounces. The game was easy enough that I almost never got to use the Zetsu Hiden Ninpou as it requires you to be low on health. Eventually, I spent an hour of so with all the characters just to see the ninpou for fun such as the giant strawberry cake move.

I hope some kid doesn't try this at home for clicks.

Maybe if I played online with some human players, I would see some more depth in the fighting system. Yeah, even though I bought this game new a looong time ago with the online pass, of course the rooms are deserted now. The game also sells DLC coins to make unlocking panties easier but this was still in the early DLC fuck fest days so it's pretty easy to unlock most of them with the free in-game currency. No need to pay real money for fake panties.

Most of the 98 panties are just color variations... I think. Um, it's not like I spent hours unlocking em all!

Score: 3.5 If Shitaku feels uncomfortable playing this game, maybe switch to boxers? out of 5. (53.5 hours for platinum)

I think I've gone on long enough so time to wrap up this impartial and amazingly in-depth game review. While I would normally dock a game for annoyingly long load times, I gave this one a break cause you know, Vita is obsolete, has like 2 megs or memory, thank god for the Switch savior blah blah blah. It's a pretty fun game overall and I put it slightly above average just for the volume of content and kudos for really ramping up the number of memorable characters. When I can remember most of the names of 20 characters, that means they did a pretty good job.

Misogynistic fashion design 101

I also liked playing around with the various hair, outfit, and accessories because that's just the kind of shit I like to do, I guess. If you like to mash buttons, mess with outfits, and listen to girls talk about I dunno Ninja girl stuff, this game is for you. Oh yeah, and sometimes, every once in a while, people fucking die (but nobody you care about cause we got ourselves a bona fide franchise here!).

Also have to point out the nice fat 43 page Vita manual #goodoldays

Some bonus screen shots for my social studies thesis paper.

It's not just about boobs but also real quality writing

These blocking turtles were annoying as fuck

Nothing to see here. Move along.

Sure the tears looks bad but she's got $150G check coming so... #MAGA?

No seriously, it's a pretty fun game.

Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely