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Saturday, January 28, 2017

Renai 0 Kilometer v (恋愛0キロメートルv)

It took almost 6 months but I finally finished my 3rd galge: Renai 0 Kilometer v. So I guess I'm practically an expert on the genre, eh? As far as I know, this Vita port is identical in content to the PSP version, which added a whopping 4 extra routes and 2 whole new characters. The only difference is that for some reason the Vita version is ridiculously expensive. I got my "copy" on a PSN sale (yeah, I'm still a sucker).

Don't worry Himuroya, you'll soon get your own route and even a theme song! No H though cause Cero C. Sorry!
One of the additional characters is voiced by none other than Tamura Yukari and she ironically plays the role of a High School student trying to become a voice actress. Tamura Yukari is famous for being eternally 17. (Sorry I have to explain this basic stuff for the non jhipsters). The 2 new characters don't have anything to do with the main story, they're just 2 broads you meet on the street (you playa you!).

So yeah, the main story is pretty much as you'd expect in a galge. It kinda reminded me of Marmalade Boy except more harem-ish. Without getting into the details, just in case anybody reading this is interested in playing it (pfft yeah right), you end up living with a bunch of girls who live next door (hence the 0 kilometer). Basically, 3 imoutos and 1 oneechan (if that's your thing) whom you're legally allowed to boink. Of course, I'm only guessing about that part because I played the censored "oh let's have a date at the mall teehee" Cero C consumer port.

A reader sent in this shot of the 18+ you're going to hell PC version. Thanks xxxOnePieceInYoFairyTailxxx!
Beside the silly premise, I thought the story was actually pretty good. Nothing happens outside the realm of normal reality in this one. No stupid magic tools pooped from a tree or time traveling Suzuha (though as I said Yukari IS in the game). However, even though the situations are very mundane, the dialogue is pretty damn funny. And though I did get tired of the game a bit with all the side routes, the main routes did keep me interested once I finally got to them. Also, a lot of 4th wall breaking humor. There was even a part where the girl said something embarrassing and disabled the backlog temporarily.

Noooo, my backlog!!!!!
The art style wasn't bad though some of the characters have tailored boob pockets and American porn silicon boobs. (Hate to break it to the protagonist, but dem melons ain't natural dude.)

Also conveniently serves as a face pillow in a pinch
Beside the fake boobies, I liked the design for characters that didn't get some uh "work" done. There are also a few scenes using a completely different art style which I thought was charming and cute.

This was apparently before she went in to get some "work" done
Overall, I was pleasantly surprised by this title and though I probably paid a bit more than I wanted to even with a "sale", at least I enjoyed my time with it. I would say, check it out if you can find it for a good price and don't mind a run-of-the-mill, imouto/oneechan-fetish, love triangle... urr heptagon story. I am of course talking to fellow jhipsters only, trophy whores aren't welcome.

I don't even bother talking about galge music anymore cause it's so generic

Score: 3 real boobs aren't shaped like that! ...or so I've read online... out of 5

While the Amazon Japan reviews rag on the Vita port for being pretty much a PSP game plopped onto a Vita cart, technically it was just ok. Yeah, the audio quality ain't exactly PC quality but oh well, at least it wasn't full of bugs like Harvest OverRay. All these Vita galge ports seem like a cash grab to me anyways. Hey, as long as it helps the Vita. You hear me Sony? Make a Vita 2, you chicken shits!!

Additional screenshots for the next generation of galge aficionados.

Dat Cero C steam is damn aggressive.
LOL this part was so funny! (Sorry non jhipsters...)
I never thought I'd say this but I think I can use an imouto break actually
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely

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