Let me tell you a story about a foolish gamer who for some reason no sane individual can surmise decided to go about collecting all the trophies for Karisei Million Shits Arthur. He got all the way up to the last gold trophy which involves collecting 100 yes ONE HUNDRED Ultra Rare cards. He gave up on this stupidly repetitive task for many months until a collaboration event with Peach Beach Splash gave out 5 ultra rare cards with 20 名声, the equivalent of 100 identical cards. Giddy with excitement and disbelief he laughed at the fools for essentially giving away the gold trophy. Without hesitation, he went ahead and maxed out by combining all 5 cards but alas no trophy??!!
The tragic folly and downfall of a foolish gamer
With a pounding heart and shaking hands, he looked at the card details to discover to his shock and dismay that it had only gone up to 90 instead of 100. The fucking UI only said MAX so he had forgotten he needed to max out the level of one of the 5 cards FIRST, then evolve it to Million Rare, and THEN combine the other cards as Ultra Rare cards only have a max of 90 名声. Screaming in frustration and anger, this foolish gamer, instead of deleting this piling heap of garbage, decided FUCK YOU SQUARE, I'm going to do this the hard way. He then proceeded to waste his life away for the next 10 days until he finally achieved his empty, meaningless, and pathetic goal.
The end result of a fool's quest and his loss of valuable time and life
Oh, and I think there's a game in there somewhere.
Score: 0 fuck you fuck you fuck you Square Enix out of 5.
Some of the cards have cool art, I'll give it that. But I think it's ridiculous they still haven't finished the main storyline 9 months after release. Whatever, the story is meh anyways. I DON'T CARE.
Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely
So I guess this is what gaming has come down to nowadays, huh? Spin up an online, free-to-play game, only to shut it all down less than a year later. Of course, I'm a sucker for this shit because I can't stand having a game that I can't finish on my profile (Resistance 2, I'm talking about you). So here we go, it's time to marathon Seiken Densetsu, RISE OF MANA.
Here we go again with this gacha shit
The only positive thing I have to say about this game is at least you can finish it relatively painlessly. Pair up with some crazy lvl 95 dude who OBVIOUSLY is way cooler than you and lives a highly fulfilling life and the other dude will take care of everything for a while. There's even some people with Metallica (no I'm not talking about the band, oh RIGHT, they changed her name to Metallia for Merica). I guess I missed the NIS collab event but whatever, who cares.
Am I jealous I missed this? NOT AT ALL!
And here's where I think this game failed ultimately. Doing a collab event took way too much work. You have to create a 3D model and have it you know... be PLAYABLE??? Compare that to million shit arthur where you can drum up some illustrations, maybe throw a few seconds of voice acting at it, slap some card numbers on it and call it a day. Even PSO2 collab events is mostly just costumes and weapons from my understanding, plus PSO2 is a way bigger game in terms of scale.
Rise of Mana is just a shitty gacha mobile port that takes FOREVER to load and is filled with useless filler missions such as, "Hey, I dropped some shit in a cave. Can you go pick it up?" It doesn't even have voice acting for the main story which even million shit arthur had.
Congrats, you got some useless shit. Hope you didn't pay real money for it
Near chapter 17, the lvl 95 pal wasn't cutting it and I started dying. Of course, you can use gems or some shit to revive yourself (bargain deal at ONLY 100 yen). But you get free gems for beating the missions so I hit up the gacha and upgraded my weapons. I finished chapter 20 in a matter of a few days and while I'm not technically finished with all 30 chapters, my trophies told me I could put this shit down for good.
If this looks like fun to you, trust me, it isn't.
Score: 1 at least you don't have to spend months to reach level 109 for yet ANOTHER round of trophies, yeah I'm talking about you fucking million shit arthur out of 5.
The story is meh, the gameplay is meh, the music is meh, the Japanese gaming industry lately is meh. But at least I got some goddamn trophies.
Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely
It seems every time I log into PSN, there's some crazy event going on for Kakusansei Million Arthur that just begs me to start it up again. I can't explain the stupid, STUPID part of our brains that makes you feel obsessed at the notion of missing out on some stupid digital cards because of some anime characters in skimpy clothes.
Don't fall for this SHIT!
This strategy is working so well for Square Enix that they now even have a 18+ version (smartphone only of course). The fact that the app is region-locked has absolutely NOTHING to do with the fact that I refuse to play it...... just saying.
I can't play this cause of region-loc... umm... I mean cause nudity is offensive
Anyhoos, there's some sort of story in this game but really WHO CARES? It's another "free" (emphasis on the quotes) game that requires you to play 5 minutes every 3 hours like one of those poor guys that has to go outside to smoke in the dead of winter. If you've never played a gacha game (gotcha SUCKER!), then I advise you to DON'T start. It's so sinister that one form of gacha called コンプガチャ was so addictive and ruining people's lives that it was eventually banned.
Sigh... I guess this is what gaming is about nowadays. Basically, just some crazy psychological experiment to see how companies can exploit some addictive part of our brains. Then dangle some "RARE" stuff that you MAY get if you spin the wheel enough times after you cough up as much money as possible. It's like some evil digital form of crack or I guess just plain gambling without all those pesky regulations and taxes. As proof, the 10,000 yen ticket for this game was ONE OF THE MOST POPULAR DIGITAL ITEMS ON PSN.
Yeah, I can boast that I didn't spend a single penny on this piece of crap but the disruption on my time and schedule is far more valuable then what a measly single $60 full priced game would have cost.
Even if you don't spend a single penny on this "game", Square Enix has a really nice gig going on because they also do TONS of cross promotions for other games and I'm sure that kind of marketing doesn't come free (more moola for Square Enix). If you're wondering where Square Enix is making all their money nowadays, here's your answer.
Please give me all your money for poor ol' squeenix-chan?
Pwetty plea$$$e, OK? Tee Hee!
Score: 0 FUCK OFF, I'M NOT DOWNLOADING THIS SHIT AGAIN points out of 5.
You may be asking, if I gave it a score of ZERO, then why did I 100% it??
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Shaddup
Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely
