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Thursday, November 5, 2020

Phantasy Star(ファンタシースター)

So I got a comment (holy smokes, what are those??)  about Phantasy Star that prompted me to pick this game up again. This just goes to show that yes, comments matter here and goddamn I love them little jolts of serotonin. Alistel (thanks for the comments!) prompted me to finally finish the game and I have to say, I had fun with it on the Switch with automap and "Ages Mode" baby difficulty edition.

I played with the scanlines and mapless for all of like 5 minutes

Sure, you could play it without the map OG style but c'mon, the temptation is too hard to resist. If I was in the mood to draw maps, I have a pile of Sekaiju no Meikyuu games somewhere in my hoarder pile (oh god, the never ending backlog...)

For a game that came out in 1987, it looks really, really good. If the Mark III was this capable, it makes you wonder why there weren't more good games on the system (poor Sega). With all the weak arcade ports, and the small library, it's fair to say that this is the best game for the console. 

Granted, I was playing with additional helpful features on the Switch, I still got a good fill of that old-school Japanese RPG fun. Like many early RPGs, you start out really, really weak and need to cautiously save, heal, and slowly bring your level up. Once you get over the initial hurdle, you're off doing the usual exploring, dungeon crawling, and recruiting party members. It's all good, filling that weird need I have once in a while for a repetitively simple and somewhat therapeutic RPG.

Aww, so cute. Ok, time to get to work. KILL BOY KILL!

In addition to the automap, the pause menu has a handy explanation of all the equipment, items, and magic that you would have had to look up back in the day. What? Did you expect an explanation of what shit is IN the game? What next? Maybe you should watch some Youtuber play the game for you? Jesus, kids these days!

Do-heal. LOL, hope the person that came up with that got a nice bonus for creativity (not)

The manual even tells you the various spots where you could get permanently stuck. Ouch, that would suck if you saved and had to start over! As these things often go, I eventually put the game down when I got stuck looking for some shit in a pile of garbage. And of course, how could you not have an early RPG without the section where you have to wade through shit that hurts you on every step. Yes, I will admit I eventually resorted to looking up some help from a handy guide.

I guess it's better than the usual lava which in real life would kill you instantly

In particular, finding the Flow Mover is kind of a dick move requiring you to talk to a random NPC twice, replying both yes and no. Speaking of Flow Mover, the naming in this game is so unoriginal (eg light saber), it's actually kind of funny. Flow Mover - 24 hour dry protection for the active woman. 😂

I can't expect too much from a console RPG in the late 80s but the story was pretty much finding your party members and then just fetch quests. It's too bad because the opening intro was great. The last boss especially seems to come out of nowhere without any explanation and was kinda anti-climatic. Fortunately, I was barely able to win on my first try with all the best equipment. Tyron had 1 HP left and the cat... well, sorry but poor Snuggles didn't make it.

See what happens when you hire APRIL FOOL to write the story? Geesh!

Score: 3 WHY IS MY CHARACTER MOVING BY ITSELF? THIS GAME FUCKING SUCKS!!! out of 5 (Over 10 hours to beat, fuck Switch's ambiguous time tracking)

I had an average amount of fun with this one. It was pretty easy to play with the various quality of life improvements. I can only imagine how awesome it would have seemed back in 1987 but also probably way more frustrating.

Oh, a real gamer girl? Are you selling your dirty bath water, perchance?

I have no major complaints except of course for the fact that MY FUCKING JOYCON DRIFTS!!! You know, this is where I would go on my usual rant about how Nintendo sucks except now Sony decided to become a Twinkie. If you haven't heard the term before, it means they're fucking white on the inside man! They even have a Karen (Catherine but close enough) to explain why they need to spy on you to protect all the millennial snowflakes. If you really believe they won't store your recording past the last 5 minutes, well, ask Alexa to Google that shit for you.

As much as I would've loved a Vita 2 and the old Sony Japan, looks like I'm going to have to abandon Soyney California and settle for Nintendo, the last Japanese console maker.

I made the switch to PS1 for FF7 and it was a good run before things started going downhill with the PS4. Parasite Eve, Metal Gear, Xenogears, the list of fun goes on and on. Let's pour one out for Playstation Japan. Sigh, why does everything suck now? #2020

0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely

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