The last Seiken Densetsu game I played was that gacha mobile port shit RISE of MANA, which definitely left a sour taste in my mouth. So naturally I went and bought the Vita port of the mobile remake of the first game in the series. After all, this game has the same janky mobile graphics like the last one I hated so gotta buy it, right? (Gamer logic 101)
Concept art looks great but a Gameboy doesn't have the specs to-, wait what? $700 iPhone? ...oh.
Now that I actually played through the game that I bought almost 3 years ago on $ale (no doubt for more than the current list price), I'm happy to report that it's actually still (almost) a real game unlike RISE of MANA. I say almost because this game is so easy, you can practically play with your eyes closed or I guess poke at your screen like some lab monkey as intended for the mobile folks. The graphics don't look so hot either. I may even go as far as to say you may as well stick with the OG Gamboy sprites. Yeah yeah, once again the Switch probably got the better deal with the whole collection of the original games, don't worry I'm already moving off of the Censorstation (but the trophies...).
25 years of technological advances and this is what we end up with?
As for the gamplay, the bosses are so easy this game is kind of like Sekiro except it's like you switched places with the bosses and they only get one try to kill you. I know cause I totally beat and can write a "review for Sekiro". (← Google, please rank this part) In fact, instead of the pro journalists that used a cheat to beat it, I'm so efficient, I beat it by watching somebody use the cheat. Actually I didn't even watch it, I count one of the views of somebody else watching on Youtube as me beating the game, I'm super pro like that. Uh where was I? Oh yeah the gameplay.
It's cool, it's just a game- wait... is this like... your job? Oh... wow.
I'm not sure about the difficulty but everything else seems to be a faithful port of the original so I did have to look up a guide when I got stuck in a few places as this is old school "You stuck? Well I guess you fucking stuck then" type of game. It's pretty ridiculous when one NPC says "Yeah, why don't ya get your ass out there and try flare on dem rocks 'till you find em hidden entrances like?" Other than getting stuck, it was a pretty simple game that I finished in a little under 12 hours. It was a bit annoying that you have to constantly switch out stuff from your menu. The 3 quick slots helped but I could have used like 6 slots, especially one for those goddamn fucking annoying keys.
Going back to the Jhipster agenda, let's discuss the localized title Adventures of Mana. Now you can play as Mana going on countless amazing adventures, wait, that's not a character? It's what? But the grammar... fine whatever.
This first game of what non-Jhipsters call the Mana series is also a Final Fantasy spinoff hence the localized title Final Fantasy Adventure for the original game. Now, you may be inclined to think that it's a spinoff in name for marketing purposes only like the Final Fantasy Legend series but no, it's a real spinoff with Moogles and Chocobos.
Aww so cute, sorry about your legs oh spoilers
In fact, in the GBA "new testament" remake, they removed all the FF stuff and made it a proper Seiken Desetsu game. However, this is definitely NOT that game so not sure why they changed the English name but once again, we are not new to localizers who don't know jack here at Jhipster land.
As for this original GB remake, I found the story had some good moments. Yeah, it's a Gameboy faithful remake so the dialogue isn't going to win the Pulitzer eg "Ugh, I'm dead. Croak." but it wasn't bad and had kind of an interesting ending (again "for a GB game" being the key caveat).
The script says "don't die!" but the face says "whatever"
I did find it funny for the best part of the story, they still decided to censor one item you need from Medusa blood to tears instead. This game obviously was loved by the JP kids back in the day because there's a whole page of details of how in the original game, you get experience for the end of the Medusa boss potentially putting up an awkward "You leveled up ze" message, ruining a touching moment. No worries, they fixed that "bug" in this remake.
Amanda, is she going to be a girl you hook up with? Play to find out!
Overall, I found Seiken Densetu - Final Fantasy Gaiden to be a standard old school portable title, something to kill time or to decompress while playing a "real" game. It's a really good Gameboy game, one that probably deserves a 3 or even 3.5 score in its day. However, on the Vita with these graphics and zero difficulty, it's a mediocre experience overall. The title screen music is great though at least.
The rest of the OST unfortunately was not as good as the title screen
Score: 2.5 buckets of blood out of 5 (12 hours to beat, 16 for plat)
Now if you'll excuse me, I have like 5 hours of grinding left killing scores of elephants to get the rest of the trophies since it's SOOO much fun and yes, I totally have a life (not really). OMG, killing elephants, what kind of message is that sending our kids? I demand this game be taken down immediately! Oh excuse me... what? We only care about censoring sex? But that's a natural part of our species... uh huh... uh ok I understand... Stay tuned for our extensive coverage of MK11, the hottest new game just released!
Don't forget to only pick Warrior and Mage to be able to unlock all 99 stats trophies!
Good thing the Auto save works as well as it does (shitty mobile port)
Oh, does this lead into the sequel? I haven't played that since before my Jhipster evolution.
Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely
There seemed to be a kind of rhythm game dark ages for a few years where the only console games coming out were what I call "play alongs", basically the video game equivalent of a tambourine at karaoke. Bemani (Konami) pulled out of the home console market and Neowiz was MIA after DJMAX Technika Tune. So naturally I was excited when Deemo was announced, a new rhythm game for the Vita. I was less excited to learn soon after that it was a port of a mobile game but I was resigned to the realities of this iPhone mobile shit fest era. Rayark is a Taiwanese developer (or Chinese according to China but let's not get into THAT whole mess) but of course, as a Jhipster, I played the Japanese version.
The Japanese VA for this Taiwanese game is Ayachi #BAE
The Vita version I believe added those nice animation cut scenes and while they are silent, there are a few lines of dialogue voiced by cutie Taketasu Ayana in-game. I dug the stylish presentation at least much more than what they're teasing for the upcoming WTF 3D remake on PS4. Overall, I enjoyed the simple story and presentation even though all the songs are basically a black background.
I'll take this over the 3D shit, thank you
The gameplay is very simple and this is a definitely a good rhythm game for casuals. Being a mobile port, you basically touch the keys when they reach the line. The yellow keys don't require a tap meaning you can do some very satisfying slides.
Ooh, this is going to be so satisfying
The piano is a major part of the story so all the songs have a piano track which naturally means that the music is not quite as varied as other rhythm games. Of course, they managed to sneak some dubstep in because how will I live without more dubstep? (barf) Overall, I thought the included songs were pretty good though nothing super memorable except for Sakura iro no yume; I must've played that shit like over 10 times.
This reminds me of some song from a Ghibli movie
Though the Vita version had a decent amount of songs, the rate at which they unlocked was way too slow meaning you ended up playing a lot of the same songs again and again. There are a handful of songs unlocked playing the After Story and they offered the Shattered Memories DLC for free but it only unlocks after you beat the game. This means I finally got a whole bunch of songs only after I was kind of already over the game. And of course, you can't help but feel cheated now that the Switch version is out with ALL the DLC which I imagine is a crazy number of songs. No trophies on the Switch but who cares about that shit, not me!
While full combo is pretty easy, it's a BITCH to get 100% (Silver trophy)
Oh well, who knows if Switch is even fun to play with that size and weight. The Vita 2000 was a perfect size for me to swipe away while holding the thing laying in bed, something I can't say applies for the Switch. #NotSaltyOkALittleSalty Also, for some reason the fully animated cut-scenes from the Vita version appears to be missing, going back to the original still images. The Vita version may be worth it just for that if you can get it on sale (not on a $ale like when I bought it).
I can't recommend Vita version over Switch (even though it's better)
Score: 3 fine, I guess it's time to switch to the Switch, ugh out of 5
Overall I had a fun time with the game and it's a solid title for the cost I paid in yen (it was on $ale). Obviously my score might have been higher if all the DLC was included like the Switch version. I just wish that the keys actually made the music. In some segments, there's an echo if your timing is off so your skill does have minor affects on the music and the the Duet mode actually seemed better in this regard but overall, it sounds mostly the same whether you play well or not. Definitely no DJMax here. (Please don't ask me how I played Duet mode with no friends.)
Having finished this a full 2 years after I bought it, the rhythm game market is hotter than ever. Not only did Neowiz knock it out the park with fucking amazing DJMax Respect, Sega lost their shit and released the double whammy Future Tone and Future Sound. Well Konami is still fucked but otherwise, it's definitely a good time to be an oto-gamer and Deemo was a good palette cleanser for the dry years.
You'll need to google the meaning after you beat (spoiler warning)
I mean honestly, does ANY game need more CV than just Aya-nyan?
Oh those Taiwanese devs, they're so funny
Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely
I probably beat FF4 more times than any other RPG as a kid. I definitely remember grinding all my characters up to level 99. Oh to be a kid again and have all that time to waste! I don't remember if I owned the game or rented it but it would be quite an achievement to grind to level 99 on a weekend. Gotta love them negligent parents! Back in my day, parents didn't need to watch or love their kids. Look at me, I turned out just fine!
Parental neglect has never been more hilarious!
I decided to play the DS version this time because I heard it was the hardest version (cause I'm hardcore gamer). Right away, I could tell the difference in the first battles outside Baron. Each enemy took 2 hits to kill (or 1 jump) and they hit back for around 30 damage. Without using a potion, you wouldn't make it past more than 5 or 6 battles. Still, I felt most of the game was fairly balanced until the last dungeon. Phoenix downs are plentiful for a reason as bosses will kill your party members more often than not.
Yeah, shit is easy here but just wait...
This is the first FF game with the famed ATB (active time battle) system and while I didn't really think much of it at the time playing the easy type for westerners rpg newbs version as a kid, playing the DS version really ups the tension and excitement. For the harder boss battles, it becomes a race against time as you frantically revive your party members and try to time heals so that it happens right after they're revived and before the boss kills them again. In particular, there is one really cheap boss battle that starts with everybody dead except Cecil and someone (wearing green) who joins you last minute under-leveled as fuck.
Even the box art screams "easy type for whiney babies!!!"
The battle system in FF4 is one of the most innovative RPGs for the time which is why I'm really more in the FF camp over DQ because I appreciate when developers try new shit even if it's totally broken at times (*cough FF8 cough*). The ATB isn't the only thing to rave about. I remember being giddy with excitement when I figured out you can bypass reflect by reflecting spells on yourselves (or vice versa for healing). Don't forget about casting float for enemies that spammed quake, and that annoying dungeon where you couldn't use metal equipment. Sure FF3 had similar neat ideas such as casting mini to enter tiny dungeons but here it actually affects the game play and makes it so much fun to play (sometimes annoying too). However, it definitely falls behind other games like FF6 in the story department.
On the DS, the graphics are way shittier than this #PSP-fanboi
Playing as an enlightened Jhipster, I was hoping to be wowed by all the brilliant prose in its pure, unadulterated Japanese form. Unfortunately, there's nothing the English translation really left out in terms of story. Sure, no more "spoony" bards but 「黙れ、貴様！」 isn't exactly Shakespearean prose. It's funny how we used to think as kids that NOA was censoring all these naughty curse words with "spoony" but really Japanese doesn't have much in terms of swearing in the English sense. "Shut up, (derogatory and rude version of) you!" doesn't really translate to any kind of swearing. The "oh we're cool cause we didn't censor the curse words" fake marketing makes Barret from FF7 seem juvenile and sophomoric now.
The one big thing I noticed playing as a Jhipster is that the pub in Toroia is a freakin' hostess club! It never says it outright but there's a Mama on the first floor and the second floor is dedicated to pretty oneechans talking to men. I know a fucking hostess club when I see one (not that I've been to one cause ya know I don't gotta pay to talk to the ladies).
I bet Japanese script is "I'll kill you and fuck your skull!" #CENSORSHIP
I really enjoyed the story as a kid, what with you starting out as a cool black knight and the whole Mist village thing. As an adult, maybe it's because I played this game too many times but I felt that the writing was a bit too juvenile and the voice acting in the DS version was pretty damn generic. I mean c'mon, how many times you gonna let Kain's shit slide? Really?!
I mean seriously, C'MON!!
I really wished they had a hard mode for the PSP version because the graphics are way better and the spell effects look so cool. The DS is the usual pixelated mess of course. Yeah, it had some new mechanics such as the decant thing (shrug) and some token multiplayer feature that I naturally ignored completely having no friends IRL. If it wasn't for the lack of difficulty, I would suggest the PSP version over the DS any day (don't even get me started on the iOS port).
Score: 3.5 get these muthafucking spoony snakes off this airship! out of 5 (53 hours to beat)
Also includes all the time lost dying in the last dungeon #gitgud
FF4 was one of my favorite games of all time for quite a while. The original SNES version was one of the best looking, sounding, and funnest RPG of its time and would easy be a 4 or even 4.5 score. However, playing through the DS version again in modern times, I have to say that it's definitely a fun game to play but also a bit dated in terms of the plot. Still, definitely a classic that I would consider a must-play for RPG aficionados.
Still one of my fav boss themes to this day
Currently, I am enjoying the after years and actually intended to write about it here along with the main game. However, after playing the interlude for about 5 hours and 3 hours on the first scenario, I'm hoping there's enough content to justify a whole post by itself. We'll see.
Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely
So I started playing Taiko no Tatsujin Portable 2 on the PSP soon after I purged the first one out of my collection and I have to say this one is gonna be really tough to dump because I actually really like the game. There's no better way to flash back to the good ol' days than playing some numa numa on the PSP.
YT before it turned to commercial pedo shit
First of all, the sequel has quite a few more songs than the first Taiko Portable, many of them recycled DLC put on UMD. It's actually not a bad thing because all the online stuff is dead so at least some of the lost DLC is preserved. Having said that, I wouldn't be surprised if many of the missing DLC can be found on newer Taiko games on some console. The first game would have been a lot better if all this shit wasn't DLC to start with. In fact, two of my favorite songs in this game were originally DLC: 画竜点睛 and 真・画竜点睛. I just loved those songs because it was actually music meant for taiko drums.
Not the PSP version but I'm too lazy to record my own
Anyway, it was a good trip back in time to 2006 nostalgia salaryman overtime years with Hirai Ken's Pop Star, slutty Koda Kumi, and who can forget MOSKAU soramimi flash vid for some extra nostalgia tears. For you kids, flash was how we old folks made funny videos because as far as we knew, it was impossible to stream video unless you wanted to torture yourself with Real (ass) Player.
Oh and don't forget those stick fighting flash vids!!
Aaaah, the good ol' days when J-pop wasn't filled with all this creepy ass idol predatory sales tactics using underage girls. Sure there was Morning Musume but I don't recall idiots buying and dumping hundreds of momusu CDs into the trash just so they can get some idol election votes, live concert lottery tickets, borderline prostitution hand shaking event, or whatever else they stuff in the CD trash. Top of the music charts indeed.
Score: 3 don't forget to sign up for the AKB48 app so you can get personalized text messages for a small fee from a teenage girl, no it's not creepy at all! out of 5
Um so yeah, so talking about games. Yeah, I had a good time with Taiko Portable 2. Even though I could only clear around 7 stars on Oni difficulty, I did get up to Tatsujin rank. There's also a story mode about a girl's piano recital which was cute, as well as, more mini games which you know, are mini games. Even though, as I said, the Taiko series isn't my favorite type of rhythm game, I definitely had fun with this one and will probably come back to it after I play through more of these games to knock out some of those 8-10 star crazy hard songs.
Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely
Let's talk about my gaming habits because this is valuable information that I must leave on the internet for prosperity. As you can plainly tell, I'm pretty far behind on almost every popular game series that has continued beyond the PS1 era. As I mentioned, I was too poor to have more than a couple games as a kid and I also had a pretty long blank when I was preoccupied with real life and trying to figure out jobs n shit. So these days, I'm mostly playing "retro" games (as the kids call em) while for some stupid reason still buying new shit cause you know, nowadays games are strictly, totally, "if you don't buy like RIGHT NOW it's incinerated so nobody else can ever have it" limited.
Oh I'm sure this collector plays ALL his games (wink wink)
Unfortunately unlike the hoarders collectors on social media, I can't afford a giant room filled with games so that means I often have to go through all the shit I bought and figure out what needs to go and at last we get to the topic on hand which is today's game: Dancing Blade: Katte ni Momotenshi II.
As I noted when I played the first game, these "games" are basically animes with a few selectable clips that can be beaten in under an hour. So when more packages showed up at my door, I knew it was time to go load this anime up and get it prepped for the Gamestop dumpster.
Liked the cover but you know, I ain't got a game room, much less a game house.
I don't know how well the first game sold (lol the poor sods paying 5800 yen on day one) but they were probably planning on this sequel anyway as evidenced by the sneak preview in the first game's omake. It's pretty much the exact same system and once again no way to skip segments you've already seen. In fact, I'm now starting to think the lack of skip capability was intentional as it would be pretty laughable to charge full price and have the poor suckers manage to watch every clip in a little over an hour.
Of course, that just means you're multitasking and waiting instead of just being done with it. In fact, because this game has 7 endings, 3 more than the original, it means even more time wasted. More endings would suggest that there's more content but remember the only difference is a short clip at the end. It has the same number of discs and is still essentially 2 OVAs depending on the first choice. This time you can either decide to stay in the city for the main scenario or go to the sea. Actually, two of the endings were tricky to figure out because you have to go through both scenarios.
What if you eat burritos instead of ramen? That could totally be a life changer! (not really)
At least in this final Momotenshi game, you get some kind of conclusion. I didn't get into the plot for the first game but the whole premise of your journey is that you are trying to find out why Momo was born from a giant peach. The first game pretty much ignored that objective in both stories so at least this time they answered some questions. Unfortunately, I couldn't give a rat's ass about Momo's biological origins so it was pretty much a mediocre anime once again. Oh yeah, I guess you can also enjoy like 10 secs of Suzuna's naked shoulders if that's your kind of thing.
This screen cap does not reflect the core values of this blog.
I noticed Otsu-hime (the girl/mermaid from the sea episode) was voiced by the same girl who did Yue in Memories Off. At the very least, I'll probably check out the drama CD just to get the full franchise experience.
Score: 2 wheeee time to go order some more shit on amazon jp!! out of 5
Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely
Continuing my public service to the internet by providing witty prose about Japanese only games that no other English speaking person in his/her/popular-gender-neutral-pronoun right mind would play, here's part 1 of Iriya no Sora, UFO no Natsu. Fucking finally! I managed to slog, mostly half asleep, through this game, part of DS Dengeki Bunko series aka "oh wouldn't it be cool if the DS was like an ebook reader?" (The answer: not really.)
Kindle? Pfft, not nearly enough moe
While I normally play all my DS games on my New (not actually new) 3DS LL (Jhipster for XL), for games in TATE mode, the heavier model puts too much strain on my delicate gamer wrists so I usually bust out my regular 3DS for these occasions. For those not up on gamer terms, TATE is the weeb term for vertical screen（縦画面）primarily for shooters or shmups as the expert Youtube "gamers" (hoarders) call em. Speaking of shooters, this game comes with one in the form of a mini game that uses the touch pen to target enemies.
Extra weeb cringe if you pronounce TATE like Tater tots.
It was ok, about as good as you'd expect for a mini game hidden in a sound novel. I wouldn't exactly rave about it as some awesome shmup "hidden" gem to BUY NOW BEFORE PRICES SKYROCKET!! Or actually maybe I'll do exactly that as I'm looking to purge this one out of the collection. Anybody want my copy for the super fair price of $99.99?
There's also an annoying quiz mini game with questions about the story. Making even ONE mistake requires you to start over and while you can skip 5 questions they come back around again basically requiring you to memorize every single question anyway. Getting a 100% perfect completion is a fucking ordeal but it unlocks an extra side chapter. I know this because I played through the stupid quiz more times than I'm willing to admit to do a perfect run.
I actually read the whole thing and completed this quiz. Yes, I have no life.
All of the mini games are unlocked by finding cards that are hidden by tapping certain words of interest in the story. The cards naturally can be used for a card battle game that apparently supports up to 4 player multiplayer competition action. I would guess that 4 people with 4 copies of this game unlocked all the cards and got together to play against each other probably exactly zero times in this universe.
As for the meat of the game, which is the book, you can read it for yourself free, provided you're fluent in Japanese of course. I did like the artwork which is primarily the reason why I bought this game in the first place (yeeaah, I need to stop buying shit based on the cover). Unfortunately, the music and sound effects are unremarkable and totally forgettable. In fact, I forgot about them already.
I should've checked Metacritic first (pfft, ya right)
While the reviews are pretty good overall, personally this story was just not for me. It was perhaps too slow paced or maybe a bit too unrealistic for my tastes. I don't know what it is but it did serve as an excellent way for me to knock myself to sleep faster than popping some Benadryl. I really wouldn't recommend this one unless you want to waste 20 hours of your life. Or you can just watch the OVA anime through the magic of Youtube. (Content ID so totally legal, right?) In the end, I really regret wasting my time on this... Alrightly then, onto part 2!!
I'm not sure if I was awake the whole 18 hours...
Score: 2.0 but does it support TATER tot mode?? out of 5 (18 hours to complete)
Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely
You know, I'm just going to start out by saying that the Memories Off series has really started to grow on me. I know it's probably just a simple psychological reaction. When you spend about 100 hours through 3 lengthy games in the same setting, things kind of start to feel endearing and even nostalgic similar to the Trails series.
Spending 100 hours over 3 games (not for "pro" reviewers)
Speaking of Falcom, here we are on the 3rd game and I'm almost starting to feel like Shin is some galge equivalent of Adol. In the first game, he was your buddy in high school. In the second game, you happen to meet Shin after he dropped out of school and moved into the same building. He even got you that part time job over the summer at the family restaurant he was working at to save money to travel to India. This time, you play as a college student and Shin is a buddy that happens to be living nearby after he returned from India.
The guardian angel of galge guiding you to snatch some... um hush money? #MAGA
In the first game, you grew up with 2 girls as childhood friends and some stuff happened involving rain and whatnot. In the second game, you started out already with a girlfriend. This time, you start the game after your girlfriend left you 3 years ago without saying a word. She of course shows up out of the blue near the beginning of the game. Why did she leave? Are you going to somehow get back together or pick one of the other delectable girls you happen to meet? Are you going to be a two-timing asshole like the last game? You'll have to play to find out for yourself!
Oh geez Kanata, now my bed smells like another girl! Febreeze time! (not even joking here)
This game definitely feels a bit different in the beginning maybe because you no longer have a convenient school setting to meet with JKs everyday (damn riaju!) though rest assured, there are still some JKs ripe for the picking. Let's not get into the legal ramifications of being a college student dating JKs, these were simpler times. Or given that this is a clean game, maybe all you did was hold hands and smooch though I find that hard to believe.
16? Well, I guess it depends on which state you live in...
Kidding aside, this 3rd iteration of the series definitely seems more adult even though you're a privileged loser (#onepercent) whose parents apparently have enough money to afford your college tuition, living expenses, and your own private accommodations without you having to earn a dime. No awkward hand made sign to keep roommates out for shagging necessary. But I'm not talking about that kind of adult. What I mean is that the girls are literally adults and have grown-up people problems (eg finance) except for the Kashima sisters and Tama aka the "where the fuck are your parents?" JKs. In the end, this is indeed a Memories off game in all the ways that matter. Every girl has their own life issues and there are tons of great drama to be enjoyed.
But Neo, what about your little sister? You know, the one in a wheelchair???
You'll also have plenty of nostalgia time to see what some of the girls from the previous games have been up to. For example, Yue is still such a sweetheart, you can't help but fall in love with her again. I mean as the player, no you're not going to try to steal the first MC's girlfriend. That's a line the game doesn't cross.
C'mon Yue, ditch that loser from the first game!
Some of the characters are a bit too quirky for me such as Hibiki who seems to have about a first grade education or Tama who seems borderline mentally impaired, her communication skills are so bad. I'm saying that even as a die-hard fan Nagato Yuki fan. Some of girls routes are not as thoroughly fleshed out either. For example, I would have liked to have seen more dere from Isako-chan. Still, for me, this was my favorite Memories Off game so far and I found the true route really took things in a direction I didn't expect. Without getting into details, let's just say this game definitely has some of that rain theme going on. I also liked how this was less of just a straight up galge with a male cast larger than just Shin and one other guy.
Wow, we look so cool! I hope the girls are noticing!
This is another one of those games like most post 90s Japanese visual novels that starts off really slow and frankly kinda boring. However, I would say with the true ending and plot points from other routes that tie neatly together, it's definitely worth the initial slog. Fully recommended renai drama goodness especially if you've played the first two games.
Ahh, the good ol' days!
Score 4 no wait 3, but I can't seem to break up with 4, but 3 is such a sweet number, please 4 take me back after all! Ok, let's average it out to 3.5 #polygamy? out of 5 (36 hours to complete)
Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely
This year is off to a good start as I finally finished the first Neptunia game or rather the remake on the Vita. The original game was actually one of the first games I bought for the PS3 as my first foray into the brave new world of region free gaming. I was so naive back then it was almost comical. I assumed that because the Blu-ray format allowed adequate space for dual audio that they would be selling the same game worldwide. While that was true for some large publishers such as Sony and Sega, little did I know that most everybody else would still essentially region lock games by removing all Japanese text and thereby requiring you to import it anyway.
As usual, fuck NIS America
I remember returning the game to GameStop baffled. After all, why would you want to play in a language that you don't understand? As I had no knowledge of weebs at the time, it made no sense to read English dialogue while listening to Japanese audio. Watching YT, now I know most skip through without actually listening to the Moonspeak. It still doesn't make sense to me but oh well, I guess better to import rather than pay sales tax that'll go toward building a stupid wall anyways. #MAGA What was I talking about again?
Sugoi! I think I heard kawaii in the dialogue!
Oh yeah so anyways, while I thought the original PS3 title was cool at the time with the weird breathing chests, I dropped it when I had to wait for the Lowee continent to connect in order to cross over. Many years later and I finally beatRe;Birth 1, which is totally different from the first game save for the basic premise and plot.
I'm sure I don't need to go over the whole personification of the game industry shtick like every other review out there. I do want to point out that Neptunia is actually called Neptune in Japanese even going as far as using an uncommon katakana combination （テュ） to get the correct phonetic sound (instead of the standard "chu" sound). I have no idea why they changed the name. After all, the Sega Saturn was not called stupid Saturnia. Of course, we're not new to the idea that localizers do stupid things so let's just move on.
Not my problem since I'm fluent in Japanese. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
First, let's talk about the most uninteresting part of the game which is the story and dialogue. Yeah, it's fun for the first few hours to talk about console wars and how the goddess powers are derived from shares but I dunno, I found both Neptune and especially Compa's voices annoying. Sure, you got the queen of tsundere Mingos for Noire and I loved how MAGES. calls her assistant (Christina's VA from Steins;Gate) but a significant portion of the dialogue was a snorefest.
LOL 助手 (sorry non-jhipsters)
Coming from a guy that liked listening to hours of Yuri dialogue about tea and snacks, I have to say you can only talk about purin so much in one game. Besides the filler dialogue and silly gags, I found the main plot was pretty boring as well. Other than fun game industry references, I didn't get much from the story except the message that piracy is bad mkay?
I mean I love purin as much as the next gal but I don't pontificate about it
Fortunately, the game play is much more interesting in that it's just broken. IGNorant once again proves that their "pro" reviewers don't actually play the games they review as one of the few positive points was that this game didn't require grinding. SERIOUSLY?! NO GRINDING?? Did you even bother to finish Chapter 2? Noire is the first example of how broken the progression system is as she will DESTROY you right after another boss battle to add insult to injury. You really do need those life rings as they raise your HP to a ridiculous amount.
It's ok to admit you didn't play. Oh wait you get paid for this? ...oh
The interesting part about this game is that you can pick up specs along the way to tweak the gameplay. It's almost like you're changing the game as you go, adding new dungeons, stronger enemies, etc., which definitely does fit into the whole meta theme. There is technically a limit to how much you can change based on how much "memory" you have but I never got close to running out.
Luckily, IGN probably never got this far. They don't like panties.
As you progress, you can use specs to just lower or increase the difficultly but what's the fun in that? Mostly, I grinded a bit after unlocking new enemies anytime a boss was overpowered (which happens quite a bit). If you don't use those specs, you're going to be grinding for a LOOOONG time. To give you an idea of how ridiculous the balance is, a regular enemy near the end might net you a few thousands exp points while the strongest unlocked enemy I killed netted almost 800,000 exp points. The different in grinding might number in thousands of encounters.
Oooh look at all that booty... er EXP that is!
I also changed my play style once I got 6 characters and discovered that your linked party member's HP recovers over time. Because Compa dies so easily later on in the game, I just swapped members in and out instead of bothering to heal them. Burning a couple discs that prevent status ailments was also really helpful.
The boss battles in the first half of the game also tends to drag out as you have to whittle down their guard before you can really start to do damage. Fortunately, things got a lot better after I used the spec to increase EXE meter charge speed. You hardly ever get to see those flashy EXE attacks until you use that spec. Then you'll be using them all the time (thankfully skippable). A couple of EXE special attacks and you'll break down boss guards in no time!
Tekken-chan hard at work
I thought it was especially hilarious that one of Broccoli's EXE combo skill was Acquarian Age. Yeah I wasn't able to finish that game but I don't think even many Japanese gamers would get that reference. You'll likely crack a few grins from all the game references such as the obvious Metal Gear guy in a box, the DQ rainbow bridges, and Steins;Gate fake phone calls, especially if you're a pro expert gamer like me.
Aaaah Acquarian Age Broccoli reference. Somebody there knows their shit!
Score 3 hey isn't that character from that game voiced by the VA from that franchise that merged with that one developer that went bankrupt that my sister's cousin's husband used to work at? Cool reference! out of 5
This game was a pretty fun time but not SUPER compelling. The dungeons are small and easy to get around. I also like super quirky game mechanics that are playful (RIP Imageepoch) but the main plot didn't get me hooked. There are some good moments and fun characters such as Broccoli (she's adorable nyu) but it's hampered by Compa's super fake and annoying voice. The music was also unremarkable. Overall, it's an solid average enjoyable experience.
At least Broccoli was adorable nyu
The end credits was pretty boss. We gamers are suckers for retro pixel style.
Oh those crazy panty days before the holy ray Cali Sony purge... #Nostalgia
Remember the good ol' days when people wrote blogs instead of sharing fake FB news?
Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely
