Kairisei Million Arthur（乖離性ミリオンアーサー）

Let me tell you a story about a foolish gamer who for some reason no sane individual can surmise decided to go about collecting all the trophies for Karisei Million Shits Arthur. He got all the way up to the last gold trophy which involves collecting 100 yes ONE HUNDRED Ultra Rare cards. He gave up on this stupidly repetitive task for many months until a collaboration event with Peach Beach Splash gave out 5 ultra rare cards with 20 名声, the equivalent of 100 identical cards. Giddy with excitement and disbelief he laughed at the fools for essentially giving away the gold trophy. Without hesitation, he went ahead and maxed out by combining all 5 cards but alas no trophy??!!

The tragic folly and downfall of a foolish gamer

With a pounding heart and shaking hands, he looked at the card details to discover to his shock and dismay that it had only gone up to 90 instead of 100. The fucking UI only said MAX so he had forgotten he needed to max out the level of one of the 5 cards FIRST, then evolve it to Million Rare, and THEN combine the other cards as Ultra Rare cards only have a max of 90 名声. Screaming in frustration and anger, this foolish gamer, instead of deleting this piling heap of garbage, decided FUCK YOU SQUARE, I'm going to do this the hard way. He then proceeded to waste his life away for the next 10 days until he finally achieved his empty, meaningless, and pathetic goal.

The end result of a fool's quest and his loss of valuable time and life

Oh, and I think there's a game in there somewhere.

Score: 0 fuck you fuck you fuck you Square Enix out of 5.

Some of the cards have cool art, I'll give it that. But I think it's ridiculous they still haven't finished the main storyline 9 months after release. Whatever, the story is meh anyways. I DON'T CARE.

Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely

High School DxD: New Fight（ハイスクールD×D NEW FIGHT）

I was actually surprised to hear this game was going out of service back in July. Maybe boobs don't always sell after all. Welp, here we go again with the trophy deadline shit...

Surprisingly not enough to generate a profit apparently

I can't tell you anything about the anime except that it's the worst anime of all time. Did I watch it? No, of course not but I can tell just by looking at the Wikipedia page as a Puritan born again Christian rock gamergate supporter.

I would never play this filth, nuh uh, no way siree

Anyways, the game itself is a standard card battle F2P, boobie microtrans shitfest but as least the Platinum trophy wasn't too time consuming. OH RIGHT, I NEVER GOT THE PLATINUM BECAUSE OF A STUPID TROPHY GLITCH.

Exactly how I felt with the trophy glitch except you know not in a nurse costume

One of the easier trophies would not trigger for the life of me and I even had a back and forth with support about it. Unfortunately, they replied that a fix would require an update which they weren't going to do because DUH, the service was due for imminent shutdown.

You know how many games I bought from you fuckers?

Score: -1 Fuck it, let's set up a whole new score category for this atrocity out of 5

More screenshots to reflect on the folly of your ways.

Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely

Million Arthur （拡散性ミリオンアーサー）

It seems every time I log into PSN, there's some crazy event going on for Kakusansei Million Arthur that just begs me to start it up again. I can't explain the stupid, STUPID part of our brains that makes you feel obsessed at the notion of missing out on some stupid digital cards because of some anime characters in skimpy clothes.

Don't fall for this SHIT!

This strategy is working so well for Square Enix that they now even have a 18+ version (smartphone only of course). The fact that the app is region-locked has absolutely NOTHING to do with the fact that I refuse to play it...... just saying.

I can't play this cause of region-loc... umm... I mean cause nudity is offensive

Anyhoos, there's some sort of story in this game but really WHO CARES? It's another "free" (emphasis on the quotes) game that requires you to play 5 minutes every 3 hours like one of those poor guys that has to go outside to smoke in the dead of winter. If you've never played a gacha game (gotcha SUCKER!), then I advise you to DON'T start. It's so sinister that one form of gacha called コンプガチャ was so addictive and ruining people's lives that it was eventually banned.

Sigh... I guess this is what gaming is about nowadays. Basically, just some crazy psychological experiment to see how companies can exploit some addictive part of our brains. Then dangle some "RARE" stuff that you MAY get if you spin the wheel enough times after you cough up as much money as possible. It's like some evil digital form of crack or I guess just plain gambling without all those pesky regulations and taxes. As proof, the 10,000 yen ticket for this game was ONE OF THE MOST POPULAR DIGITAL ITEMS ON PSN.

Yeah, I can boast that I didn't spend a single penny on this piece of crap but the disruption on my time and schedule is far more valuable then what a measly single $60 full priced game would have cost.

Even if you don't spend a single penny on this "game", Square Enix has a really nice gig going on because they also do TONS of cross promotions for other games and I'm sure that kind of marketing doesn't come free (more moola for Square Enix). If you're wondering where Square Enix is making all their money nowadays, here's your answer.

Please give me all your money for poor ol' squeenix-chan?
Pwetty plea$$$e, OK? Tee Hee!

Score: 0 FUCK OFF, I'M NOT DOWNLOADING THIS SHIT AGAIN points out of 5.

You may be asking, if I gave it a score of ZERO, then why did I 100% it??
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Shaddup

Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely