It's fitting that I finished
Last Bible II just before Labor day because slogging through this boring RPG was quite laborious or as our most eminent and erudite statesman today would say, "much bigly labor (at the golf course)".
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| I just like to snatch me some Gorgon pus- uh... where is it?! |
Now, the
first Last Bible game was localized as
Revelations Slayer Demon Gods Ultra Cross-fire Deathrays on Sharks... or something, whatever the 'merican marketing folks thought would sell. Yet surprisingly, NOA decided to ditch the series starting from this one. I dunno, maybe because the game starts with mass infanticide? I don't know what the problem is, Reggie? Do you hate the bible? Don't tell me you're one of those atheist anarchist Antifa violence, yes there will be actual violence people??
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| Hey mom, what does "dispose of all babies" mean? |
As we all know, there was no ratings board back in the good ol' days so really how were the parents to know not to buy this for kids? After all, it has cute anime kids on the cover and you can barely make out the crowd of demons in the backgrounds. Oh yeah, sorry not demons, these are magical beasts（まじゅう）cause you know, think of the children!
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| Oh I'm sure she'll be crossing her arms in the game as well. It's for kids after all! |
However, thanks to the magic of Nintendo's "emuparadise killer" eshop, we now know that the series went from Cero A from the first game to Cero B. Oh thank goodness parents know not to expose their kids to infant genocide until 12 years old... um what? Cero B for "Sexual Content"? Spoiler alert but um... there's no sexual content unless they're referring to the monster designs in which case what's different from the first game? Oh right, ratings are totally subjective and arbitrarily.
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| I heard a rumor there's a patch that unlocks some hot green tea! |
Anyways, I guess I should get on to talking about the game but I honestly don't have much to say about it. It's just a boring RPG all round and yes, even though it's a Game Boy game, it just doesn't have much going for it even ignoring the primitive graphics.
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| Is this 60FPS? Cause 30 gives me migraine headaches... |
While in the first game, you kind of knew there were going to be 3 Gaia Masters for your party, this game is similar to FFIV in that people come and go throughout the story. I might be exaggerating by even calling it a "story" cause yeah, events occur but they're just kind of random as you go from one generic town to the next. There's so many towns I don't even remember their names or care. I do have to say the highlight of the game is Safia cause she's a girl that was so naughty, they had to lock her up. I don't mean naughty in any sexual way though despite her attire (and the Cero rating).
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| Waaait! My pants! |
They added a token
demon magic beast fusion system and some other ways to grow demons such as carrying an egg and defending it from attacks. Honestly, I really can't think of a reason why you would want to play this game. I only made it through thanks to fast forward on my PSP err... I mean... they have fast forward on 3DS virtual console right? But yeah, seriously, save your 617 yen unless you have an unhealthy obsession with playing things in order.
Score: 1.5 let's see if this qualifies as an Adsense violation out of 5
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| Wide open arms, damn false advertising! |
The game got particularly annoying near the end when it started getting coy about where you were supposed to go such as buying a certain type of claw to open a floating rock to get the Lapis. Thakfully, there was a playthrough on YouTube but then I had to wonder why I didn't just watch the rest like the kids these days.
Scale
0 - Awful
1 - Bad and not worth your time
2 - Has some flaws but still enjoyable
3 - An average enjoyable experience
4 - A great game
5 - Masterpiece of a caliber only found very rarely
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