Kyoto Ryuu no Tera Satsujin Jiken（京都龍の寺殺人事件）

Long time readers may remember way back when I realized that I could play old ADV games on my phone (duh). I figured, hey this should be easy! Whip out the phone in a free moment, load my save state, and play a few minutes at a time. And here we are, almost a year later, I'm finally writing about the first Yamamura Misa Suspense title on the Famicom. Needless to say, this was NOT an easy game to get through.

To be fair, the rest of the game does not look this but c'mon

Now, I'd like to think I'm pretty fair in judging games in their proper context and timeframe and according to Google, this game came out at the end of 1987 (December 11 to be exact). Ignoring my disingenuous screenshot above, the graphics are not bad for the Famicom. On the surface, this game looks like it could be one of the better early murder mystery ADV games on the console. Unfortunately, in reality, it sucks so bad, it makes the first Tantei Jinguji game look good, which is quite a feat.

Hi, nice to meet you. Oh, don't mind the frickin' corpse behind you!

There are two major problems with this game, the first being the goddamn awful menu system that requires you to go through multiple steps just to ask a fucking question. Select the ear icon, pick the person to ask, pick the topic, pick the question and start all over for the next question.  Honestly, how hard would it be to remember your menu position?

Well, as long as there's some cleavage, who cares about mechanics?

At this point, I'm a hardened retro gamer so I can stand bad mechanics and some frustration if the story is good but that's where my major problem lies with this game. I dunno if Yamamura Misa's novels are a hundred times better but the whole premise of the game was just... stupid. It starts with the first murder victim holding some petals with letters on them and so the rest of game is filled with character names that just so happen to use those exact same letters. Be prepared to be constantly confused about who is who as you talk to Minako, Namiko, Minao, Naoko, etc. because yeah, it's totally believable that every suspect's first and last name just happen to be perfect anagrams. And also, why are you, a freakin' game designer, responsible for investigating the murder instead of the police?

Why the hell is this my job? Is this because of #DefundThePolice?

The game was so boring, I feel like I don't want to bore my growing audience with an equally boring blog post about it. I'm going to be honest here and admit I totally followed a guide after a few hours of navigating the god awful menu. There is one trick where you have to call *69 to find the last caller on someone's phone, except it's the Japanese version of *69, which I have no clue about. I didn't grow up in Japan. I'm a Jhipster. If I was Japanese, I would just be a "gamer". Well, a Japanese gamer so probably less trolling and death threats.

Oh yeah, you know I'm a real game journalist now that I'm trashing gamers. Don't worry, no matter how shitty some gamers might be, at least they're shitty for free instead of trying to make a living off of it like those game "journalists".

A gamer girl? Nice! Oh wait, Famicom? Pass for lack of taste.

Score: 1 so boring I inadvertently started ranting about gamergate for old times' sakes out of 5

I'm sorry, what were we talking about again? Oh right, this game! So anyway, it's terrible. Don't waste your time with it. Still, I read online that the next Yamamura Misa game is better so I'll probably stick with the series. The one I played on DS seemed pretty good but more on that in 2024.

Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely

Trails in the Sky the 3rd Evolution（英雄伝説 空の軌跡 the 3rd Evolution）

It's become a regular ritual of mine to pick up a Trails game every time a new one comes out in a desperate attempt to try to keep up. Now that I've finally beaten the 3rd one, that brings the current tally to 3/11 or a grade of F minus minus minus, which compared to the US government is actually pretty good IMO. I would put up the usual Trump meme pic but I'm so fucking tired of that shit, here's a picture of a bat plushie instead.

Please stop eating the fuckers, for fuck's sake!! (You know who you are)

There is no better time than now to escape from shitty reality into the sweet bliss of logical and responsible adults in a fantasy RPG video game. Yes, let's dig into the 3rd iteration of brave heroes fighting against people of differing ideologies, political intrigue, and high-level foreign policy negotiations between shrewd leaders... Naw, let's just go into some la-la land after the prologue chapter with magic memory doors n shit... yeeaaaaah....

Falcom, your own characters are saying your setting is a fucking JOKE!

I'm glad they didn't call this Sora no Kiseki TC, calling it "the 3rd" like a 5th wheel is appropriate because it plays like a fan-service afterthought, not the finale of a trilogy. It's a good excuse to get all the characters from the first 2 games together and reminisce on extra events that fill out the setting. As much as I love to see little side stories of tiny RPG characters in pajamas, the manner in which the game presents them just bothered me. Like, why does a character that recently LIVED through the event need to see a memory of it much less through some weird door? From the standpoint of the character, it must be like watching a shitty home movie from last week on VCR (kids, you'll need to Google that).

 

Awww, so cute! Oh I know, let's have her fight ruthless mercenaries and ancient legendary monsters!

Yeah sure, technically the game does have a story and it's not bad actually. But at times, it just feels so contrived and just an excuse to beam all the familiar crew back into another game (and I mean "beam" literally). I did at least like the new character and her VA, RieB with a weird B (or whatever that is). While I'm not into nuns, she was cool because she likes to eat. It's too bad she's not a morbidly obese trans person of color to properly represent us American gamers. Missed opportunity there IMO. Maybe it'll be fixed in the PS5 version if MS buys Falcom or something. #FuckMe2020

Why is she white, thin, and binary? I want REAL people, like those assholes that don't wear masks

The part of the game that I finally really started warming up to was the combat. I know I complained about the fact that it's recycled for SC but kinda like how some people start to like shitty songs after hearing it repeatedly on the radio, it eventually grew on me. As usual, I loved how you start at level 90 unlike most RPG sequels that offer no explanation as to why you're back at level 1 and weak as fuck again.

They couldn't resist the obligatory stroll in molten lava cliché however

Another common annoyance that this game handles gracefully is grinding under-leveled characters. I really wish more RPGs scale EXP like this. You haven't used a character for a few chapters? No problem, just have them hang out in the back for a few battles and they'll level up in no time. I even maxed out 9999 EXP in one battle for the unsightly males to prepare for the final battle.

As usual, I tend to leave... ugh MEN out of my party

Save for some minor changes such as enemy elements, the mechanics are pretty much identical. However, the strategies I employed were different because of the insanely effective quartz. While I mostly ignored arts in the first game, having 50%-75% reduction in casting time made them so much more useful. In particular, because some bosses are immune to all debuffs and status ailments, it's vitally important that you keep your buffs up. Speed, in particular, is of the upmost importance in hard mode. As usual, I have not played in nightmare mode, saving that for another day.

Yeah! What's wrong with having a 13 year old girlfriend? Hmm... let me think... #Jailbait

Other notable areas besides the combat, side stories, new character, and Agate's weird relationship with a 13-year-old girl, are the annoying mini games and music. The mini games such as poker, blackjack, and trivia are well, like I said, just annoying. I didn't mind the fishing contest so much though.

From this angle, you can tell Estelle has it where it counts

Some of the dungeon songs were head rockers so I'm liking the soundtrack more and more with each iteration of the series, which is always a good sign of things to come.

Good stuff. I was rocking while dungeon crawling.

Score: 3.5 C'mon Falcom, where is the obligatory hot springs church outing event? out of 5 (79 hours to beat)

Is the premise contrived and the game a bit fan servicey for bringing back all these characters? Sure, but overall, I still had fun for the total of almost 80 hours and the main plot wasn't bad, just a bit too much hocus pocus for my tastes. For the reason that I had fun for that amount of time and there's nothing wrong with the game, I would rate it as slightly above average.

Cover art for "I'm so wet, I want to have your baby but I'm a nun!" (as featured in the doujin series) 

I guess there's finally an English localized version of the game on Steam but based on the original PSP version. I dunno, maybe because I wasn't a Jhipster back then, but I like the Evolution remakes just fine so there's a tiny Jhipster smugness bonus added on for this version.

"It was a clever inducement of the temporary representative Cashius bright that broke down the agglutinating situation of a war." WTF??? I bet Falcom never expected anyone to read this shit.

The final boss battles were kind of brutal even in just Hard mode. I recommend looking up the best party member distribution before you start the last dungeons. Thankfully, they at least offer you an option to save before the last boss battle because I would have thrown my Vita at the wall if I had to start over after hours and hours of fighting. Thanks to the OP Absolute guard and continually buffing despite that annoying move the final boss has to remove all your buffs, I was able to make it to the end on my first try. Whew!

Legend of Heroes VII? That's one of like 5 ways to define this series (fucking Falcom man)

And that's that, finally done with this series in a series in a series. I'm definitely NOT catching up on all these Legend of Heroes RPGs but I'm having fun with them so I suppose it's not a bad thing to have a whole stack to go through still. I'm certainly looking forward to moving on from Liberl after well over 200 hours in the same locations. It's time to go to Crossbell... finally!!!

Additional Evolution screenshots for the Jhipster smugness library

Beating the game unlocks music from all 3 games. Cool, unless you're a classic OST pig in the mud

Ugh, fuck this trivia game. I'm down for more what's his face crossdressing though.

Holy shit, is this some huge spoiler?! Naw, it's just another fucking "memory".

Oh magic clothes that coincidentally reuses an existing asset? How... convenient!

The cursive on this Salt Paling doc is hard to read saving Falcom from further embarrassment.

It's a hidden gem shooter! Get your copy now before it becomes RAREZ!!!

Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely

GOTY for 1984

I figured 1984 was a good year to start for coming up with Game of the Year since it's the first full year after the Famicon's release (July, 1983). Despite never owning a Famicon or NES, surprisingly I've played quite of few of games including Pacman (let's pretend Atari version doesn't exist) and of course, Duck Hunt. The most surprising part is I had friends at the time with a NES. As for Sega's SG-1000, well, I'm going to be mostly ignoring it as I'm not really into arcade ports.

I've even played games such as Nuts & Milk, which instantly brought back nostalgia tears with that darn music you can never, ever forget. Given that I DEFINITELY didn't own a Famicon as a kid for a Japanese exclusive title, I most likely played it on some unlicensed, shady Korean console with 100 games on one cartridge. (This game technically first came out in 1983 for the MSX, Sharp X1, etc. but I played the FC version which is significantly different.)

Umm, yeah I owned this game... TECHNICALLY

Tetris

Release date: Sometime in 1984

Now if I were to stick with the Jhipster theme, I would probably pick some silly Japanese arcade port like Pacman for GOTY but I must remind you, a REAL Jhipster appreciates ALL games and is only particular about playing Japanese games in their pure, unaltered form. In terms of pure fun, I would have to pick Tetris as GOTY for 1984. Even though I have not played the original version, the core gameplay remains unchanged from the original 1984 release as far as I can tell.

Yup, looks like Tetris but way more Russian
The highlight for me was playing against my friend on 2 player Tetris via that janky ass cable for the original gameboy. It even has the same dull green color scheme of the original so can't get more authentic than that. Right?

Verdict: GOTY runner up

King's Quest

Release Date: May 10

While I have tons of great memories of Tetris and it has a long line of puzzle games that expand and extend the original concept, King's Quest, or rather Sierra On-Line has far more personal significance for me. If you compare the games that came out around 1984, you can truly appreciate how revolutionary and ahead of its time the graphics were in King's Quest.

Believe me, for its time, this is fucking amazing.

I originally left this game out because I was a bit confused on the release date but this nice video explains that while it was shown in 1983, the official public release was indeed in 1984. So if you consider what games look liked especially as early as 1983, you can see why King's Quest is easily GOTY in terms of its sheer technical marvel and hey, it's not a bad game either to boot.

Whoa, an informative youtube video??? WTF is this shit?
While I did not play King's Quest around the time of its original release, to me, this marks a whole series of franchises and the golden years of a company that pretty much made up most of my childhood. Yes, I might not be retro hipster enough for the first King's Quest but I was there on my friend's Tandy (I was poor, remember?) with EGA graphics for Police Quest. I was also a fanboi of Space Quest and have fond (painful) memories of trying to get the mouse to work using HIGHMEM and various, ancient incantations from my AUTOEXEC.BAT and CONFIG.SYS spellbooks for the VGA version of Hero's Quest.

I did try out a later version of King's Quest on Steam. Sure, the story is a bit primitive and some of the puzzles are the usual type of stuff from those days that are pretty much impossible to figure out without calling the Sierra hint hotline aka "1-900-OHMYGOD-TIMMY-WHAT-DID-YOU-DO-TO-THE-PHONE-BILL!!!!" However, even today, it was still fun to walk around in a full graphical map and explore and... stuff.

Verdict: GOTY Overall

Other games I tried

The Black Onyx（ザ・ブラックオニキス）

Release Date: January

I'm triggered by the objectified male bulge

CRPG addict has the historical background on this first-person DRPG and there's plenty of other info as being one of the earliest RPGs released in Japan (though it was made by a guy called Henk Rogers). These really early DRPGs are frankly hard for me to wade through. I did try playing a bit of the moe-fied GBC version that's more my style but yeah, I've got a million other games I'd rather play right now.

Zarth （ザース）

Release Date: August

If only the rest of the game looked like this... (spoiler: it doesn't)

Somewhat notorious as a bait and switch, Famitsu featured the screenshot above, which of course everybody assumed was the heroine or at least more than a passing minor character. Entering text via Kana input on a PC88 emulator proved too much for me so I watched a let's play on youtube. Can I join the cool kids crowd now?

Showing all the best parts of a game?! Trailers NEVER do that!

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Release Date: September

A text adventure game that I remember giving up on in about 5 minutes back in the day. I am a Douglas Adam's fan so I tried playing again via flash but this game is brutal. PASS

> fuck this game
I type this command in just about every text adventure game I've played

Dragon Slayer（ドラゴンスレイヤー）

Release Date: September 10

Yikes, I did not play this version but not GOTY

Nihon Falcom's 2nd ARPG. I played the Saturn version for 20 minutes, plenty of time to get a feel for the mechanics. It's a great game for masochists I guess. Ugh, not even as good as Ultima I.

The Death Trap（ザ・デストラップ）

Release Date: October

Square, where is the sports bra patch per the ethics dept?

Notable for being Sakaguchi's first game from Square and the first ADV I've played so far with multiple endings.

Wingman（ウィングマン）

Release Date: November

Unlike Zarth, the rest of the game DOES look like this

Notably unlike Zarth, this game features a whole slew of great art and is the most visually impressive game so far for the year. Once again, the Kana input kind of makes this game impossible to beat without a guide. According to a random Japanese blogger, the guy that produced that one image for Zarth helped out.

Verdict: GOTY in visual and graphics

Hydlide（ハイドライド）

Release Date: December 13

If I was born like 10 years earlier and rich, I might've have enjoyed this

Yeah, yeah, this game gets the usual unfair flack from non-Jhipsters (AVGN, etc) due to  late localization but in the proper context, what's a better ARPG from 1984 or earlier? Certainly not Dragon Slayer at least. I can't stand scroll-hell PC-88 action games so I tried the Famicom version (1986) and it's playable at least with save states. The amount of EXP seemed really low and level progression tedious so I probably won't play through it but let's give credit where it's due.

Hokkaidou Rensa Satsujin Okhotsk ni Kiyu（北海道連鎖殺人 オホーツクに消ゆ）

Release Date: December 21

Unfortunately, the PC-98 version doesn't keep that clothing with improved fidelity

What a way to close out the year. Of course, this was when Yuji Horii was fine with showing his true pervy self. I played the PC-98 version but the story stuck with me after I navigated the pain in the ass maze at the end.

Verdict: GOTY for story and narrative

Phantasy Star（ファンタシースター）

So I got a comment (holy smokes, what are those??)  about Phantasy Star that prompted me to pick this game up again. This just goes to show that yes, comments matter here and goddamn I love them little jolts of serotonin. Alistel (thanks for the comments!) prompted me to finally finish the game and I have to say, I had fun with it on the Switch with automap and "Ages Mode" baby difficulty edition.

I played with the scanlines and mapless for all of like 5 minutes

Sure, you could play it without the map OG style but c'mon, the temptation is too hard to resist. If I was in the mood to draw maps, I have a pile of Sekaiju no Meikyuu games somewhere in my hoarder pile (oh god, the never ending backlog...)

For a game that came out in 1987, it looks really, really good. If the Mark III was this capable, it makes you wonder why there weren't more good games on the system (poor Sega). With all the weak arcade ports, and the small library, it's fair to say that this is the best game for the console. 

Granted, I was playing with additional helpful features on the Switch, I still got a good fill of that old-school Japanese RPG fun. Like many early RPGs, you start out really, really weak and need to cautiously save, heal, and slowly bring your level up. Once you get over the initial hurdle, you're off doing the usual exploring, dungeon crawling, and recruiting party members. It's all good, filling that weird need I have once in a while for a repetitively simple and somewhat therapeutic RPG.

Aww, so cute. Ok, time to get to work. KILL BOY KILL!

In addition to the automap, the pause menu has a handy explanation of all the equipment, items, and magic that you would have had to look up back in the day. What? Did you expect an explanation of what shit is IN the game? What next? Maybe you should watch some Youtuber play the game for you? Jesus, kids these days!

Do-heal. LOL, hope the person that came up with that got a nice bonus for creativity (not)

The manual even tells you the various spots where you could get permanently stuck. Ouch, that would suck if you saved and had to start over! As these things often go, I eventually put the game down when I got stuck looking for some shit in a pile of garbage. And of course, how could you not have an early RPG without the section where you have to wade through shit that hurts you on every step. Yes, I will admit I eventually resorted to looking up some help from a handy guide.

I guess it's better than the usual lava which in real life would kill you instantly

In particular, finding the Flow Mover is kind of a dick move requiring you to talk to a random NPC twice, replying both yes and no. Speaking of Flow Mover, the naming in this game is so unoriginal (eg light saber), it's actually kind of funny. Flow Mover - 24 hour dry protection for the active woman. 😂

I can't expect too much from a console RPG in the late 80s but the story was pretty much finding your party members and then just fetch quests. It's too bad because the opening intro was great. The last boss especially seems to come out of nowhere without any explanation and was kinda anti-climatic. Fortunately, I was barely able to win on my first try with all the best equipment. Tyron had 1 HP left and the cat... well, sorry but poor Snuggles didn't make it.

See what happens when you hire APRIL FOOL to write the story? Geesh!

Score: 3 WHY IS MY CHARACTER MOVING BY ITSELF? THIS GAME FUCKING SUCKS!!! out of 5 (Over 10 hours to beat, fuck Switch's ambiguous time tracking)

I had an average amount of fun with this one. It was pretty easy to play with the various quality of life improvements. I can only imagine how awesome it would have seemed back in 1987 but also probably way more frustrating.

Oh, a real gamer girl? Are you selling your dirty bath water, perchance?

I have no major complaints except of course for the fact that MY FUCKING JOYCON DRIFTS!!! You know, this is where I would go on my usual rant about how Nintendo sucks except now Sony decided to become a Twinkie. If you haven't heard the term before, it means they're fucking white on the inside man! They even have a Karen (Catherine but close enough) to explain why they need to spy on you to protect all the millennial snowflakes. If you really believe they won't store your recording past the last 5 minutes, well, ask Alexa to Google that shit for you.

As much as I would've loved a Vita 2 and the old Sony Japan, looks like I'm going to have to abandon Soyney California and settle for Nintendo, the last Japanese console maker.

I made the switch to PS1 for FF7 and it was a good run before things started going downhill with the PS4. Parasite Eve, Metal Gear, Xenogears, the list of fun goes on and on. Let's pour one out for Playstation Japan. Sigh, why does everything suck now? #2020

Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely

Ni no Kuni: Shiroki Seihai no Joou（二ノ国 白き聖灰の女王）

The whole idea behind Ni no Kuni was like a dream come true when it came out like 10 years ago. An RPG by Level-5 and Studio Ghibli with music from Joe Hisashi? Finally, the technology had advanced to where you can play a game that looks and sounds just like a Ghibli movie!!

In 2011, this was some god damn amazing shit

Yes, of course, I'm skipping the first DS game with the not so high definition graphics far from cinematic quality. At the time, I was just starting my journey as a Jhipster gamer. In fact, one of my first import buys for my collection (aka bad financial spending habits) was for the Japanese Magic Master that came with the limited edition of the DS game. Fortunately, you can still pick this up for a reasonable price unlike the false scarcity shit they pulled with the non-Jhipster Wizard Edition.

Way better than getting a stupid plushie imo

It's hard to believe that almost a decade has gone by since this game was released. Gaming has sure come a long ways since then. There's like WAY more frames per second and look at all dem pixels and shit. Oh and don't forget all that lazer ray tracing shiznits!! You can stare for hours at the reflection in the water as you go from one mission to the next, exactly like very other mind numbingly bland and unoriginal AAA game. Hell yeah!!!

Yet another grumpy old man rant but all I see these days is racist censorship, pay to play online, shit gacha games that last maybe a year at best, and everybody trying to move suckers into some sort of subscription service. And now PS5 is going X for confirm and O for cancel with no option to switch?? Jesus fucking Christ (not the brown one)!

So glad 'Merica is pushing superior moral values onto depraved Japanese gamers

The fact is, Ni no Kuni looks exactly as good as it needs to be for a Ghibli style video game. I mean honestly, it probably would have even worked on a PS2, like Rogue Galaxy (also Level-5). The game looks gorgeous and I really enjoyed the intro and the whole premise for your adventure. I especially loved watching you eat your mom's delicious looking eggs and bacon in fine Ghibli style.

There's nothing that says Ghibli like some eggs and bacon

Unfortunately, perhaps my hype for this game was a little too high as the gameplay definitely has that Level-5 feel to it. Though I've only played a few of Level-5 games so far, there's just something about them that seems super mainstream. While I don't dislike Level-5 games, the gameplay never seems very original and feels super safe. It's almost like marketing research comes up with what's supposed to be fun and you end up with a game that's well... supposed to be fun. You know what I mean? All I'm saying is, I was all into the game until they introduced Imagens and oh hey look, it's a fucking Pokemon clone. Bleh.

I just used the pink punch guy for like 95% of the time

I never played a Pokemon game for more than a couple hours and I don't know if I ever will but I'm not into this collect 'em all shit. I got the All-in-one edition so I used the special DLC or whatever that was included for the bulk of the game. Sure, you can recruit enemies, level up the little buggers, and feed them shit to evolve but yeah, not my thing.

I did spend a good 40 hours to beat the game and then some for trophies and I'm still probably far from getting the platinum. Out of all that time, I feel like most of it was spent doing those side quests primarily getting those heart pieces from here to there. Oh, and playing fetch for that fucker who kept losing his damn notebook everywhere.

Now, it may sound like I didn't like the game but overall, I have to say it's a solid title. While the battle system wasn't my favorite, it was good enough to keep my interest even though I probably spent most of the time just punching the shit out of everybody with the pink guy.

I really, really wanted to love this game. I mean, just look at it!

Score: 3.5 git off my lawn with your Cross Worlds mobile MMO crap!! out of 5 (38 hours to beat)

I was really on the fence on whether to score this as an above-average or a great game. While the graphics, cutscenes, and music were undoubtedly great, I went with a 3.5 above-average. I liked the story but I feel like it didn't quite have the impact of a good Ghibli film. Certainly, the characters development could have been better. I mean, geesh, the 3 characters from Koudelka had better chemistry than Oliver, Jairo, and Maru. As for the gameplay, it was I dunno... polished I suppose. Your party's AI isn't great but good enough. You gotta level up your Pokemon err Imagens and switch them out during battles etc. Plus, you got all them fetch side quests, alchemy, etc., etc. It's a good game but just not quite a great game for me. But I'm sure we can all agree, Joe Hisashi is da bomb yo!

I mean it's a bit heavy for gaming BGM but still.

Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely

Chaos;Head Love Chu Chu!（CHAOS;HEAD らぶChu☆Chu!）

I was curious about these harem spinoffs that appear to be almost obligatory at this point for the Science Adventure series, especially for a game as dark as Chaos;Head Noah. Even though this game follows the events of the first game, it was easily able to sidestep the issue of what happened in Shibuya with the whole delusion "science" (emphasis on the quotes) thing. Unfortunately, in the real world, being delusional doesn't affect reality (unless of course, you're a Trump supporter).

All this science is what I love about this series

Takumi has matured a bit after the events of the first game so he's ever slightly less annoying (but still pretty damn annoying). As you would expect from a harem fan-service love comedy, the story is far more light-hearted compared to the first game. To be honest, the gore in the Cero Z version of Noah was a little too much even for me. Fortunately, you don't have to worry about dead babies, etc. this time around. Also, this was before the Soyney Cali era so you could still get away with Cero C for a sliver of fabric without holy rays of damnation.

There is a button to hide the text but... are you really that desperate?

This game does get the obligatory +0.5 Jhipster smugness bonus point. I'm not sure why but they didn't even localize the original game much less this fan-service sequel. I suppose non-Jhipsters could try to do whatever non-Jhipsters do if you're that desperate to see a tiny bit of panti. I mean, I won't judge (you sicko).

But if I hide the text, how would you know what's being said here? 

As for the story, I suppose it was a decent follow up adventure to the events of the first game. This time, it's a standard galge ADV where you just have to choose the Mousou triggers that corresponds to each girl's route. In that sense, the story does get a bit boring as it follows the same main narrative just with a different girl. I got so tired of reading the same but slightly altered events and explanations from Erin. Oh yeah, speaking of Erin, she's the sole new character stuck in your computer. I liked Erin's concept and VA and had a few chuckles especially when you scroll up. However, I felt her lack of involvement in the events of the story was a missed opportunity.

2014 when you could still joke about being a lolicon

Speaking of dubious behaviors around fictional underage characters voiced by adults (I feel like I have to point this out), yes, there is an imouto route. There is no incest of course though for reasons I won't go into due to spoilers, the game does bring up some valid points as to why they might not be related. Genetically though, it's a pretty weak argument.

Remember kids, Cero C is ok if you're 15 or older!

As you can imagine for a consumer title, the whole thing is just a big tease. The fact that the routes all follow the same major plot does make the game feel a bit lazy and requires quite a bit of text skipping. Two routes were especially disappointing because they were practically identical. If you played the first game, you could probably guess why since it's Yua.

Yeah, they don't do jack. Not even censored non-sex.

Score: 3.5 What's wrong with imouto naked apron? She just wants to feel comfortable while cooking! out of 5 (24 hours to beat)

Overall, I would say the game is fine. It has some funny moments and it was entertaining enough. The quality of the game is pretty high like the rest of the series so it does get a slightly above-average score. Now, I just need to delete all these screenshots from my sister's computer since she's all complaining about hentai porn or something.

This was NOT the reaction I got when my sister found these pics

If this got localized, do you think they'll go with "mouth rape" for the translation?

I know you are but what am I?

The tips are very helpful, never knew what NTR meant. No, really!

No, don't talk about the law! It's called plausible deniability!

Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely