Megami Ibunroku Persona（女神異聞録ペルソナ）

As I grow older by the day, I can't help but look at the pile of games that my sister keeps complaining about and try to gain some perspective. Like geesh, sis, you're barely even using your basement. And no, why should I go out and get my own place and a "real" job when my patreon and twitch revenue is earning plenty enough for all my essential needs (buying games, dew, and doritos). I don't know why you keep bothering me about rent and utilities. I don't even rent games and all my utilities are freeware!

Shut up, sis! I'm just about to get the Janus coin. Geez!!

What I actually meant by perspective is whether I would even live long enough to finish my games. I kind of thought about making a bucket list of sorts for all the best games I should probably play instead of oh, I don't know, fucking NIGHTRUTH? (Though to be fair, that one was so bad, it was hilarious.) I decided one of the series I definitely want to finish before I kick the bucket is Persona. Though I ended up beating P3 and P4 before I started playing things in order, I'm happy to announce that I just finished the first Persona game. For some reason, they removed the Megami Ibunroku part from the title in the PSP version.

What? A Japanese game title with less than 10 words? Blasphemy!

I know I've ranted about this before but notice that the Japanese cover makes no mention of SMT. Even the original PS1 title "Megami Ibunroku" has no "Shin" anywhere. So yeah, this is the only Persona title labeled as a spin-off to the Megaten series and boy, does it sure play like one.

YAMR (Yet another Megaten RPG)

First of all, while you do talk to people and walk around rooms in a top-down isometric view, the dungeon exploration is all 1st person, just like the various Megaten games that came before it. You can also equip both swords and guns. However, the big difference is the battle system where you have to place your members on a grid via a formation.

I'm a millennial so girls fight in the front (or at least those who identify as a "girl")

I don't think anybody likes this battle system? If an enemy isn't in your attack range, you just sit around and wait for your better placed allies to finish them off. Sure, you can set up various formations in advance but 1) it's too much hassle, and 2) you lose a turn to change formation so fuck that noise. Also, you can only put like 3 people in the front because for some reason, each person has to be a couple squares away from everybody else. You really only need to set up 2 formations, the second is so that when you get fucking back attacked, you have a second one to switch to. It's REALLY annoying.

Overall, the gameplay was just a mess with pretty much everything you could imagine thrown in. First of all, there's a stupid amount of elements that were (wisely) cut from later games such as "gravity", "nuclear heat", "revelation", "shock", and others I don't really even understand such as 「降魔」(descend demons?) and 「破魔」(break demon?). Oh, that's where hama comes from! Thank god at least that analyze happens automatically after defeating the enemy.

Unfortunately, my 奇跡 ("miracle")  element(??) skills were lacking against these guys

As for recruiting demons, literally the only thing you care about is increasing their interest level to get their spell card. Each character has a bunch of dialogue options so you have to choose the right character AND the right dialogue choice. Fuck that, google time. Also, everybody has 2 levels, your actual level and another one for the level of persona you can use. Both levels are almost always around the same so the second one is completely pointless (hence removed in later games). You also need to increase a Persona's rank by using their skills repeatedly to unlock new skills. Thank god their rank at least carries over even if you reassign to another party member.

The stats distribution is super weird too since the Persona's stats override yours. If you spread your points evenly across, they'll be wasted if your Persona's stat is higher. I dumped every point into TEC and AGI as they increase more of your base attributes.  Anyways, you get the idea. It's a big hot mess.

Oddly SP is fixed for each Persona so there is no reason to ever use a weaker skill

In addition, at least in the PSP version, the economy is totally broken. I read that they lowered the difficulty in this version and added a bunch more save points but I played on EXPERT mode so I assume that the difficulty is on par?  But boy, the last boss was pretty easy when you can buy 99 restore full HP items. It was so ridiculous that I ended up with almost 3 million yen with nothing to spend it on.

I'm no game designer but revive + full HP for 6000 yen seems a TAD unbalanced...

Still, even though the gameplay was a mess, I had fun with the game. At the very least, it was a relief to finish off the last boss on my first try after the grueling hell that was P3 FES on hard. Once you get used to the game, off you go, just good ol' regular dungeon exploring, leveling up, and googling demon negotiation and whatnot. I sure wished I read the manual however because the PSP version has a skip option for battles that I only discovered by accident during the final dungeon. Probably would've saved a lot of hours that way.

As usual, I liked the Persona aesthetics

As for the story, I guess I liked it well enough. There's no voice acting except for just one guy, which was kind of odd. As fit for the first game in the series, the theme centers on the various personas and masks we put on as members of society.

Hey, is that a Uzaki-chan poster? Why is the white underwear transparent??

Another interesting aspect of this game is the whole Snow Queen Quest thing. Basically, it's a completely different branch of the game that you can end up in during the first couple hours of the game. I did not play this scenario yet, something to do I guess on a rainy day... if I'm still alive by then.

One more game done! How many years I got left?

Score: 3 What? No Christmas date? No summer beach swimsuit break? This is NOT a Persona game! out of 5 (48 hours to beat)

This is not exactly a title I would wholeheartedly recommend but meh, it was still pretty fun overall. Obviously, I would have loved to use the skip option from the start but whatever. It was a serviceable RPG and the story is... not bad. At the very least, it's interesting to see how far the series has come from its humble roots. I liked the music as usual but man, I have to say the battle theme was a bit too much Persona to hear ALL THE TIME. However, the new PSP ending credits song was #BAE.

I liked it about the first 200 times but... might want to tone it down

Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely

Tantei Kibukawa Ryousuke Jiken Tan - Kamen Genei Satsujin Jiken（探偵・癸生川凌介事件譚 仮面幻影殺人事件）

It's been getting more difficult to make these posts more interesting as gaming news seems slow these days. Then I figured since Tantei Kibukawa is a game written by a game scenario writer about the same game scenario writer playing an online MMO to find a murderer in the game in the game so that he can make a game based on the murder that happened in the game in the game, why don't I make this blog post about how I'm writing this blog post to be meta. Unfortunately, I couldn't really tie my meta blog post into talking about the game so I gave up on it.

"passwords" is not a typo here, you need more than one to log onto the PC in the PC... in the PC

Of course,  I'm sure you realized by now that the previous paragraph is about how I failed to write a meta blog post about a meta game with a meta intro. Yes, I just pulled a "if god can do anything, he can make a rock to heavy for him to lift" paradox. Mic drop!

Reminds me of the good ol' days when the gov did shit... (CDC? Who needs that?)

Anyways, I know I've been going on and on about getting rid of my more mediocre games in order to make more room in my (sister's) basement. Of course, you never know if a game is good or bad until you play it. That's just common sense unless of course, you're a paid game "journalist".

I assumed that Tantei Kibukawa on the DS would just be another mediocre mystery ADV game with horrible visuals. I mean, if you go by just the game cover, it looks... unique. However, I can agree with many of the reviews on Amazon Japan that the graphics grow on you to the point where characters such as Izuna and Rio actually look cute over time.

I would date her, but then again who wouldn't I date? Real girls, that's who. (Self proclaimed voluntary incel aka vincel #yaRight)

Not only are the graphics actually endearing, the story is also surprisingly pretty darn good. You know, I play obscure games with the faint hope that some of them would be a hidden gem but it's pretty rare unless you think hidden means "is not FF or Pokemon" like some YTers. And dare I say it, this game is kind of a hidden gem. Or at least good enough that I would be interested in playing more but oh, sorry, this is the only port among a whole series of games that are now completely unplayable without resorting to buying somebody's old Japanese flip phone with the game installed. So much for game preservation... You would think at least the series author would still have a copy around but well, here's a recent tweet from him.

永劫会の動くガラケーを手に入れたぞ！ pic.twitter.com/BHpJakndeq

— 生王正生 (@ikrmmso) January 5, 2020

In terms of gameplay, it's nothing more than your typical menu based detective ADV game. I did however get stuck just a couple times as you need to poke at some parts of the background to progress (that amazing DS innovation!) You also get a chance to exercise your deduction skills by answering Izuna's questions correctly. The only penalty for getting those questions wrong is you get a lower rating from her at the end. A better rating just unlocks some more memos to read about other cases, which are of course trapped on garake phones.

Whoa, a hand icon? DS is the only console that can handle this kind of gameplay!

I was hopeful that there was going to be some interesting gameplay when you're asked to select your character class in the MMO. It went into quite a lot of detail on the differences between choosing to be a policeman, reporter, etc. I don't know if that was too much to implement but you never really play the MMO as they describe it.

Score: 3 eh, I'm sure nobody will miss the other 18 or so games out of the series (shrug) out of 5 (12 hours to beat)

As usual, unlike the "pro" reviews, I feel no need to provide even a basic summary of the plot with my shitty writing and leave it as an exercise to the reader to check it out for him/her/etc self. I would say that if you like ADV games, this is definitely one worth giving a shot. (Sorry, Jhipsters only. I assume too obscure for fan translation.)

Now, my only issue is trying to decide whether to dump this game to make more room or keep it around as a "hidden" gem in my DS collection. Sigh, decisions, decisions. It may seem insignificant but I live in a modern, advanced society. It's not like I have to worry about life and death situations such as plagues from the old barbaric medieval times...

P.S. For future reference (if we're all still alive), I'm talking about fucking COVID-19.

Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely

Murder on the Eurasia Express（ユーラシアエクスプレス殺人事件）

You may have noticed there are a lot of these interactive movie games on this blog lately. As usual, I need to make room to further drown myself in the delirious pleasure of shameless consumerism (aka hoarding). Err, excuse me, I mean, "engage in my personally enriching hobby of video game collecting".

What's the point of buying more games when you have a giant pile?
When are you going to have time to actually play all those games?
Don't you think there's better things to spend your money on?  ▼

Murder on the Eurasia Express beats the record for being the shortest of the bunch so far, clocking in at only about 2 to 3 hours. Unlike the anime games I've been playing recently, this is FMV with OMG, real people!!

Wow, the hair rendering looks so realistic!

Even though there were a lot of cheesy FMV games with the advent of the CD-ROM, I still enjoyed them back in the day. Just being able to hear "real" music instead of sound chips and midi was mind blowing at the time. One game I particularly enjoyed as a kid was Burn Cycle (rating board, what's that?). They should make a sequel with the new body, what with all these pronoun switching these days (if you played, you know what I mean).

This game was unfortunately not as good as Burn Cycle unless you dig the "train full of high school Japanese girls" setting. Unfortunately, I didn't recognize most of the cast but I think they're pretty famous? I did recognize Fukuda Kyoko and oh boy that was a quick flashback to the past. Since this game came out in 1998 and she was born in 1982, she actually should have been going to high school at the time, if my gamer math is correct. Then again, why the hell would you want to go to school when you can act in a mediocre 6,800 yen PS1 FMV murder mystery game?

Oh crap, my book report is due tomorrow!

Yeah, 6,800 yen for a 3 hour game. Ouch. Of course it's way cheaper now but can you imagine if someone were to try to sell a shitty 2-3 hour game for $60 today??

Rating Pending? I'll rate it right now: diarrhea

They would rave about how amazing the shit game is of course! Because everything is backwards now! Fortunately, this game is at least entertaining... somewhat. You can only go to a few carriages and the lounge and you're just basically going from room to room asking questions. There's a time limit too, which is annoying.

Arbitrary time limits that make you restart the game? We love those!!

For some weird reason, you can look at every person's chest and knees and no worries, you can stare at the crotch of the guys too if that's your thing. And no, there is absolutely no point of looking down in terms of beating the game.

Teacher's knees here because looking at high school girls' knees is sick.

Turns out that I've been mentally scarred by all the moe social media outrage vis-à-vis chichi bukuro blood drives, wrinkled/clear skirt, etc. that I forget what regular Japanese girls look like. Oh yeah, I totally forgot that most Japanese girls are flat as a board!

Turns out clothing is pretty effective at covering body parts... IRL

Score: 2 There's an important clue on one of the girl's chest! If you inspect each one carefully, you'll discover that you're a pervert! out of 5 (2.5 hours to beat)

Anyways, you go from room to room, asking questions and uncovering more questions to ask. Swap the disc, repeat, and finally at the end of disc 4, you have to actually do some thinking to present the correct evidence to identify the killer.

It's just like Murder on the Orient Express but with Japanese girls and the mystery not even remotely as interesting and there you have Murder on the Eurasia Express in a nutshell. However, I still gave it a score of 2 as barely worth checking out because I felt the human drama was interesting enough to warrant a couple hours of your time.

One of the girls gives you (the camera) a kiss at the end and your secretary is different depending on how fast you beat the game, etc but no way I'm going to replay just to see those minor differences.

At least the manual is really nice. Took a quick pic before purging.

Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely

Kisetsu o Dakishimete（季節を抱きしめて）

Some of you may recall that I didn't like the first Yarudora game Double Cast that much. After all, that's a post currently tied in first place for the record of most number of people to leave a comment. Unfortunately, it was not able to reach what would have been a record at 3 people but at least I know 2 people know what I'm talking about.

Would it kill you to leave a comment? Anybody? Hello?

Maybe this post will finally reach the record because I'm happy to report that the 2nd game in the series was much more to my liking. It may not be everybody's cup of tea as it's not suspenseful like Double Cast but I like these sweet, wistful love stories. This old man remembers back when I was young lad, playing FF7 by myself, holed up in my room. Back then, we jerked off to Tifa even if her boobs were a single triangle polygon, none of this complaining about sports bras. Ahh, to be young again!

Ack, the sun... and a girl! That's like gamer kryptonite and garlic!

Even if you prefer a more dramatic story like the first game, I'm sure all (three) of us can agree that the animation is much improved in this game. The PSP version constantly nags you with trailers of the other games when you reach an ending so I was reminded of how bad the first game looked every time I saw the trailer.

The story is about a young girl you run into that appears to have lost her memories... AGAIN. Yeah, I guess if you're going to make a sequel, might as well keep the same theme? However, this time, it's just a cute girl in a school uniform that thankfully isn't violent (except for the panty shot kick to the face).

This plot has a twist: normal brain functions!
Ah wait, nope, false alarm. Amnesia again.

You know, normally ADV games have a separate system save file that tracks what choices or endings you've seen and how many hours you played across your various saves. This allows you to save at what looks like an important point and then try both ways without having to play again from scratch. Unfortunately, these Yarudora games require you to keep saving over one file after you reach an ending. Even though the skip function is pretty good, it was annoying to have to start over and over again.

Fortunately, at least this game makes use of that annoyance by having some clever variations and endings depending on the last ending you saw. For example, if you make the right choices to make Tomoko happy in the beginning of the game, she offers to show you her legs. Like any normal gamer, I wanted to see that again, but on the subsequent playthrough, even if you make the same choices, and you're like, ok time to show your legs, she's like, "What the fuck you talking about?" I thought that was pretty clever. My translation may not be totally accurate. The only Japanese words I know are "Rasengan" and "kawaii" after all.

巨乳死すべし？ I'm fine with any size.

In fact, the last ending I unlocked was Bad Ending 12 because it requires 3 consecutive playthroughs. First, you have to slap Tomoko, then the game asks you at the beginning of the second playthrough if you're ok with violence towards women and if you respond, "Yes, the bitch deserved it." (again paraphrasing), you unlock Bad Ending 17. Then, you have to slap Tomoko again, and she fucking knocks you out with 3 hits to unlock Bad Ending 12. I think there's a lesson in there somewhere but I sure can't figure it out. After all, I'm just a normal, cruel, cisgender, white male with no perspective on anything other than how awesome life is.

Huh? Doesn't white privilege mean I get all the Japanese girls I want?

Score: 3.5 "Best not to think about how old Mayu looks like" out of 5 (9.5 hours to unlock all endings, 93% complete)

Ahem, joking aside, I thought this game was well done overall. The animation was good, both Tomoko and Mayu were cute and well voiced, and the music was great. At the very least, my plan to purge this game to make room was thwarted and I'll likely be holding onto my PS1 copy for now. Out of all the interactive anime games I played so far, if I were to recommend just one, this would be the one... at least for now. I'm not the only one that dug this game and the soundtrack as there's a theme song cover from Saekano, a reference I totally didn't get till now. (This old man still prefers the OG version, but cool cover for the kids.)

Oh I get the reference now! (Official anime game expert here)

I don't remember if there was a direct reference to this game in Saekano. It's been a while since I watched both seasons. Maybe playing the Saekano game will jog my memory (yet another game in my ever growing pile of games).

Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely

DS Yukemuri Suspense Series: Free Writer Tachibana Maki - "Touyako, Nanatsu no Yu, Okuyu no Sato" Shuzai Techou（DS湯けむりサスペンスシリーズ フリーライター 橘 真希 「洞爺湖・七つの湯・奥湯の郷」取材手帳）

Unlike the crazy long title, this is one of those short games that I try to knock out every now and then in order to thin the herd so to speak. Clocking in at under 8 hours, this ADV game for the DS is about 3 girls traveling to hot spring locations for a travel magazine and getting caught up in various mysteries along the way. Be prepared to enjoy much naked deltoids as this game features live photos similar to Machi by Chunsoft. In fact, according to my expert research (Wikipedia), several people were involved in the making of both games.

In the Switch remake, the shoulders are covered by a tasteful cloak

There are 3 chapters in all and each chapter is from the viewpoint of one of the 3 girls. Personally, I thought Satomi was the cutest. Unfortunately, I was unable to find any other games or AV works featuring her. By AV, I mean Audiovisual works of course, you freaking perverts.

Honestly, I'd go out with all three but my standards are low #IncelGamer

The interesting aspect about this game is that it's by Zenrin, a map company that for some reason decided to branch out into video games very briefly. Each chapter features a map of the hot springs town and you have to navigate to the correct location based on clues and whatnot. Ahhh, brings me back to the good ol' days in Japan before smartphones. "So yeah, take the B-2 east exit, make sure to go up the stairs to your right NOT the escalator. Then turn left at the 7-11 and look for a large sign with a blue bird on it. Take a right and look for another 7-11 that doesn't sell oden. Go to the house next door, tap twice loudly, and follow the cat that comes out of the alleyway to the ABC-Mart. My house is just around the corner in the basement of a snack. EASY. Make sure to say hello to the Mama-san on the way in!"

The Zenrin marketing is just annoying enough to make me hate them

The dialogue was interesting enough to read as the girls banter with each other. The mysteries were nothing to write home about but the short length made it mostly tolerable. Interestingly, after you finish each chapter, you can look up more info on the hotels, attractions, and sights of each location. Who knows if any of this information is still accurate but it's interesting for a video game at least.

How the heck am I supposed to check-in from my DS?

Score: 2.5 cheers to much improved modern life thanks to $900 iPhones, $100/month data plans propped up by telecom monopolies, soaring healthcare costs, and... hmm... nm out of 5 (7.5 hours to beat)

Overall, the game was interesting enough, particularly with the tie in to real travel locations. It even came with a giant blue sticker to seal your user registration card for a chance to win a trip for two. Unfortunately, I was just a wee bit too late to apply and missed the deadline.

Proof that yes, I owned this game before dumping it at Gamestop

In the end, did I like this game enough to keep it around? Naw, I need to make some room in my closet for my complete Funko Pop Fortnite collection or whatever the kids are wasting their parent's money on nowadays. Ok, boomer.

I'm so cute! Global warming? Growing wage gap? #MeToo? Eh? ♥️ What's that?

Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely

Ripple Island（リップルアイランド）

Continuing on my late "OMG, my phone can emulate old consoles!" discovery thread, I also recently finished Ripple Island. This is a perfect contrast to Hoshi wo Sagashite... because it was released in the same year but on the Famicom. Unlike the doable game by Sega, this is yet another FUCKING IMPOSSIBLE to beat ADV game from SunSoft just like Dead Zone.

FamiCan, like NintenDon't for positive Jhipsters

There's no way I was going to spend hours getting stuck trying to beat this without the help of a guide. Let's all just agree that I don't have enough time in my life to waste and no I'm not talking about having trouble finding time between life's responsibilities any more. I'm literally talking about how much longer I have to live now that I'm old.

Thanks Jacob for putting it all into perspective. Time to play some 30+ year old games!

Ripple Island, in my opinion, is virtually impossible to beat without a guide though maybe slightly less impossible than Dead Zone thanks to the removal of those really specific menu options like "place", "open", "pull", and "pour self some whiskey and cry about squandered youth". The game is split into 5 areas and the first area is super doable. You just gotta walk around, talk to a few folks in the town, pick up your girl, and drug what looks like a gopher. (Whew, good thing PETA didn't have Jhipsters back then!)

Fuck you stout, weasel, whatever you are

As soon as you get past the gopher asshole blocking your way, the King tells you about some lost treasures blah blah defeat evil emperor etc., etc. Then onto Area 2 where the shit hits the fan. To start, you have to knock on one certain tree to get some acorns even though it looks identical to every other tree. You know, there's an unwritten rule in ADV games that necessary items should be distinguishable even if it's just a few pixels. But nope, no respect for the genre here. Hey, why don't you try just knocking on this random tree, identical to every other tree in the fucking FOREST. What, you didn't try every possible action on every possible background item?

Welp, you're fucked. Hope you got a password handy!

Once you know what to do, the game is pretty short so I guess that means it's ok to get completely stuck? There are several points where if you screw up, there is no way to progress, for example, trying to hit on the female fox (you sicko). Another example is not dyeing that fucking white flower red, which by the way is completely hidden in some random bush. I loved (sarcasm) how they bait you with the red flower you can never reach on the cliff. Can you imagine, buying this game at full price on release, and getting forever stuck in Area 2, after playing for like a couple hours? Well, I guess if you were rich enough to be buying Famicon ADV games on release, you could probably afford the strategy guide.


Score: 2 Where is the "fuck" option? What, this isn't a PC88 hentai game? out of 5

Excuse me?? What about my panties?

Anyway, with the help of a guide, it's a cute game with nice visuals and several endings (thank god for save states). The story is simplistic but that applies to every console ADV game I played so far on this generation (PC88 Master Race for the win!). You travel with a cute girl, talk to animals, and ride a giant flying squirrel. What more could you want?

Not even deserving of a squirrel seat? See, this is why we have Incels today.

Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely

Hoshi wo Sagashite...（星をさがして･･･）

Hoshi wo Sagashite... is one of the few ADV games on the Sega Mark III and of course since I wasn't born a Japanese kid with money (curse you, non-Japanese parents!), I had no idea about this game growing up. Hopefully, none of you took my weeb joke seriously because knowing what it's like to live as a Japanese salaryman, let me just say being Japanese isn't all that it's cracked up to be.

Sure, you're having fun now, but wait till you're working 8-9 (no, not 1 hour)

This is one of the few early ADV games that I think is totally beatable without a guide. In fact, I finished it in a few hours with virtually no cheating. I only looked up the minor ending differences. Sure, I putzed around a bit trying to figure out how to order a drink at the bar but mostly if you go around talking to people and banging on stuff, you'll get through it. The menu items are a bit weird such as the option to "eat" even though you don't eat a single thing the entire game. You do have to drink in one part but I guess it would be too obvious if the menu was just "drink".

Yum, fresh meat!

So my screenshots are a little weirdly proportioned because I don't know why I didn't think of this before but the phone is like the perfect platform to knock out these early console ADV games. The shitty touch controls aren't an issue for navigating a menu and it's so handy to just try random shit when you're out doing random shit in real life. Nothing like trying to eat a cat creature with wings that can talk while you're in the checkout line at the grocery store!

Shopping for your GF while shopping for your pretend GF IRL #Gamers

So yeah, this is a pretty cute and simple story about buying an egg for your girlfriend Laila that hatches into the creature you see in the cover. There's really not much to say about the story except I guess maybe environmentalists will get a kick out of it. Mio, the species of that little creature is I guess kinda cute? But let's face it, it's not going to be a grumpy cat or baby Yoda on the social medias any time soon.

Did not sell merchandise or generate even one meme - 0 out of 5 review

Score: 2.5 Yes! This game is not fucking impossible! out of 5

Overall, definitely a neat little title that is probably the best looking ADV game on the system. You'll know what I mean if you look at that Sherlock Holmes game. (My eyes!) Best of all, I loved that it's actually beatable without having to similarly beat your head on a hard surface. Definitely not a bad one to check out on your phone while you're out, presumably doing important stuff in real life (ya right).

And unlike in real bars, she'll actually talk to you!

Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely

Otogiriso Soseihen（弟切草 蘇生篇）

A sound novel is a term trademarked by Chunsoft and is really just a fancy word for what some would call visual novels ironically with no voice acting. The sound here is referring to SFX and a novel doesn't really talk to you at least back before Audible became a big thing for busy Millennials. Anyhoo, I figured it was my Jhipster duty to check out Chunsoft's sound novel series starting with Otogirisou. I played the PS1 remake and the intro gives off a really good vibe.

Oh boy, this looks scary!

Unfortunately, the writing doesn't quite live up to the enhanced graphics. You can finish this game in a few hours and is designed to be replayed many times. According to the manual, you should replay at least 10 times to get to the "truly interesting" parts.

Oh man, this DOES look scary!

I thought the idea behind the game was certainly interesting. There are tons of dialogue options (supposedly over 1,000) and while the basic premise of the events are the same, it's slightly different and feels fresh every time. For example, the first playthrough shows a photo of the inside of your car while the next playthrough might have a little animation with trees whizzing by.

I'm a sucker for these old school photos

Unfortunately, the freshness lasts maybe about 4 or 5 playthroughs and you quickly realize it's the same basic scenarios. You're driving in the car with your girlfriend Nami, some accident happens, you happen upon a mansion in the woods, etc. etc. The dialogue options get sillier and sillier as well with tons of cheesy puns and it's clear they don't really reflect on the following dialogue.

Ketchup on your salad eh?

Since these scenes are designed to be stitched together in semi-random order, after the first few playthrough, it was mostly a tedious exercise of holding down circle. No skip option is just such a time sink. One might say it's amazing that the story still holds up together even when it shifts and changes but to me, it just means that the story is not that involved.

The rain moves in the background. It's like a novel but EVOLVED!!

Score: 2 desperately trying to get with your gf no matter how fucked up things get out of 5 (15 playthroughs)

Some of the endings were good and it was interesting somewhat but overall I was underwhelmed. Sometimes it got a bit too silly for me and I just couldn't tell if the game was trying to be scary or funny. It wasn't particularly good at being either.

Unfortunately, the story is just not as scary as this picture suggests

However, being the obsessive compulsive that I am, I couldn't help but find all 10 endings to get the pink bookmark. Due to how the story changes up, there wasn't a clear guide and it wasn't that easy but I soldiered through it. The manual suggests some ecchi fanservice with the pink bookmark but I mean, don't get your hopes up. You're not going to be seeing Corpse Party style low angle shots of a girl hanging in a toilet stall. (You sicko.)

Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely

Persona 3 FES （ペルソナ3 フェス）

Persona 3 is my personal record for the game that took me the longest to beat of all time. As I mentioned in my Persona 4 post, I started this game around 2007 before FES even came out and I finally, finally beat the game in 2020. A lot has happened in the 13 years or so since I started this game so holy fuck, it's like I'm closing a chapter of my life, namely, the good one when I was young and dapper. Now onto my next shitty chapter of middle age crisis, bemoaning the good ol' days and being afraid of the social media lashing if I state my opinion on all those pronouns on Twitter. So I guess it's business as usual, same shit as last year.

Back when you could tell the gender of the right side at least

I have kind of a semi-excuse for why the fuck it took me so long. I first played like 40 some hours of Persona 3 and then FES came out so I started over. At least I was able to import my academics, courage, and charm. Of course, since FES added hard mode, I just had to be stupid and play on hard to be "hardcore". Hard mode is no fucking joke so I got stuck a bunch of times because of the grind and plus I rarely have free time to play on a console, anyways, here we are, Happy New Year, it's FUCKING 2020!!!

Went to Hatsumode last week and not a single hottie in furisode just some middle-aged obasans in down jackets... IRL sucks!

Of course, I probably would have finished this game a lot sooner if I opted to play the PSP version. Unfortunately, being on the PSP, there were some significant compromises such as the removal of cut-scenes for a more visual novel type of presentation. Because the Vita didn't exist (RIP), there is no definitive version like Persona 4 Golden. I do intend on replaying the game (again!) at some point much, much later for the portable female MC route. I just have to see if I can steal Junpei from Chidori and promptly throw him away as he's not my type. That's what I would do as a hot anime chick, at least. I thought adding a female MC was a really neat idea and something all games MUST HAVE, YOU SEXIST GAMERS!! SHAME ON YOU!!! or something to that effect.

I mean seriously, it's so EASY! Hex has done it so many times I'm sure!

So yeah, in a nutshell, Persona 3 is a great game. Personally, I liked Persona 4 way more because of DEM FEELS but Persona 4 wouldn't exist without all the mechanics and things inherited from Persona 3. The central theme and concept behind this game is to reflect on our finite lives and the suggestion that maybe you might want to spend your limited time on this mortal coil wisely. You have to juggle your school schedule, social activities, and you get tired in dungeons.

This real life idea permeates throughout the entire game, often to the detriment of the gameplay itself. For example, in real life, you can't just open a menu and make somebody else equip some new items. No, you have to actually go up to your party member and talk to them to change their equipment. Also, in real life, you can't control other people like umm... game characters. No, you have to make suggestions via strategies and they'll decide exactly what they want to do LIKE NOT FUCKING HEALING YOU AND RESULTING IN A SENSELESS GAME OVER!!! And that's the other thing. As soon as you die, it's game over even if someone in your party has the fucking ability to revive you. Of course, P3 Portable "fixed" all these gameplay issues and is more like Persona 4.

The "Control you like the fucking game character you are" Strategy

Personally, I liked the original version better as it reflects a central theme that drives the game as an entire whole package. FES even fixed up some time "loop holes", for example, praying at the Jinja takes up time instead of being a freebie stat increase. I hated having to go to the shrine to pray every day anyway. The only part that is less realistic is that you can go out with like 5 girls and never have to choose one like in Persona 4 (boo). Personally, Mitsurugi is best waifu and we enjoyed a wonderful Christmas together. #CreepyGamer #Weeb

#1 Waifu, no question

Overall, after finishing the game, I had to sit back and reflect on how I spend my precious days as I age past middle age and set one foot in the grave. Then I realized I spent 115 hours of my so called "precious" life PLAYING THIS FUCKING GAME ON HARD! Thanks Atlus for making me feel guilty and ashamed.

Kamiki especially makes you think... about maybe not wasting your life playing Persona 3

Especially at the end, oh my god, the final boss is a fucking nightmare, let me tell you. It's not that it's super hard after I grinded to about level 85, it's just fucking LONG but that's not even the worst of it. Just before he dies, he pulls a cheap move of random status ailments and WITHOUT FAIL somebody gets charmed and heals the fucker to full health. Several hours of whittling away at his HP WASTED. It's like the ultimate slap in the face. On my 5th try, I finally beat the fucker by changing everybody's strategy to attack and popping precious Somas I had hoarded like they were candy. It was probably one of the most frustrating final boss battles I've ever played but oh the rush when I finally put that fucker down.

I BEAT IT! I'M SO COOL! CAN'T WAIT TO TELL MY FRIENDS!! ...oh wait

I also really liked that you can go talk to your maxed out Commus to get the final conclusion of each mini story. But it was like 3 am in the fucking morning when I finally beat the game so I wished I could save before all that shit. You can go to the dorm to save for one more day before your Senpais' graduation but I was afraid I would miss something.

Overall, while I think Persona 4 is the better game, I finally "get" the reason for all the mechanics that we are now familiar with. I think it's safe to say that this is the game that really made the Persona franchise what it is today. While yes, there was some incredibly frustrating moments, I really enjoyed my 13 years of mostly not playing this game.

Hook that Shoji Meguro goodness right into my veins ANY time

As for the music, I loved it even though I wasn't a fan of the rapping (especially in the dorm at night, huh?). I much prefer the more somber music it switches to in January. And sure, there could have been more variety in the tracks for all couple HUNDRED floors of Tartarus stair climbing but I still loved the music overall. (Yes, you can ask Fuka to change up the music in FES but that's still like 5 tracks.)

Too many stairs, time not respected. Score: 0 out of 5 - Shitaku

Score: 4 "You didn't cheat but you still didn't grow. You didn't improve anything of real value. You experience a hollow victory and nothing was gained. Stop playing games and get a fucking life" out of 5 (115 hours to beat)

Even after all this non-time respecting BS, I'm now like 5 hours in Episode Aegis so who knows how long that will take to beat. Also, once again, those silly localizers are up to their usual shenanigan by changing Aegis' name to "Aigis". Why?? I have to say, I briefly watched the English dub and it was so cringe. I have no idea how non-Jhipsters can bear it. "Oh no, You-car-ree chan is hurt!" Oh my fucking god, how the fuck can you guys stand it??

No Japanese weeb VA option is like 0.2 bonus smug points for needing to resort to emulation for the undub. "The Journey"? Pfft, just Episode Yourself localizers (psst, I'm saying "fuck you").

Hey, why don't you do both of us a favor and just Episode Yourself ok??

Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely