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Saturday, January 28, 2017

Renai 0 Kilometer v (恋愛0キロメートルv)

It took almost 6 months but I finally finished my 3rd galge: Renai 0 Kilometer v. So I guess I'm practically an expert on the genre, eh? As far as I know, this Vita port is identical in content to the PSP version, which added a whopping 4 extra routes and 2 whole new characters. The only difference is that for some reason the Vita version is ridiculously expensive. I got my "copy" on a PSN sale (yeah, I'm still a sucker).

Don't worry Himuroya, you'll soon get your own route and even a theme song! No H though cause Cero C. Sorry!
One of the additional characters is voiced by none other than Tamura Yukari and she ironically plays the role of a High School student trying to become a voice actress. Tamura Yukari is famous for being eternally 17. (Sorry I have to explain this basic stuff for the non jhipsters). The 2 new characters don't have anything to do with the main story, they're just 2 broads you meet on the street (you playa you!).

So yeah, the main story is pretty much as you'd expect in a galge. It kinda reminded me of Marmalade Boy except more harem-ish. Without getting into the details, just in case anybody reading this is interested in playing it (pfft yeah right), you end up living with a bunch of girls who live next door (hence the 0 kilometer). Basically, 3 imoutos and 1 oneechan (if that's your thing) whom you're legally allowed to boink. Of course, I'm only guessing about that part because I played the censored "oh let's have a date at the mall teehee" Cero C consumer port.

A reader sent in this shot of the 18+ you're going to hell PC version. Thanks xxxOnePieceInYoFairyTailxxx!
Beside the silly premise, I thought the story was actually pretty good. Nothing happens outside the realm of normal reality in this one. No stupid magic tools pooped from a tree or time traveling Suzuha (though as I said Yukari IS in the game). However, even though the situations are very mundane, the dialogue is pretty damn funny. And though I did get tired of the game a bit with all the side routes, the main routes did keep me interested once I finally got to them. Also, a lot of 4th wall breaking humor. There was even a part where the girl said something embarrassing and disabled the backlog temporarily.

Noooo, my backlog!!!!!
The art style wasn't bad though some of the characters have tailored boob pockets and American porn silicon boobs. (Hate to break it to the protagonist, but dem melons ain't natural dude.)

Also conveniently serves as a face pillow in a pinch
Beside the fake boobies, I liked the design for characters that didn't get some uh "work" done. There are also a few scenes using a completely different art style which I thought was charming and cute.

This was apparently before she went in to get some "work" done
Overall, I was pleasantly surprised by this title and though I probably paid a bit more than I wanted to even with a "sale", at least I enjoyed my time with it. I would say, check it out if you can find it for a good price and don't mind a run-of-the-mill, imouto/oneechan-fetish, love triangle... urr heptagon story. I am of course talking to fellow jhipsters only, trophy whores aren't welcome.

I don't even bother talking about galge music anymore cause it's so generic

Score: 3 real boobs aren't shaped like that! ...or so I've read online... out of 5

While the Amazon Japan reviews rag on the Vita port for being pretty much a PSP game plopped onto a Vita cart, technically it was just ok. Yeah, the audio quality ain't exactly PC quality but oh well, at least it wasn't full of bugs like Harvest OverRay. All these Vita galge ports seem like a cash grab to me anyways. Hey, as long as it helps the Vita. You hear me Sony? Make a Vita 2, you chicken shits!!

Additional screenshots for the next generation of galge aficionados.

Dat Cero C steam is damn aggressive.
LOL this part was so funny! (Sorry non jhipsters...)
I never thought I'd say this but I think I can use an imouto break actually
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely

Sunday, January 15, 2017

Hatsune Miku: Project Diva(初音ミク -Project DIVA-)

Hatsune Miku has obviously become much more than just a mascot character for Yamaha's Vocaloid voice synthesizer. While to an ignorant non-jhipster, Miku may be just yet another excuse to say Japan is weird in some lame news filler segment, it actually has made a huge impact on the indie music scene.

Combined with Niconico douga, Vocaloid has become a platform for producers (you know those funny usernames that end with "p") and singers to collaborate on songs without ever working directly together. The line between indie and pro has blurred as many composers and singers have worked their way into the commercial market, including for example, rhythm games like this one. Ryo and supercell are probably one of the most well known example of this kind of dynamic doujin/commercial music landscape and I sure hope you like Ryo, because like 5 of his songs are in this game. That and a whole bunch of OSTER project (LOL futanari).

When vocaloid producers go pro

So how is the first transition of Miku to the rhythm gaming genre? Honestly, pretty piss poor. While I have to give credit to Sega for figuring out how to license and commercialize doujin music, as a rhythm game, this is like the most basic of basic gameplay. Not only can you not use the arrow keys for anything, there are no long notes nor any type of key combination. It's just basically 4 buttons timed pretty much exactly to the lyrics.

I guess it may be a good introduction to the genre for newbs but otherwise, it's about the most simple rhythm game I've ever played. The production value on the visuals are pretty impressive though and if I were to see this in 2009, I probably would have been floored with the PSP (#BAE) graphics. However, in today's standards, it's you know, just standard PSP graphics and the frame rate gets a bit choppy when too much stuff is going on in the background.

Not exactly the best gameplay to put it mildly
As for the song list, I can't be too harsh on it given that there's a far smaller Miku library in 2009 compared to today but I guess if you like Ryo, then you can't go wrong with this game. Personally, I only liked a few jazzy tunes and Dear Cocoa Girls. The rest of the songs were honestly pretty meh.

Notice panchira is not blacked out in the good ol days unlike Miku VR (damn SJWs)

Technically, being able to change dynamic character models with modules was definitely new for a rhythm game. I did not unlock all the modules because the swimsuit ones are just pure grind but had fun unlocking the majority of them. The swimsuit ones are BS though because you have to play ALL songs and score Great or above for each character. I did it once for Miku and was pretty much done.

There's a couple other modes such as unlocking accessories for the Miku room but I didn't really see much point in it. You can also see an art gallery of all the Miku fan art used in loading screens and whatnot which I guess is cool for the fans. I mean, imagine if your fan art was picked up for a Miku game?

Note to self: don't quit day job to become home decorator
Score: 2... ok ok, +.5 moe bonus point cause Miku snow module is so damn cute (moeeeee) out of 5 (12 hours to beat)

I think the whole idea behind the game (by the fans etc.) is really cool given that a similar thing would be totally impossible in the US thanks to greedy record executives and their lawyer sharks. Yeah, the first game kinda sucks balls but it's still a good start to a long running series that gets much better later on. Miku is still as cute as ever too. Oh yeah, and there's NO AUTO SAVE!!! I lost my entire first session because I was too new school and didn't know I had to save my game manually.

Additional screenshots before they're confiscated by the SJW police in our future dystopia.

Gosh, cute ain't she?
No seriously, so cute!
So pure and innocent
Wait, why are the feds at my door?
No, you don't get it, it's MOE!
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely