Unlike the crazy long title, this is one of those short games that I try to knock out every now and then in order to thin the herd so to speak. Clocking in at under 8 hours, this ADV game for the DS is about 3 girls traveling to hot spring locations for a travel magazine and getting caught up in various mysteries along the way. Be prepared to enjoy much naked deltoids as this game features live photos similar to Machi by Chunsoft. In fact, according to my expert research (Wikipedia), several people were involved in the making of both games.
In the Switch remake, the shoulders are covered by a tasteful cloak
There are 3 chapters in all and each chapter is from the viewpoint of one of the 3 girls. Personally, I thought Satomi was the cutest. Unfortunately, I was unable to find any other games or AV works featuring her. By AV, I mean Audiovisual works of course, you freaking perverts.
Honestly, I'd go out with all three but my standards are low #IncelGamer
The interesting aspect about this game is that it's by Zenrin, a map company that for some reason decided to branch out into video games very briefly. Each chapter features a map of the hot springs town and you have to navigate to the correct location based on clues and whatnot. Ahhh, brings me back to the good ol' days in Japan before smartphones. "So yeah, take the B-2 east exit, make sure to go up the stairs to your right NOT the escalator. Then turn left at the 7-11 and look for a large sign with a blue bird on it. Take a right and look for another 7-11 that doesn't sell oden. Go to the house next door, tap twice loudly, and follow the cat that comes out of the alleyway to the ABC-Mart. My house is just around the corner in the basement of a snack. EASY. Make sure to say hello to the Mama-san on the way in!"
The Zenrin marketing is just annoying enough to make me hate them
The dialogue was interesting enough to read as the girls banter with each other. The mysteries were nothing to write home about but the short length made it mostly tolerable. Interestingly, after you finish each chapter, you can look up more info on the hotels, attractions, and sights of each location. Who knows if any of this information is still accurate but it's interesting for a video game at least.
How the heck am I supposed to check-in from my DS?
Score: 2.5 cheers to much improved modern life thanks to $900 iPhones, $100/month data plans propped up by telecom monopolies, soaring healthcare costs, and... hmm... nm out of 5 (7.5 hours to beat)
Overall, the game was interesting enough, particularly with the tie in to real travel locations. It even came with a giant blue sticker to seal your user registration card for a chance to win a trip for two. Unfortunately, I was just a wee bit too late to apply and missed the deadline.
Proof that yes, I owned this game before dumping it at Gamestop
In the end, did I like this game enough to keep it around? Naw, I need to make some room in my closet for my complete Funko Pop Fortnite collection or whatever the kids are wasting their parent's money on nowadays. Ok, boomer.
I'm so cute! Global warming? Growing wage gap? #MeToo? Eh? ♥️ What's that?
Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely
Continuing on my late "OMG, my phone can emulate old consoles!" discovery thread, I also recently finished Ripple Island. This is a perfect contrast to Hoshi wo Sagashite... because it was released in the same year but on the Famicom. Unlike the doable game by Sega, this is yet another FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE to beat ADV game from SunSoft just like Dead Zone.
FamiCan, like NintenDon't for positive Jhipsters
There's no way I was going to spend hours getting stuck trying to beat this without the help of a guide. Let's all just agree that I don't have enough time in my life to waste and no I'm not talking about having trouble finding time between life's responsibilities any more. I'm literally talking about how much longer I have to live now that I'm old.
Thanks Jacob for putting it all into perspective. Time to play some 30+ year old games!
Ripple Island, in my opinion, is virtually impossible to beat without a guide though maybe slightly less impossible than Dead Zone thanks to the removal of those really specific menu options like "place", "open", "pull", and "pour self some whiskey and cry about squandered youth". The game is split into 5 areas and the first area is super doable. You just gotta walk around, talk to a few folks in the town, pick up your girl, and drug what looks like a gopher. (Whew, good thing PETA didn't have Jhipsters back then!)
Fuck you stout, weasel, whatever you are
As soon as you get past the gopher asshole blocking your way, the King tells you about some lost treasures blah blah defeat evil emperor etc., etc. Then onto Area 2 where the shit hits the fan. To start, you have to knock on one certain tree to get some acorns even though it looks identical to every other tree. You know, there's an unwritten rule in ADV games that necessary items should be distinguishable even if it's just a few pixels. But nope, no respect for the genre here. Hey, why don't you try just knocking on this random tree, identical to every other tree in the fucking FOREST. What, you didn't try every possible action on every possible background item?
Welp, you're fucked. Hope you got a password handy!
Once you know what to do, the game is pretty short so I guess that means it's ok to get completely stuck? There are several points where if you screw up, there is no way to progress, for example, trying to hit on the female fox (you sicko). Another example is not dyeing that fucking white flower red, which by the way is completely hidden in some random bush. I loved (sarcasm) how they bait you with the red flower you can never reach on the cliff. Can you imagine, buying this game at full price on release, and getting forever stuck in Area 2, after playing for like a couple hours? Well, I guess if you were rich enough to be buying Famicon ADV games on release, you could probably afford the strategy guide.
Score: 2 Where is the "fuck" option? What, this isn't a PC88 hentai game? out of 5
Excuse me?? What about my panties?
Anyway, with the help of a guide, it's a cute game with nice visuals and several endings (thank god for save states). The story is simplistic but that applies to every console ADV game I played so far on this generation (PC88 Master Race for the win!). You travel with a cute girl, talk to animals, and ride a giant flying squirrel. What more could you want?
Not even deserving of a squirrel seat? See, this is why we have Incels today.
Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely
Hoshi wo Sagashite... is one of the few ADV games on the Sega Mark III and of course since I wasn't born a Japanese kid with money (curse you, non-Japanese parents!), I had no idea about this game growing up. Hopefully, none of you took my weeb joke seriously because knowing what it's like to live as a Japanese salaryman, let me just say being Japanese isn't all that it's cracked up to be.
Sure, you're having fun now, but wait till you're working 8-9 (no, not 1 hour)
This is one of the few early ADV games that I think is totally beatable without a guide. In fact, I finished it in a few hours with virtually no cheating. I only looked up the minor ending differences. Sure, I putzed around a bit trying to figure out how to order a drink at the bar but mostly if you go around talking to people and banging on stuff, you'll get through it. The menu items are a bit weird such as the option to "eat" even though you don't eat a single thing the entire game. You do have to drink in one part but I guess it would be too obvious if the menu was just "drink".
Yum, fresh meat!
So my screenshots are a little weirdly proportioned because I don't know why I didn't think of this before but the phone is like the perfect platform to knock out these early console ADV games. The shitty touch controls aren't an issue for navigating a menu and it's so handy to just try random shit when you're out doing random shit in real life. Nothing like trying to eat a cat creature with wings that can talk while you're in the checkout line at the grocery store!
Shopping for your GF while shopping for your pretend GF IRL #Gamers
So yeah, this is a pretty cute and simple story about buying an egg for your girlfriend Laila that hatches into the creature you see in the cover. There's really not much to say about the story except I guess maybe environmentalists will get a kick out of it. Mio, the species of that little creature is I guess kinda cute? But let's face it, it's not going to be a grumpy cat or baby Yoda on the social medias any time soon.
Did not sell merchandise or generate even one meme - 0 out of 5 review
Score: 2.5 Yes! This game is not fucking impossible! out of 5
Overall, definitely a neat little title that is probably the best looking ADV game on the system. You'll know what I mean if you look at that Sherlock Holmes game. (My eyes!) Best of all, I loved that it's actually beatable without having to similarly beat your head on a hard surface. Definitely not a bad one to check out on your phone while you're out, presumably doing important stuff in real life (ya right).
And unlike in real bars, she'll actually talk to you!
Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely
A sound novel is a term trademarked by Chunsoft and is really just a fancy word for what some would call visual novels ironically with no voice acting. The sound here is referring to SFX and a novel doesn't really talk to you at least back before Audible became a big thing for busy Millennials. Anyhoo, I figured it was my Jhipster duty to check out Chunsoft's sound novel series starting with Otogirisou. I played the PS1 remake and the intro gives off a really good vibe.
Oh boy, this looks scary!
Unfortunately, the writing doesn't quite live up to the enhanced graphics. You can finish this game in a few hours and is designed to be replayed many times. According to the manual, you should replay at least 10 times to get to the "truly interesting" parts.
Oh man, this DOES look scary!
I thought the idea behind the game was certainly interesting. There are tons of dialogue options (supposedly over 1,000) and while the basic premise of the events are the same, it's slightly different and feels fresh every time. For example, the first playthrough shows a photo of the inside of your car while the next playthrough might have a little animation with trees whizzing by.
I'm a sucker for these old school photos
Unfortunately, the freshness lasts maybe about 4 or 5 playthroughs and you quickly realize it's the same basic scenarios. You're driving in the car with your girlfriend Nami, some accident happens, you happen upon a mansion in the woods, etc. etc. The dialogue options get sillier and sillier as well with tons of cheesy puns and it's clear they don't really reflect on the following dialogue.
Ketchup on your salad eh?
Since these scenes are designed to be stitched together in semi-random order, after the first few playthrough, it was mostly a tedious exercise of holding down circle. No skip option is just such a time sink. One might say it's amazing that the story still holds up together even when it shifts and changes but to me, it just means that the story is not that involved.
The rain moves in the background. It's like a novel but EVOLVED!!
Score: 2 desperately trying to get with your gf no matter how fucked up things get out of 5 (15 playthroughs)
Some of the endings were good and it was interesting somewhat but overall I was underwhelmed. Sometimes it got a bit too silly for me and I just couldn't tell if the game was trying to be scary or funny. It wasn't particularly good at being either.
Unfortunately, the story is just not as scary as this picture suggests
However, being the obsessive compulsive that I am, I couldn't help but find all 10 endings to get the pink bookmark. Due to how the story changes up, there wasn't a clear guide and it wasn't that easy but I soldiered through it. The manual suggests some ecchi fanservice with the pink bookmark but I mean, don't get your hopes up. You're not going to be seeing Corpse Party style low angle shots of a girl hanging in a toilet stall. (You sicko.)
Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely
Persona 3 is my personal record for the game that took me the longest to beat of all time. As I mentioned in my Persona 4 post, I started this game around 2007 before FES even came out and I finally, finally beat the game in 2020. A lot has happened in the 13 years or so since I started this game so holy fuck, it's like I'm closing a chapter of my life, namely, the good one when I was young and dapper. Now onto my next shitty chapter of middle age crisis, bemoaning the good ol' days and being afraid of the social media lashing if I state my opinion on all those pronouns on Twitter. So I guess it's business as usual, same shit as last year.
Back when you could tell the gender of the right side at least
I have kind of a semi-excuse for why the fuck it took me so long. I first played like 40 some hours of Persona 3 and then FES came out so I started over. At least I was able to import my academics, courage, and charm. Of course, since FES added hard mode, I just had to be stupid and play on hard to be "hardcore". Hard mode is no fucking joke so I got stuck a bunch of times because of the grind and plus I rarely have free time to play on a console, anyways, here we are, Happy New Year, it's FUCKING 2020!!!
Went to Hatsumode last week and not a single hottie in furisode just some middle-aged obasans in down jackets... IRL sucks!
Of course, I probably would have finished this game a lot sooner if I opted to play the PSP version. Unfortunately, being on the PSP, there were some significant compromises such as the removal of cut-scenes for a more visual novel type of presentation. Because the Vita didn't exist (RIP), there is no definitive version like Persona 4 Golden. I do intend on replaying the game (again!) at some point much, much later for the portable female MC route. I just have to see if I can steal Junpei from Chidori and promptly throw him away as he's not my type. That's what I would do as a hot anime chick, at least. I thought adding a female MC was a really neat idea and something all games MUST HAVE, YOU SEXIST GAMERS!! SHAME ON YOU!!! or something to that effect.
I mean seriously, it's so EASY! Hex has done it so many times I'm sure!
So yeah, in a nutshell, Persona 3 is a great game. Personally, I liked Persona 4 way more because of DEM FEELS but Persona 4 wouldn't exist without all the mechanics and things inherited from Persona 3. The central theme and concept behind this game is to reflect on our finite lives and the suggestion that maybe you might want to spend your limited time on this mortal coil wisely. You have to juggle your school schedule, social activities, and you get tired in dungeons.
This real life idea permeates throughout the entire game, often to the detriment of the gameplay itself. For example, in real life, you can't just open a menu and make somebody else equip some new items. No, you have to actually go up to your party member and talk to them to change their equipment. Also, in real life, you can't control other people like umm... game characters. No, you have to make suggestions via strategies and they'll decide exactly what they want to do LIKE NOT FUCKING HEALING YOU AND RESULTING IN A SENSELESS GAME OVER!!! And that's the other thing. As soon as you die, it's game over even if someone in your party has the fucking ability to revive you. Of course, P3 Portable "fixed" all these gameplay issues and is more like Persona 4.
The "Control you like the fucking game character you are" Strategy
Personally, I liked the original version better as it reflects a central theme that drives the game as an entire whole package. FES even fixed up some time "loop holes", for example, praying at the Jinja takes up time instead of being a freebie stat increase. I hated having to go to the shrine to pray every day anyway. The only part that is less realistic is that you can go out with like 5 girls and never have to choose one like in Persona 4 (boo). Personally, Mitsurugi is best waifu and we enjoyed a wonderful Christmas together. #CreepyGamer #Weeb
#1 Waifu, no question
Overall, after finishing the game, I had to sit back and reflect on how I spend my precious days as I age past middle age and set one foot in the grave. Then I realized I spent 115 hours of my so called "precious" life PLAYING THIS FUCKING GAME ON HARD! Thanks Atlus for making me feel guilty and ashamed.
Kamiki especially makes you think... about maybe not wasting your life playing Persona 3
Especially at the end, oh my god, the final boss is a fucking nightmare, let me tell you. It's not that it's super hard after I grinded to about level 85, it's just fucking LONG but that's not even the worst of it. Just before he dies, he pulls a cheap move of random status ailments and WITHOUT FAIL somebody gets charmed and heals the fucker to full health. Several hours of whittling away at his HP WASTED. It's like the ultimate slap in the face. On my 5th try, I finally beat the fucker by changing everybody's strategy to attack and popping precious Somas I had hoarded like they were candy. It was probably one of the most frustrating final boss battles I've ever played but oh the rush when I finally put that fucker down.
I BEAT IT! I'M SO COOL! CAN'T WAIT TO TELL MY FRIENDS!! ...oh wait
I also really liked that you can go talk to your maxed out Commus to get the final conclusion of each mini story. But it was like 3 am in the fucking morning when I finally beat the game so I wished I could save before all that shit. You can go to the dorm to save for one more day before your Senpais' graduation but I was afraid I would miss something.
Overall, while I think Persona 4 is the better game, I finally "get" the reason for all the mechanics that we are now familiar with. I think it's safe to say that this is the game that really made the Persona franchise what it is today. While yes, there was some incredibly frustrating moments, I really enjoyed my 13 years of mostly not playing this game.
Hook that Shoji Meguro goodness right into my veins ANY time
As for the music, I loved it even though I wasn't a fan of the rapping (especially in the dorm at night, huh?). I much prefer the more somber music it switches to in January. And sure, there could have been more variety in the tracks for all couple HUNDRED floors of Tartarus stair climbing but I still loved the music overall. (Yes, you can ask Fuka to change up the music in FES but that's still like 5 tracks.)
Too many stairs, time not respected. Score: 0 out of 5 - Shitaku
Score: 4 "You didn't cheat but you still didn't grow. You didn't improve anything of real value. You experience a hollow victory and nothing was gained. Stop playing games and get a fucking life" out of 5 (115 hours to beat)
Even after all this non-time respecting BS, I'm now like 5 hours in Episode Aegis so who knows how long that will take to beat. Also, once again, those silly localizers are up to their usual shenanigan by changing Aegis' name to "Aigis". Why?? I have to say, I briefly watched the English dub and it was so cringe. I have no idea how non-Jhipsters can bear it. "Oh no, You-car-ree chan is hurt!" Oh my fucking god, how the fuck can you guys stand it??
No Japanese weeb VA option is like 0.2 bonus smug points for needing to resort to emulation for the undub. "The Journey"? Pfft, just Episode Yourself localizers (psst, I'm saying "fuck you").
Hey, why don't you do both of us a favor and just Episode Yourself ok??
Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely
Well it's the end of the decade and what better way to end it by playing a classic that is now over 33(!) years old: Zeruda no Densetsu. What a great way to make myself feel freakin' old that is! Yes, here at Jhipster blog, us humble gamers take pride in not playing all that fancy new shit. I didn't buy any new games this year and put them into a hoarder box still sealed and untouched. Nope, totally did NOT do that.
Anyways, I was working on my 1988 GOTY list, checking out Fire Bam on the FDS that vaguely resembled Zelda II and then remembered I never played the first one and so here we are a few days and 7 hours of gameplay later and I'm happy to report that this 33 year-old, out of shape beer belly, middle age crisis Tesla buying game still holds up really well! And no, that description has absolutely no bearing on my personal appearance whatsoever!
Getting off my fat arse to switch to Disk Side B not shown here
This Famicom Disk System launch title really does justify buying an FDS at the time in Japan. The poor Japanese kids wouldn't get the FC version until 1994, years after the Super Famicom was already out! Sure, you have to flip the disk and deal with loading, but it's an amazing game for its time and even more so considering it was one of the launch titles on the system. Now, I obviously haven't played every game before 1986 but I have to believe this is the first action adventure game of this type.
"1 star, don't speak fucking french" -review on Amazon Japan
The title screen has a quick summary of the setting and story in English, I guess because it looks cool? Amazingly, it is grammatically correct and gets the point across. At least they were nice enough to ask you to look at the "book" in their customers' native language. I'm assuming they're referring to the game's manual.
Which button do I press to see this book?
Fortunately, due to the re-release of this game on the Famicom mini console, you can read a beautiful scan by Nintendo themselves (how nice!). I took a look at the English version and they "erroneously" translated Zelda's wet nurse Impa as a "nursemaid". Talk about discriminating against a perfectly legitimate and reputable profession. Time to go wild on Twitter! #CENSORSHIP2019 #BOYCOTTNOW
Kanji for "breast" + "mother" = "wet nurse". See, Japanese is so EASY!
I've always been intimidated by this game as you have pretty much almost full reign of the overworld map with no clear direction on the next destination. There's no giant rock blocking most of the way here until you get the right item to progress, this is old-school. However, playing with a guide, this game is probably just as fun as any of the more modern Zelda games. I don't feel bad about using a guide (sparingly) because honestly some of the hidden shit screams "please subscribe to Nintendo Power" marketing to me. For example, I don't think there was any hint on how to find the Magic sword.
Sure this one was easy to find but try to find the Magic Sword (Google time!)
Once you know which trees to burn with the candle and get a better sword and tunic, I found the difficulty was pretty fair though most of the bosses are pretty easy. I mean of course it is, you play a character that can burn a fucking tree with a candle for god's sakes! The hardest dungeon is probably the 6th level. That weird jelly enemy that steals your magic shield was SO ANNOYING.
The fact that you can only save when you die also really made it hard for me to put the game down (literally). I played the GBA version so no sissy save states or "life of luxury" mode for the privileged kids. Nintendo nowadays is all kid family friendly with the, "oh maybe you should take a break" messages. However, in this game, after you beat a dungeon, you get back all your health as if to invite you to keep playing and that's what I did instead of going to work or being a responsible member of society. Great game, thanks Nintendo!
Score: 4 breast moms out of 5 (7 hours to beat)
Great innovation! Ok, time to make like 20 sequels now!
I have to hand it to Nintendo here. They managed to create an entire new genre on a system launch title, which is really impressive. The open world exploration, smooth and fun action gameplay, this is a game that really wouldn't work on the PC-88/98. Ys doesn't come on PCs until a year later and it's choppy as hell. I missed out as a Sega kid, and only vaguely remember the snake from Golvellius at some other kid's house but I'm pretty sure it's not as good as this game.
There's also great replay value with the second quest after you beat the game for the first time. I haven't played the second quest yet but I still think it's amazing that they included a remix of the whole game. They certainly don't do that anymore at least for free. (Hard mode DLC only 800 yen!)
I definitely think for 1986 in terms of innovation, this deserves a 4 star great game score. The only minor downside is the fact that you need a guide and a lack of variety in the music. The overworld and dungeon themes are great, they didn't grate on my ears even after hours of gameplay. But those are the only two songs you hear the whole game except for the intro screen, the last dungeon, and the ending credits.
Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely
If one of my many, many readers were to ask me which I liked more, Gundam or Macross, I would definitely have to go with Macross. As my long-time readers are aware, I like music so that's a no-brainer for Macross. I also think the battles with Valkyries are cooler, the way they transform to take advantage of each form etc. Though I'm not quite sure the point of the half plane/robot form.
So far, I've only watched the first Macross TV series (all 36 episodes!), Macross Frontier, and the first movie from which this game is based on. The movie is pretty good though the plot is obviously super rushed to fit 36 TV episodes in under two hours. The soundtrack is awesome and the old school hand drawn battle scenes are simply amazing with intricate details we'll likely never see again with all this fancy computer shit these days (old man grumblings).
God, I love this 80s shit!
As for the game, I played the PS1 version and it is a pretty good looking side-scrolling shooter. It also summarizes the movie in between levels with a mix of short animated clips and some audio narration. You may want to watch the movie first before playing the game unless you really want to save yourself time from watching the movie.
Intro cutscene in the game actually takes place before the movie
So yeah, the presentation is pretty good and it plays ok as a game. However, there's only like 11 levels and you can literally beat the whole thing in a day. As a busy, pro reviewer, I love that I can finish the whole game in no time and put it up for sale on ebay. Being a shmup (EXTREMELY RARE!!! BID NOW!!!), I'm hoping to make a little profit by selling this back. Sooo glad I didn't waste that money on an S&P 500 ETF fund, making market average returns like a real adult.
The graphics are pretty good for a PS1/Saturn game
Now, I'm not like a super expert shooter gamer. Sure, I played the shit out of Astro Warrior as a kid and almost beat U.N. Squadron (rented, never owned unfortunately) and as a typical gaming hoarder, I have a stack of games to play one of these days. But even as a novice to the genre, I really wouldn't say this was a good shooting game. It's more about experiencing the movie via a video game like one cool part where you play it sideways. (Is playing a side-scrolling shooter on the side actually like playing it straight? Here at Jhipster Gamer, we tackle life's most important questions!)
1st level again, I assure you I beat the game, just not on an emulator for screenshots #FakeGamer
I mean, yeah, it's technically a game. For instance, you can change forms and I guess it kinda matters because only the robot form can shoot backwards and when the boss is in background but really, it doesn't matter for the most part. Mostly, you'll just be constantly holding down and releasing the square button to fire like a million missiles. There's also not a lot of room for you to maneuver because you take up so much of the screen. This becomes particularly apparent when the Meltrandi show up.
Score: 2.5 prepare to be humming those damn catchy 80s tunes for a while out of 5 (optional 0.5 bonus Jhipster smugness points for never having to know what the fuck Robotech is)
Captain, we have Harmony Gold USA on target, permission to fire?
Overall, despite not being a very good game, it's a pretty nice package as long as you didn't pay full retail price for a few hours of gameplay. I played through it twice on normal and hard and I was like, "Meh, I guess it was fun." At the very least, it gave me a good reason to finally finish watching the movie. I felt bad for Minmay, I would definitely marry her or even Iijima Mari if she wasn't like 60 now. Sigh...
Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely
I pride myself on never buying games at full retail price on release but gosh darn, I liked Criminal Girls INVITATION so much that I couldn't resist pre-ordering the sequel with scented eyemask, etc. (Still smells good!) I did however inexplicably manage to resist shelling out for the spanking stick (I dunno even what to call it) as tempting as the notion of owning such a great collector's item would be for my game collection (plz, plz pick up on the sarcasm).
Oh hi hunny, didn't see you there! Oh this? It's nothing, just my new video game
But alas, before even starting the game, I knew that it would be missing that Imageepoch magic that's so hard to measure called "fun". I played it for a few hours and dropped it due to its grindy nature and the slightly off putting character design. Now, almost 4 years later, I finally grinded the plat out in about 50 hours. NIS released a patch soon after release to add a "Casual" mode probably realizing their "Normal" difficulty was the equivalent of "it's just like Dark Souls!" mode in other RPGs. Still, I managed to resist the temptation to lower the difficulty all the way up to the final true boss.
After grinding for a few more hours, I tried to beat the last boss at level 51 but it kept healing itself faster than I could damage it so I eventually cracked and set it to casual. Yeah yeah, I know, gamer fail. Maybe now, I can finally be a pro reviewer and actually make some money. At least you get a ton of exp so I did eventually beat it on normal at level 56 after beating it in casual 4-5 times. Yes, you have to beat the final boss and true final boss 8 times each (16 total) to watch all the endings. Ugh.
This is just like that time I beat Sekiro without using my hands
The endings aren't even all that great. It's like one CG per girl (reused twice) and some bit of dialogue. The other major disappointment was the lack of content after the final boss. Based on the first game, I was hopefully expecting both Maya and Enri to join your party. But no, unlike the amazing end of the first game, the post endgame content was just a token 2 extra floors and yay another boss you have to beat 8 more times... RIP Imageepoch, how I miss you so.
This doesn't include the 5 hours in the other save file for beating the previous final boss BLEH
The battle system while pretty much the same on the surface to the first game, somehow felt lacking. They added a coaching mechanic that will help or hinder depending on not sure exactly what but I didn't really find it that useful. Also, the skills didn't seem to complement each other for any cool strategies. The reason why the first game was so fun was how sometimes things play out just right like a finely tuned Magic deck. This game was just like, "ugh Yurine, why oh why didn't you suggest the revenge move when you know the boss is about to hit your party like 10 freakin' times. STUPID GIRL!"
Hey don't judge me because my girls are all S instead of M!
On the other hand, the punishment... err excuse me, motivation portions definitely pushed that Cero D rating to the limit. The funny part was the game was obviously self aware of the times with dialogue along the lines of, "Sensei, you'll get locked up for that these days." And then it proceeds to show one of your students chained up so that her face is pressed up against Shinoa's breasts. Kuroe especially was like got dayum! Hope the UN doesn't see this! (For more reasons than one) I'll have to self-censor adjust this next screenshot to align closer to global values as non-Jhipsters might not be able to handle it. After all, my $.001 of monthly Adsense money is at stake here. #FreeH■■■K■■■
Overall, I enjoyed the game, my negativity really just speaks to how good the first game was. This one is pretty decent as sequels go. It certainly didn't destroy the whole premise of the first game and shat on my childhood memories like the turd Chrono Cross. It's more of the same just... not as good. Ok, but not great. At least coupling TWO girls in motivation really shows innovation in that department.
Screenshot to illustrate the S&M mechanic, what are you trying to look at??
Also, always a nice Jhipster smugness bonus when the English version is censored though it just looks weird because they mostly just removed the chains/bindings yet kept them in the same positions. At this point, I would normally complain that the fact that these games weren't kept in Japan contributed to the climate of commercial games today but honestly with all that's going on with the cancer of Twitter and FB and the fact that anybody can become outraged at anything, I feel like it was inevitable. Some (don't know of a better way to say this) white guy thinks Love Live! is somehow better than another anime sexually(?) even though it's the shittiest anime I've ever seen. In summary, we're all fucking doomed.
Couldn't have said it better myself, Enri...
Score: 3.5 I'm not one of those creepy bloggers agonizing about Tifa's breast size in the FF7 remake but while we're on the topic, what cup size did the pixel analysis indicate? out of 5 (50 hours to beat)
The 16 repetitive boss fights and especially the lack of effort at the end left such a sour taste at the end, I honestly wanted to dock the score down to a 3 average but as one of the last games of this type we'll likely ever see (at least on Censorstation), I left it at a 3.5 and poured one out for the end of an ecchi era. If Criminal Girls X comes out on consoles, I'll probably buy it, but I'm sure it'll be watered down. After all, it's not censored if you do it to yourself right resetera??
It's not censorship because the devs are trying to make money! #LOGIC
Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely
Long time readers of the blog (all 2 of you) may have noticed some recurring themes. Honestly, I'm running out of timely and topical material to keep these posts interesting. After all, there is nothing more boring than reading somebody's breakdown of a video game in a "traditional" review.
One issue is that YouTube is now a pedophile infested commercial sell out and I'm no longer interested in watching "collectors" engage in their unhealthy obsessions. Speaking of unhealthy buying habits, there are going to be lots of anime games coming up. As I found out with Momotenshi, these games are great to blast through in about 5-10 hours and are easy to purge from the ever growing pile.
So why don't I start by giving a quick summary of the story of Double Cast, follow it up with my thoughts on the gameplay, and conclude with the good and bad points about the game... BOOOORIIIING!!
Wake me when you're finished or if Shitaku shuts down
Double Cast is the first title in the Yarudora series of anime games that I'm working on purging. As an anime, the animation is a bit rough at times and it's definitely not as well produced as Momotenshi. There were several scenes where it looked it was drawn by different people. However, it has a skip feature so that's a big advantage. Unfortunately, the skip option is buried in the option so I actually slogged through it 10 or so times before discovering the feature.
Not very automatic if you have to press △ IMO...
I played the PSP version as I owned the UMD (emphasis on the past tense). Fortunately, there is no real issue with the aspect ratio because the original PS1 game also had widescreen with a big black section for the text. You can either choose to view the text on top or adjust the aspect ratio to make room on the bottom. (why would you do that?)
I swear, this is like the 3rd WicDonalds I've seen in a anime/game.
Unlike some of the more "anime" type of anime games, this is definitely an ADV game with a whole butt load of endings and a fair number of dialogue choices. For the life of me, I couldn't figure out which choices mattered and I got stuck on a couple of bad endings. After the frustration of getting the same ending a few times, I eventually resorted to looking up a guide. The guide, by the way, has a whopping FORTY-FOUR playthroughs to get 100% completion. Like, fuck that shit, I played through it enough to watch all the endings and even then I only got like 93% or so. Good enough for me, I say.
These black screens show the MC's emotion without showing his face
Some saavy gamer who's played this game might catch me in the act and say, "Hey, these screenshots are from like the first 5 minutes of the game! I bet you didn't even play it!!" Oh my, you got me! Time to make an apology video on YT. I'M GOING VIRAL!!! Actually, I just loaded this up in an emulator to post some screenshots after I played it for like 15 hours (most of it spent watching it skip forward). I never could bother to figure out those plugins or whatnot on my PSP to take screenshots.
Trigger warning! There are a couple panty shots. (Spoiler: Pure white)
Score: 2 the panti is pure white but the girl... not so much out of 5 (15 hours played)
Kidding about trigger warnings aside, this anime/game is not super gory like Elfen Lied but the fact that I even compared the two might be a sign that some shit is going to go down. By the way, am I crazy or is Elfen Lied not even that great an anime?
Overall, I found the story pretty cliché and mediocre. I mean, it's a group of college kids making a movie and the title is Double Cast. Not so hard to guess what the game is about. The OST at least was pretty good. I jammed to a few tunes.
Granted, I haven't played a ton of these interactive anime games but the mechanics at least were ok provided you looked in the options menu. I can only hope that the later games offer up a better story and animation. However, watching the same anime over and over with a few scene variations is not exactly my cup of tea so maybe this isn't my type of genre. At the very least, I was able to sell this one on the ol' eBays to pay off 1% of my latest payday loan. #MAGA (obligatory hashtag)
Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely
